(Closed) What is a healthy marriage to YOU?

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
5956 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2018

Neat post!

For me, a healthy marriage is one founded on trust, respect and honesty.

Neither of us will ever tolerate lying of any kind, and if either of us behaves in a way that violates or negates the trust, respect or honesty we’ve worked so very hard to build and maintain, it’s clearly over anyway.

Issues like infidelity, financial irresponsibility, family interference and general jackassery are total gray areas, since we both feel very strongly that a misstep in these arenas might not be the problem as much as they are the symptom of a greater relationship illness that requires both of our attention….and since we both know that mistakes are a given, it’s the response to those errors in judgement that define us as individuals as well as a couple, we both operate under the rule that judgement is suspended until all information can be divulged or discovered.

I love our exceptional ability to communicate as well as listen to each other, our unbreakable connection and the quiet yet powerful adoration we both exhibit for the other…I hate our collective tempers at certain times, the empathetic insomnia we’ll both have if one of us is upset AND to be really honest…I hate when he uses my razor to shave the hair off the tops of his feet….gross.

 

 

Post # 4
Member
2874 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

 

fidelity, trust, and respect are a must. For me, respect  covers honesty, not cursing or being disparaging to your partner, and considering their needs to be equally important to your own (so it links with equality in the relationship)

dealbreakers – infidelity, physical abuse, drug use or criminal behaviour (i dont mean something like speeding, but more serious crimes)

Grey area – if my fi admitted a problem – a drug or gambling addiction for example, but said he was drawing a line under it and taking steps to sort out the problem then i dont think id leave him. 

Post # 6
Member
435 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

Wow, I’m surprised not more people have commented on this! I think it’s a super interesting thread and much more relevant to marriage than the millions of ring threads that I see!

Healthy marriage to me is supporting one another, respecting one another (and under this is fidelity and honesty), trusting one another and in general, putting one another ahead of everyone else in your lives. A healthy marriage means communicating and solving problems together. I think that in a healthy marriage you share the good and the bad, the failures and the successes.

Deal breakers would any type of abuse, continuous infidelity (and maybe even one time infidelity), lack of respect and lack of love.

Grey areas are pretty much everything else. I feel like our relationship is strong enough to work through the majority of problems that we would/could/will face but I know that there are many situations that would be more difficult to overcome than others.

Post # 7
Member
37 posts
Newbee

  • What types of things are a must for a healthy marriage?

Trust, open communication and a mutual feeling of respect and value.

  • What are deal breakers to you?

Abuse- mental, physical, if he tried to iscolate me from my family and friends or control me in a way which affected my ability to live the life I want to lead.

  • What are some things you think are a gray area?

Everything except abuse is a gray area for me. There is nothing (cheating, lying, financial issues etc.) that I would not try extremely hard to sort out with my Darling Husband before leaving the relationship.

  • Married bees; what about YOUR marriage do you think is great, what needs improving?

Darling Husband and I are very different people. I wear my heart on my sleeve and he lives his life based on logic. We look at most things from a different perspective and that is great in that we each help each other see another view point but can also cause friction and feelings of lack of understanding.

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