(Closed) what increments in red envelope do you usually give your good friends?

posted 7 years ago in East Asian
Post # 3
Member
64 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

@dianeanthony: when we opened our red envelopes, we found that it usually was about $200 a couple. Even though we had many traditional/old school attendees, they did not give the usually “8” numbers, even for the tea ceremony. i am also short on cash, so for the two of us, I’ve been giving $100– either cash or in the form of a giftcard.

Post # 4
Member
258 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Hm…I think in this day and age, you don’t have to go by the 8’s.  My family members give me 50s and 100s and stuff like that for things like graduations.  Even my grandma.  And she’s totally the quintessential Chinese grandma.  Just make sure nothing ends/involves 4 and I’m sure you’ll be cool.  Even though they’re Asian, they’ll probably understand that it was ridiculous to cram 3 $1s and a five and a couple twenties in a red envelope. They might not even be aware of the auspicious background of the 8 if they were raised here. 

I say give what you can and hopefully they’ll understand that you’re not financially in a position to give any more.  But that you will support them by attending their wedding and celebrating with them.  Enjoy that Banquet dinner!!  They’re the besttttt. 

Post # 5
Member
258 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Oh, and also, if you’re not Asian yourself, you’re not obligated to put it in a red envelope!  You’d probably have a hard time finding just one anyways (they come in packs of like..50). 

I mean no racism or ethnic insensitivity at all by my following comment:

Generally speaking, Asians don’t expect their non-Asian friends to abide by or follow their cultures and traditions.  It might be fun to research it and try to get involved, but if you get it wrong, they won’t hold it against you!  I don’t even REALLY expect my own Asian cousins to be that Asian-y when it comes to my wedding/gifts.  So just do what you like and you’ll probably be fine! 

Post # 7
Member
10568 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2011

I have questions about this too!  I can probably get a red envelope from a friend easily enough.  I can’t make it to the wedding.  Is it appropriate to put a cheque into a red envelope or does it have to be cash?  If cheque is ok, what amount should I make it?  I was planning on giving $50, but would $58.88 or some other amount be better?

Post # 9
Member
10568 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2011

@dianeanthony:  Thanks!

 

I’m altering the amount partially because I’m getting married.  Normally I’d give more, but don’t want them to feel like they need to spend the same amount.  Also, this is a coworker (we’re all students) and some coworkers won’t give much for gifts.  I didn’t want the amount to stand out from the group.  If I were actually able to attend I might have given more, but probably something like $88, less than a typical wedding.

Post # 10
Member
81 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

i THINK $100 IS FAIR

Post # 11
Member
286 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

We normally give $150-200 for the both of us. But also depends on where the reception is. If it’s at a much more expensive location I would increase it to at least be able to cover whatever portion of the meal we eat and then the gift on top.

Post # 12
Member
104 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I think it depends on your financial situation. The last good/best friend wedding I went to, I was still in law school, so I couldn’t afford to give too much. I gave her $88 (in a check) for both me and my bf. If a close friend was getting married now, I would probably give about $108 or something like that. 

Post # 13
Member
14 posts
Newbee

The GENERAL rule of thumb is

$50 – if not attending

$100 – attending but not close ie co-worker

If you guys are closer i would suggest like $200-300 avg

I don’t think the amount has to be in 8’s  aka $88

Post # 14
Member
803 posts
Busy bee

Usually $100 per person from your family who is attending. At least that’s what I remember my parents doing. 

Although – my mom recently gave me a red envelope with $168 and told me to never spend it so that it would bring me good luck. 1-6-8: yi -liu – ba which becomes yi -lu -fa. Path to properity. 

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