(Closed) What is a good amount of money to give as a wedding gift?

posted 5 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 2
699 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2019

It depends on the wedding, but we usually do somewhere between $200 & $500, depending on how close we are to the couple.

Post # 3
4225 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2015 - Hotel Ballroom

For me, I base it on what I estimate the cost of the plate is…though closeness DOES factor in. For example, if I estimated the cost of the plate was $100, I would do a gift of $200 (me plus DH’s plate)…but if it were people we were really close with we may do $250….if it is someone where we aren’t reallys sure why we were invited (like when we were invited to the wedding of my frenemy) I’d lowball it and do $150.

Post # 4
10282 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

It depends on what you can afford and what you want to give. My husband and I will give more to couples we are closer to, $200 is the most we have given. 

Post # 5
2589 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2017 - Valleybrook Country Club

View original reply
loramarie :  We go by the standard of $300 for us as a couple. If we’re really close, up to $500. However, you should also give what you can afford. Where you live plays a big role in that too.

Post # 6
10224 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2014 - Chicago, IL

 We usually give $100, and now I feel cheap embarassed

Post # 7
1601 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

Depends on your budget and to some part, your region, and how close you are to the couple. Anything between a card to $500 could be appropriate depending on all of the other factors. For most couples I give $50-$150 depending on closeness and how much I had to spend to travel.  

Post # 8
474 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

For me it completely depends upon how much money I am spending to attend the wedding, if I have given gifts to them related to the wedding before the wedding and my budget.   When DH and I have to travel to a wedding (happens often since we live far from family and many friends) we will only give $100-$150 as we cannot typically afford more since we spent $1,000+ to be there.  For local weddings we are more likely to give $150-$200.  There are only a few people I would consider giving more like $500 for a gift.

Post # 9
3606 posts
Sugar bee

Ask your friends what they’re giving and give the same amount. The rule of thumb in my circle is $250 per couple.

Post # 10
5778 posts
Bee Keeper

I  totally disagree with the ‘cost of the plate’ concept, I know some people (including in mine & DH’s circles) figure ‘cost of plate +20%’ or some such thing. So if a couple decides to go the $300/ plate lobster & caviar option, I’m supposed to cough up $600 or more?!? A sweet young couple just starting out and paying for everything themselves gets far less because they’re having a BBQ?! Nope, no way. 

I would, however, factor costs we’ve had to pay though- for example if you’re in the wedding party and it’s been one financial demand after another, I’d give a smaller gift. 

 I tend to base how much we give off our closeness to the couple getting married. I’d be far more generous with a family member or longtime bestie than I would be with a co-worker. When I was younger (aka broke grad student), what I could afford to give would also be a major factor and if I couldn’t afford to put much at all in a card, I’d forego the cash-giving altogether and use my limited funds to put together a nice gift that required more time and thought than money. 

Post # 11
485 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

You give what you can afford and are comfortable with.  

There are many ‘rules’ about giving based on where you live, your family, etc.  (like cover your plate…) But at the end of the day you give what you are comfortable giving.  If it’s just a card, or $20, or $500, you give what you can.

FWIW I think $150 is a generous wedding gift.  We usually give about that.


Post # 12
330 posts
Helper bee

View original reply
loramarie :  we normally gift $150-300 for a wedding, depending on how much we have to spend to get to the wedding (if we have to fly to a destination) and how close we are to the couple.

Post # 13
9380 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

View original reply
loramarie :  Give what you can afford and what you feel compelled to give. For some people $100 is a lot of money for them to give, while others can write a check for $500 without blinking an eye. I tend to alter my gifts slightly based on closeness to the couple, if I had to travel far for the wedding, and if I was in the wedding party and already spent a lot on the other events. 

Post # 14
118 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

We just gave $150 the other day. I think that is more than fine.

Post # 15
214 posts
Helper bee

I normally gift the cost of an average plate. So as a previous poster said, I don’t take into account if there is lobster being served. At some point, it’s at the expense of the couple to splurge on what will make their day the vision they had. 

Where I live, the average is $125, so I guess that would leave me with $250-300 for me and fiancé. If it is a close friend, we’ll leave like $50 bucks more. If it’s a close relative, we’ll leave a couple hundred more to be honest. 

At the end of the day, it depends on what you can afford! 

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