- 6 years ago
- Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort
A recent post has made it quite clear that there is confusion over what etiquette is. I don’t mean about the rules of etiquette, but rather about what falls under the domain to etiquette.
Etiquette is the assembled body of customs and rules established and maintained by a society concerning acceptable and polite behavior, usually in regards to social situations, but also used of professional ones.
So, for wedding etiquette, whether or not to serve alcohol is not a matter of etiquette. That is a matter of choice and circumstance. What is a matter of etiquette, however, is how alcohol is made available to guests. In most places, but not all (because different societies have different rules), etiquette dictates that the hosts provide free of charge all alcohol offered, whether it’s none, just beer, beer and wine, a full bar, whathaveyou.
Etiquette does not dictate how you communicate with your guests that they are to respond and how they are to respond, but it does dictate that you give them a means of responding and that they in turn respond appropriately and in a timely manner without including uninvited guests.
Etiquette does not dictate whether you have a dollar dance; cultural preference and tradition does. Etiquette does not dictate where you register, when, how, or for what, but it does dictate that you are not overt in how you share that information with your guests, because you are not supposed to ask for gits; you are merely supposed to make your preferences known to those who actively seek out your preferences. Here is a good example of changing etiquette, though, because until the 1910s, registries were taboo, and now they are not.
So basically, wedding etiquette is there to help you communicate with your guests and show them a good time and to help your guests reciprocate by communicating properly with you and enjoying themselves without adding any undue burden to the hosts.