(Closed) What is a polite way to answer this question? Or a polite way to avoid it.

posted 7 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
1498 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I think if you are honest and keep it simple, people won’t pry on your wedding day about it.

Post # 4
Member
745 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I don’t know how to avoid it…but if it comes up and asks just say that he has made his choices and that’s that.  If they have any common sense they’ll drop the subject right then and there, and maybe your Fiance needs to be prepared to deal with anything further than that.  It’s also none of their business.

We went through a lot of “is his dad going to show or not” and honestly that’s what I told people.  He makes his choices, and whatever he chooses to do, so be it.  No one pushed.

Post # 5
Member
1014 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I think you should just put it simply… he’s not a part of my life, and wasn’t invited to the party should explain it.  I really doubt that people will ask about someone they don’t even know exists, and you said that those close to you, who know you have a dad, know he won’t be there anyway.  At most weddings, people don’t even notice who’s not there because they’re so busy having fun with those who are there.  🙂

Post # 6
Member
5096 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I *very* much doubt it will come up at the wedding, but if it does, just say lightly, “oh, he isn’t in my life” and ask them if their trip was an easy one (or similar small talk question).

Post # 8
Member
272 posts
Helper bee

I agree that short and simple is the best! maybe something like, “my father’s not really in the picture.”

Post # 9
Member
875 posts
Busy bee

I think you can let your Future In-Laws know that it’s okay to share that news with their friends who will be attending.  (I doubt that someone will ask you, rather that they may be making conversation with your family, and ask something random… more out of lack of knowledge or just an assumption that is incorrect.  Your new family is going to be telling people how much they love you, and they can help your family not have to have any awkward conversations on your day of joy. 

Post # 10
Member
289 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

This was the situation for me, too-actually none of my father’s family ended up being able to make it (though not because I’m estranged from him, just because they couldn’t make it). The only people who asked as far as I know were DH’s grandparents, and they didn’t ask me, but his parents, which made it easy enough. I think if someone does ask, it will probably be the case that they don’t ask you but another family member. If anyone had asked, I agree with the others-short and sweet, “he’s not a part of my life.”

Post # 11
Member
1046 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

“My father is not a part of my life.” Just say it simply. You probably won’t get asked many questions after saying that.

Post # 12
Member
576 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Keep it simple like others have said and if they ask more questions just say “I’d rather not get into details” and change the subject. 

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