(Closed) What is "crazy expensive" to you?

posted 7 years ago in Rings
  • poll: A crazy expensive e-ring is:

    over $1,000

    over $3,000

    over $5,000

    over $10,000

    over $15,000

    over $20,000

    $30,000+

  • Post # 152
    Member
    416 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: March 2013

    Well, I’m sorry a random person’s opinion the the internet bothers you so much.

    It’s not one person’s opinion, but the implication that those who may have an expensive ring (which is relative, by the way…) should somehow feel guilty, shameful, or have their character called into question.  I see this is a continuing theme here (and in our society, for that matter).  As another poster mentioned, if the tables were turned and someone said, “Well, if you don’t have a ring that cost $10K (or whatever is “insane” to you), then why bother??  It’s clear your FH doesn’t give a crap about you… Just don’t wear a ring at all if you can’t wear a worthy ring!”, people would be totally pissed off –and with good reason!  Those comments would be judgemental, not to mention way out of line to assume there is a correct/incorrect amount to money to spend on a ring.

    It’s the sentiment that “wealth is bad” and “those who have are of lesser moral character than those who have not” that bothers me.  There will always be people who have more or less than you have — that doesn’t mean you should feel bad for where you stand among them… whether it be when comparing clothes, housing, rings, or anything…  Some are born into wealth, some work their way up from nothing to achieve a nice income… regardless of how these people obtained their wealth, they don’t owe anyone an explanation or apology for their spending habits or what they have or don’t have.  It’s their budget, their lives, their business.   

    The question of what was considered “insanely expensive” for an ering was asked on a public forum, so obviously answers will vary greatly, as members are from many different cultures and walks of life.  To assume that someone’s spending habits are indicative of their moral character can come off as preachy and judgemental.  Period.

    It certainly IS a good thing that I don’t have an expensive ring. (I think you meant to imply I don’t deserve one anyway? lol, pretty rude of you, but whatever. As a matter of fact I agree, I don’t think I’m entitled to a diamond at the cost of environmental degradation, and even perhaps lives).

    No one on this entire thread has mentioned the idea of “deserving” any ring, nor has that even been implied… so I have no clue as to how you came to that conclusion with any statements on this thread, much less mine.  I simply said that if it bothers you so much, then it’s good that you don’t have to worry about it (as you said, you picked out what you wanted) — since you said you “wouldn’t be able to live with yourself otherwise.”  LOL  

    To imply that a larger/nicer/more expensive diamond automatically comes at the cost of “environmental degradation” or [human] “lives” is a rather rude, uneducated, and condemnatory assumption to make… I won’t even go into the melodramatic and preachy undertones associated with this statement.  For the love… I mean, really?!  If you insist on going down that road, how can you assume that your ring hasn’t degraded the environment or left a left a mine worker enslaved or dead??  I’m pretty sure they find smaller diamonds much more often than the larger ones.  Even if you have a lab-created gem, who is to say that your ring didn’t support unethical/unpaid labor or environmental degredation by the introduction of chemicals to the earth during the synthesis of such materials??  

    I hope you can at least see the ridiculousness that your statements can imply…

    Anyway, I chose my own ring according to my own values, to please myself and my partner, and not you.

    GREAT!  So did I — so don’t make blanket assumptions based on your values, finances, and opinions on what is “correct” to spend on anything, as this only holds true for you and not everyone else.

    I may judge people privately in my own head and I’m free to do that, but  FWIW, I didn’t yell at anyone or say anyone is immoral in this conversation, nor do I do so IRL. I was speaking for myself. 

    Of course you are free to do anything you want — in your head.  But you chose to post on a public forum.  I understand that you may not have meant to say something judgemental, but that’s how your statements can come across.  To say that you “wouldn’t be able to live with yourself” if you had a ring that cost $1K or more implies (according to what you expressed on this public forum) that those who do indeed own erings of $1K or more should feel guilty or shameful in some way… it comes across as shaming/guilting those others in a passive agressive fashion (without having to yell), regardless of how you meant it.  

    I’m continually amazed that it’s considered acceptable to try to shame or question the morals/character of those who have nicer things, but it would be unthinkable to shame those who have less… It’s a total double-standard, because neither is acceptable.

    Having grown up in a family that could barely afford to clothe ourselves and pay rent at the same time, yeah, I might have developed some differing opinions on finances.

    Unless you feel everyone grew up the exact same way that you did, then it would be safe to say that there are vastly varying opinions on finances…  It doesn’t justify the judgement of others, regardless of how it’s written or presented.

     

    Post # 153
    Member
    4108 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2015

    For me, anything over $5k kind of boggles my mind, but I’m not yet financially in a place where $5k is pocket change. 10, 15, 20, 30k legitimately makes me shake my head every time I try to imagine the justification for that. Talk to me in five years when both my SO and I are in our dream jobs, but for now, DAYUM. I think once you get into the “could outright buy a car” or “put a downpayment on a really nice house” you have entered the “crazy” expensive phase. My SO’s cousin bought his now wife a $30k engagement ring and when I saw it, I’m not sure what I expected, but I was like…meh about it. I kept thinking,”Okay, it’s a ring. It’s shiny, but so is moissanite. It’s a diamond, but I don’t like diamonds. Does it do any tricks?” 

    I voted for $5k, but even four or three thousand makes me a little nervous. I’m not yet in a point where I can justify it. 

     

    Post # 154
    Member
    1768 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 1997

    View original reply
    @VivienMarcheline:  yeah, agree with thiis, the wedding is a few hours, the ring is worn everyday for a lifetime…

    View original reply
    @msop04: +100, and very well said.

    Post # 155
    Member
    8036 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2013

    View original reply
    @polyblonde:  +1,000,000 to everything you’ve said. Some people are so sanctimonious on here, wow.

    Post # 156
    Member
    110 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    Oh give me a break, this is just foolish now.  If you’re really going to judge large rings, I may as well hamper down on other’s lifestyles. 

    GET OFF THE INTERNET!  YOU”RE WASTING MONEY (and time if you’re on this site, because we all know time is money). 

    Seriously, internet is what, about $40/mo for most?  Almost $500 a year?  And lets say you have cable, jeezus, the damn Comcoast cable + internet is $99/mo so $1200/yr.  Completely unnecessary.  Stick an antenna on your roof and call it good with the local channels.

     

    So unless you’re typing your post from the local library or school where you’re getting free internet and you don’t own a TV or microwave in your house, you’re probably not managing your money that well vs being in some insane poverty.  Try driving through Cape Town and seeing families live in houses smaller than a Radio Shack’s bathroom.

     

    Love – the lady with a stupid rock and no cable tv.

    Post # 157
    Member
    4108 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2015

    So, I definitely did not read the comments before I commented myself…This thread has turned nasty. 

    Post # 158
    Member
    772 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2013 - Dalhousie Castle

    My Engagement Ring has a none diamond stone. We’re both scientists and I’m still in grad school so we couldn’t bring ourselves to spend a lot of our hard earned, small salaries on an expensive ring. We are currently saving up to try to afford our first house.

    We got my ring for under 1000 and it looks amazing and sparkles all day long and when you know the chemistry, it’s hard to get bothered about carbon vs other elements. 

    Post # 159
    Member
    930 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: January 2013

    This is getting out of control.  My 2 cents:

     

    when I was under 22 – I thought $5,000 was expensive

    when I was seriously considering marriage and learned about diamonds – $10,000 was expensive

    when I am observing erings on the bee – $20,000 is expensive.

     

    It is all relative. The bee has de-sensitized me. In reality, in my neck of the woods, if someone had a $10,000 ring and let the price be know – heads would POP!

    Post # 160
    Member
    8036 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2013

    View original reply
    @msop04:  Totally agree with your post #151!

    Post # 161
    Member
    3415 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2014 - Lodge

    Anything over $4,000 is too expensive.  I think even above $3,000 is crazy but I get that the metal type and diamond/stone grade makes the price go up.  I think E-rings are just outrageously priced anyway.  But I think personally over $4,000 is too expensive.

    Post # 162
    Member
    11517 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2014

    to me, over 5 is pushing it but 10+ is just ridiculous.

    That said – that’s for ME.  I don’t judge others who can afford these things.  There are people who would probably be shocked and appalled that we spent what we did on my ring (which I consider to be slightly more than a modest amount).

    I was just asked to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man (for one of my BMs) who’s ring likely cost 10 and if not, it was pretyt darn close, but her FH comes from money and his parents would have been embarrassed had he given her anything less.

    Post # 163
    Member
    1460 posts
    Bumble bee

    View original reply
    @polyblonde:  +1 from another “insane” ring owner who obviously kills kittens in her spare time.

    To answer the thread, I say “crazy” expensive is anything I can’t afford. $50k would probably make me raise an eyebrow because that is really expensive, $100k is crazy expensive and would make me faint because I know my Fiance and he wouldn’t have been comfortable spending that much money on something I’d wear around DC or traveling. For celebs and kajillionaires…I don’t think anything is really crazy expensive. For people who are less well off, I try to stay out of their pockets so I don’t really have an opinion on how anyone else spends his/her money.

     

    Post # 164
    Member
    416 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: March 2013

    View original reply
    @sxcwed:  Amen, sister!  LOL

    The topic ‘What is "crazy expensive" to you?’ is closed to new replies.

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