(Closed) What is a good amount of money to give as a wedding gift?

posted 4 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 17
Member
5085 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2014

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FutureDrAtkins :  LOL. The amounts people say they give on here absolutely astonish me! $500? damn. 

We’re going to a wedding tomorrow. My mother asked me what we’re giving them and I said probably some cash. She said, what do you give, like $25? That would be the norm where I’m from (not where I live now), the largest gift we got was $100 from a family of 5 adults. For tomorrow’s wedding, we ended up getting something off the registry for $150 and called it good.

Post # 18
Member
13073 posts
Honey Beekeeper

The only guideline for what to spend is your own budget and the closeness of the relationship. Cover the plate is a vile distortion of the practice of the natural tendency for people to want to be generous to loved ones on such an occasion. But there is no such rule and there never has been. 

While giving money is customary in some circles, traditional etiquette maintains that it’s more thoughtful for a gift to be a tangible symbol, hand selected as something the couple will have to cherish and remember them by as they start their lives together. Money is seen as crass. 

Personally, I follow a “when in Rome” approach. If money is customary, as it is with quite a number of weddings we attend, we’ll give a check. If gifts are typical, we send a gift. I think our gifts are generous or on par with what most people in our circles give, but that is not my criteria. We’ll spend the same amount regardless of whether it’s black tie or back yard DIY.

Post # 19
Member
702 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

I typicially do $100 for out of town weddings, weddings that we’ve had other expenses for (ie–shower gift, engagement party gift, wedding party expenses etc). I would also do $100 if I’m not that close with the couple, like if we were invited to a co-workers wedding. 

For closer friends and family, we’ll do $150-$200.

Post # 20
Member
175 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

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FutureDrAtkins :  Same! We usually give $60-100 depending on how close we are to the couple. But, I feel like this is about average for my area.

Post # 21
Hostess
9986 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2014 - Chicago, IL

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SithLady :  I think we’re both from the Midwest right? $100 is generous in our group of friends, I feel. I couldn’t imagine giving $500 either! $500 is the type of money we got from immediate family (FIL and MIL) at our wedding. Our families certainly aren’t well to do by any means, so I was astonished by that level of generosity. I’m not sure how I would feel if I received that much from a friend! 

Post # 22
Member
5085 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2014

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FutureDrAtkins :  Maine, but it’s very similar in lifestyle to the midwest. $100 would definitely be a generous gift there for a relatively close friend or relative. If I got $500 from a friend, I’d probably call them up to let them know they added an extra 0 by mistake!

Post # 23
Member
169 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

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FutureDrAtkins :  Same here ! 

We usually give $100 – if it’s just a ceremony no dinner – we give half. $50.

Post # 24
Member
1167 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

New York based here, at least $100 per person.  I think $100 is on the low end in our circle of friends, actually.  Attending a wedding next month, not particularly close to the couple and it’s a Sunday night wedding (call me spiteful, but I always give less for Sunday night weddings, because I think they’re cheaper and not convenient to guests), so I plan on giving $250 for DH and me.

Post # 25
Member
1744 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

We do $300 for us. If we’re really close to the couple, we will do $400-$500.

Post # 26
Member
419 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

The least we’ve given is 200 and the max would probably be 500 (from the two of us) depending on how close we are to the couple.  I’d say 250-300 being the average.

Post # 27
Member
9808 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

Yeah, it also depends on the area.  Ask your friends what they give if you’re close.  I live in the midwest and though I’m in a city many of my friends and relatives are from smaller towns or even super tiny towns (you know, like 200 people in the middle of nowhere).  And it would be unusual to receive/give more than $50 for a couple unless they’re family.  And even then, family might be $75-$100.  $100 for a friend would be probably considered VERY generous around here.  If I remember, the most I received from anyone was an aunt (family of 3) for $200.  Friends were all around $20-25 per person (so $40 to $50 a couple).  A few (like a couple) friends maybe $50 per person.  I got a $5 gift card from someone.

Post # 28
Member
7245 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

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loramarie :  Give what you can afford.

For us our average is around $200, and any more just depends on how close we are to them and how much we’ve already spent.

We usually do $500 for super close friends. We totally get that’s not the norm but we are in a position to do it. Sometimes we might do less for the wedding but get them something really nice on their honeymoon.

DH’s job means that a lot of our friends are quite a bit older than us and pretty financially secure. We had several of them who really gifted over and beyond for us. I’m talking like a card w/ $1,000 or simiarly priced physical gifts for our honeymoon.

 

Post # 29
Member
148 posts
Blushing bee

We usually give between $200-300 for the two of us. We have given $500 on two occasions, but these were my best friends (and they had given us the same amount for ours, so we knew we would be matching that). 

Also, in my area is is very common to have cash bars. I really don’t mind, and I give my gift knowing that. However if I arrive at a wedding and it is open bar, I take the cash I brought for drinks and add it to my gift. So sometimes it ends up being more because of that. 

Post # 30
Member
470 posts
Helper bee

Where I live (southeast Texas), most people give about $50. I just got married, and we had one friend give us $100. The ONLY person who gave us more than that was my husband’s grandmother who gave $300. I’m always shocked by cash gifts on the bee, as these just are not standard at all.

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