(Closed) what is it like to get married??

posted 6 years ago in Married Life
Post # 3
Member
753 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

The whole day I had a hard time believing it was really happening. It felt very surreal to me. Kind of like an amazing dream! I don’t think I snapped back to reality until Darling Husband and I got back to the hotel. As soon as we opened the doors to our hotel room I started bawling! There were so many built up emotions from the day that I needed to let out. At that point I realized that I was now MARRIED to my best friend and I got really excited. It felt so weird to think that I was someones WIFE! Truly no matter what happens during the wedding, the best part is at the end of the day you are MARRIED!

Post # 4
Member
107 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

I agree with skipper2010. The whole time I was planning, dealing with family issues, and even getting dressed on the actual day of the wedding, it didn’t sink in. I was taking pictures with my bridesmaids, and nothing. I got a sudden rush of emotion when my dad came to get me to walk down the aisle. Then I saw my husband waiting for me and I was just so happy to see him that I forgot everything else. Even during the reception, knowing that all those people were there for us, to celebrate our marrige, wasn’t enough to make me realize that I was married. It wasn’t until we got to our room at the hotel and we alone together that it finally hit me that I was married to the man I love. I think that, at least partially, the reason for that was because we were abstinent for our whole relationship, so we were never really allowed to stay in hotels together- our families would have gone nuts (all of them are very Christian). So being in a bedroom alone with him, knowing that it wasn’t wrong anymore, finally made me realize fully that we were married.

To this day though, I don’t think it’s fully sunk in yet. Everything’s still very surreal. But being married is wonderful and I couldn’t imagine anything else πŸ™‚

Post # 5
Member
378 posts
Helper bee

I’ll share my experience πŸ™‚

Leading up to the wedding I was incredibly stressed. The day before the wedding I was bawling my eyes out about how stressed I was and how I just wanted to go elope and didn’t want to deal with the whole “wedding” part lol. So we went through the rehearsal, everything was fine and my girls and I spent the night in a hotel.

I woke up the next morning so calm! It was so weird considering how big of a mess I was the day before. I woke up feeling refreshed, I was the only one who slept through the night and the morning of the wedding I just remember feeling relaxed. I sat with my mom and my sister and watched reruns of wedding shows until it was time to get ready lol. I think that lowkey start to the morning really helped me stay calm for the rest of the day.

My husband and I decided to do a first look so that was the big moment for us. He stood at the end of a line of trees with his back to me and I made the long trek down to him. I remember laughing most of the way and wondering what he would think of my dress. We hugged each other and the photographer said okay now give her a kiss so we leaned in and kissed. Immediately the photographers yelled “NOO!! I meant on her cheek, you arent supossed to kiss before the ceremony” and we both burst out laughing (we have a hilarious photo of that moment). We snuck another kiss when no one was looking again. We were both so excited to just be with each other and we didnt want that part of the day to end because we were just having so much fun with no one else around. We drove in seperate cars to the venue and I remember he got there first and was walking past when we drove in. We waved at each other and he blew a kiss and I just remember being so happy.

The ceremony itself was interesting. Walking down the aisle, I had the biggest smile on my face and he looked like he was going to cry lol. We held hands during the ceremony and I kept squeezing his hands because he looked so emotional and I just kept smiling like an idiot lol. I remember being so happy when we said our vows because we selected ones that held a lot of meaning to us. Everything our officiant said made us smile because we spent time picking it out. Our first kiss thoughts werent what I had hoped though. We were supossed to have our first kiss infront of the gazebo (so everyone could see!) and instead our weird officiant had us kiss behind the registry table at the back of the gazebo. So my thoughts during that were “Um really, why here?!” but we kissed anyways πŸ™‚

We had a great day, but I don’t think it really became real to us until that night. We went back to our house to feed the cats haha (they leave that part out of the movies) and for me to change out of the dress. I was so relieved to be out of that dress by the end of the day! It felt real when we went back to the venue to our suite and they had a note to the “Mr. and Mrs.” and that was exciting for us. Going on the honeymoon definitely made it feel real too and was a great experience.

Sorry I just realized how long this was lol but that’s my honest recap of the day and my thoughts and feelings throughout. I can remember every little detail of the day even though it did go by so fast like everyone says!

Post # 6
Member
2263 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

If it should have hit me by now ‘hey I’m married’ …. it really hasn’t :/ I’m sorry to say. Darling Husband thinks things are better but honestly I don’t see a different. Maybe that’s because we had a terrible engagement period and our wedding was a day I’m trying to forget because no one was there for me. 

I’m sorry and hope you can honestly feel excited. 

It’s great being married…. but the actual wedding? Nope… it really didn’t do anything for me. Maybe it’s just me, though. I always knew I’d live the rest of my life with my best friend, being married pretty much only made that legally easier…. it didn’t signify anything to me personally. The guests enjoyed it though. 

Post # 7
Member
395 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I’ll share!!! 

For the months before the wedding I would tell Darling Husband, “I’m gonna marry you!!” We decided to elope with just his family there. We eloped six hours away, and it was so stressful trying to get to where we needed to go to get married! Once we got there though, I was relaxed and calm. 

Getting ready felt like I was getting ready for any other day. The only difference was that I had to wear a heavy dress and shoes that were hard to walk in. I was excited. I wasn’t nervous. I wasn’t second guessing myself. I wasn’t like, “Oh God, what the hell am I doing?! Do I really want to do this??!?” Everything felt very right and I was very at peace with what was about to happen. 

Saying our vows (we wrote our own) was very intimate and emotional for us. Darling Husband was smiling like he was so content and so happy. I finally lost it and ugly-face cried right as I was finishing my vows.  But it only lasted for a few seconds because Darling Husband was smiling at me and sqeezing my hands and was so encouraging.  

Then we were married and Ta Dah! After Mother-In-Law and BIL left, Darling Husband and I went downtown to find some food — I was so hungry (after only having eaten only once that day) that the smell of pizza damn-near brought me to tears.  Thats when I kind of felt myself releasing some of the emotion I had been holding on to from the day.

Now — even though I have my name changed everywhere except with my dental insurance now, (even on my social security card) — I still feel like an imposter when I call myself FirstName NewLastName.  I feel like I am LYING!!! I don’t even feel like that’s what my name is!!! 

Oh, and for weeks after the wedding, I kept wanting to look at Darling Husband and say, “I’m going to marry you!” — but after the wedding whenever I would think that, I would have to think, “OMG I already did!” 

I am three months in as of yesterday, and I love being married. The first three months have been bliss!! — and the furthest thing from the “hardest”. 

 

Post # 9
Member
287 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

It all seemed totally surreal to me.  The wedding ceremony was amazing, I was crying because I felt so much love.  During the reception though I kind of really just wanted to get some alone time with my new hubby!  We only got like a few seconds after the wedding until the ceremony was over.  Hanging out at the hotel together after was great and the honeymoon was awesome!  It definitely took a few months until it actually sunk in that we were married, but its so great.  I love being married!

Post # 10
Member
2195 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

My mom’s favorite story from our wedding day is when we were getting ready to walk down the aisle, I looked at her and said, “Oh my god!” and then the doors opened and everyone stood up and then my mom said, “OH MY GOD!”

I think that’s a good way to describe our day. It was a lot of WOW! and OMG I’m getting married! I surrounded myself with my best friends and my favorite people, and they all made me feel calm and relaxed. And then WOOSH it was over. It was the best day ever.

Post # 11
Member
593 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I’ll share my experiences.

Everyone around me kept telling me how surprised they were over how calm I was leading up to the big weekend – good thing I was able to out up a great front! πŸ˜‰  I was pretty stressed.  I had a non stop to-do list and basically the month leading up to the wedding I spent 2 hours a night, 4 hours each weekend day working on wedding stuff. Its true what they say that the wedding is such hard work that you need a honeymoon! But I enjoyed it – it was a LOT of fun and I enjoy the time it gave me with my mom, grandma, sisters, etc!

I had made a promise to myself that Friday afternoon when we left for the hotel (nearby, just that we stayed Friday night as well as Saturday) that was it, no drama, no worrying, just sit back and relax!  And boy am I happy I had promised myself that! To be honest, I dont even know that I really remember the rehearsal much – it was surreal that it was happening already.  It seemed like yesterday we had gotten engaged.  The emotions first hit me during our rehearsal dinner – when Darling Husband and I stood up to thank everyone for coming I almost lost it.  When you look around a room and see the faces or everyone you know and love smiling back at you its pretty incredible feeling.  I was so overwhelmed that I forgot to thank my aunt for traveling all the way from new zealand – doh!

The morning of the wedding I was super calm, like scaring my friends calm.  But I just kept looking at them and being like “this is the best day of my life, why wouldn’t I be calm”.  I did have a strict rule and asked that people not cry – well asked them to try.  My mom tried to break it a few times.  Putting the dress on was the most real it got – that was “omg I am putting the dress on and not in a wedding dress store”.  From there I went into business mode…I was terrified for the church part for many reasons 1) being in front of people 2) remembering my vows 3) having to pee!  When my dad and I stood at the top of the ailse, I remember just saying “wow” – and then it hit…I saw a family friend who was crying and the enormity of the situation hit me.  I held back tears (ugly face) the whole way down the aisle.  I kept fighting them back through the whole ceremony and almost lost it at the vows but held my ground.

After the ceremony I completely relaxed – it was like “this is awesome lets go party with all of our friends”.  Just as everyone says – the day goes so quickly and to be totally honest if you told me now that the whole thing was a dream I would believe you.  For me with was just a blur of perfection – 1 day out of thousands I will spend with my new husband – almost too good to be true or to have really happened.

I still have a hard time believing I am a wife!  On our honeymoon it started to sink in but still to this day I love saying “Husband” or “Wife” because it still feels new and exciting!

Post # 12
Member
4109 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

I thought I’d be a nervous wreck, but the whole day I was surprisingly super calm and collected. Meanwhile, my mother was a wreck. I relaxed, took my time getting ready, & had a few glasses of wine before the ceremony. I was pretty surprised at how collected I was when things went wrong early on- like the flowers weren’t ordered correctly, I forgot my strap for my dress & had to have my brother drive 2 hours to go get it, my cake toppers never showed up on my cake during dinner, etc., but I handled it like a pro πŸ™‚ I just kept thinking about the honeymoon & how ready I was for this wedding to be over with. I was ready to be married already!

Post # 13
Member
778 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Great thread! I’ve really enjoyed reading these!

We had a pretty small, laid-back wedding. Lots of DIY stuff during the weekend: self-catered rehearsal dinner on the back porch; my bridesmaids and I did all the flowers; my SIL baked our cake, etc. So aside from feeling just a bit pressed for time the couple hours before the ceremony, it was just a really wonderful, relaxed, happy experience. I promised myself I wouldn’t get swept up in trivial details, and concentrated on just savoring every moment.

We actually did our photos before the ceremony so that we could go straight to partying afterwards, and the moments before “the big reveal” and then again right before walking down the aisle were wild. Up until then I’d been excited but in a sort of calm, peaceful way. But at a couple of moments the excitement and happiness were just overwhelming. I was actually shaking quite a bit. And after the ceremony several people told us that they kept feeling like they were going to cry, but Darling Husband and I were beaming at each other so happily that we kept the tears at bay :-). (Not for my little brother though–apparently he bawled the whole time.)

Basically, in my experience: the happiest, most exciting day ever, punctuated by bursts of feeling so intense they were almost painful.

Post # 14
Member
656 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

It was incredible. I woke up feeling refreshed and happy and ready. And glad that I had planned so much to make the day a little easier. I made a cognisant effort to not worry about anything that day, and It made it all a lot easier. I was just calm and ready. 

It’s an amazing day because it’s never going to happen ever again, and I just wanted to let myself experience it without overanalyzing or anything. When my dad came in I practically bawled my eyes out. He raised me and cared for me and he walked me down the aisle to my husband, the next man to care for me and love me. We didn’t say much to each other, but our eyes said a lot. I held my dad’s hand down the aisle and it felt so much more natural than being arm-in-arm.

The doors opened and it was the first time I got to see the space all put together. I couldn’t stop smiling. My husband and I didn’t see each other before I walked down the aisle, and it was full of so many emotions. I was walking towards the man I love and my future with him, towards a life changing moment, and I was surrounded by everyone that I loved. It was so, so beautiful. I wasn’t nervous, just beyond elated to be in that moment with everyone. 

It’s a little awkward to stand there in front of our pastor while he just talks to us about marriage in front of everyone, not going to lie. But his words soaked in and were so true and beautiful. It was special because he is a huge part of our lives (his mentor, my youth pastor who baptized me). I think I almost passed out during our vows I was so excited and emotional. It was surreal. The moment I planned for 1.5 years actually happened, and it was amazing. And I was super excited for my wedding band! He didn’t know to put it on slowly so he basically put it on and held my hand lol. And when they announced us as husband and wife, it was the loudest cheer I’ve ever heard at any wedding! It was so great to hear how many people were so supportive and loving in our lives. 

We did a faux get away in a 1920s Packard convertable, and that was probably my favorite moment of the day. After the ceremony, getting to go out tool around town and spend time after the ceremony with just my husband was so worth it. I loved every second of that. We just drove around the block, but we got to talk and hear people honk their horns at us and smile and wave and it was awesome!

The reception was a huge party and I loved seeing everyone’s smiling faces. I love entertaining people, so it was great to see that our reception was so much fun. The food was great, the cake was beautiful, and we danced the night away. I’ve never seen a wedding dance floor that full, our DJ did a great job! When the time came we changed into our getaway clothes and left.  It was hard to leave that moment and that space, but I was so excited for our honeymoon! It was literally all I thought about. If you need something to get you through the day, just think – after this, a vacation with my husband!

Post # 15
Member
204 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

It was amazing!

The first part of the day I was really emotional, super exhausted, and still pretty stressed.  I had stayed up until 3 a.m. in the bathroom so I wouldn’t wake up my Maid/Matron of Honor.  I was frantically writing a list of all the things that I needed someone to know after the wedding started and I wasn’t around to run the show.  I went to my bridal brunch and seriously just started crying.  I was so tired and worn out and also so happy to see all my girlfriends and my family.  I didn’t feel like a bride at all until later in the day.  I was getting my hair done in the bride’s room of our facility and everyone else left to go get their dresses, etc.  It was exactly what I needed.  It gave me time to just watch them do my hair and realize it was my wedding day.  No one was around to give directions to, so I finally had to mentally pass the wedding off to my coordinator, family, etc.  

After I put on my dress and saw the picture, i couldn’t believe that was actually me in the mirror!  I was very calm and so ready to marry my Darling Husband.  Even when the wedding coordinator told me there was a chance of rain right around our ceremony time, I didn’t care; even if i walked down the aisle in pouring rain, I was marrying my best friend and the man I had waited 29 years to find!

We had a first look, which was fun.  It was a sweet, sweet time.  We thought doing a first look would take away from seeing each other as I walked down the aisle, but it was way more emotional when it was the real deal.  Heavenly Day by Patty Griffin started playing, and my parents were on each side of me.  It was a sweet moment walking down the curved aisle before anyone could see us.  And, then, I saw him.  And he saw me.  And nothing else in the world existed.  He wiped a couple of tears off, while I beamed from ear to ear.  I seriously just wanted to run so I could get to him faster.  The wedding ceremony was so surreal.  It was like I was watching us get married.  I purposefully looked around a few times, so I could remember exactly what it was like to be there.  Hearing my brother pronounce us man and wife, just felt so natural and right.  After a few pictures, we got a few minutes alone while our guests were enjoying cocktail hour.  I love those first few minutes of being married.  The reception was a whirlwind of talking to friends and family, taking pictures, and reveling in how glad we were that we had done this, even though for months before I had been saying I wish we had eloped.  

Even on our honeymoon, it didn’t seem entirely “real” that we were married though.  I think it’s like an amazing pair of shoes: They’re exactly what you’ve always wanted and you love to wear them, but it takes a while before they feel natural on your own feet.  Five months in and it seems like we’ve been married forever.  I don’t know exactly when it began to fit and feel natural, but it sure does.  

I wish you a wedding day (and marriage) as happy as mine was and is!

Post # 16
Member
822 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

It became real for me when we had the rehearsal the day before.  I was so nervous that everyone commented that on the real day I need to remember to smile.

On the day I was so nervous until I saw my Darling Husband at the end of the aisle and then it was fine!  My Mother-In-Law came out to see me when I got out the car before going into the church and I am so glad she did – it helped a lot!

Also I was a little nervous at first standing up the front of the church (we got married in a huge cathedral) but then when I looked out where everyone was sitting it hit home that everyone there loves us, it was our family and friends and they were there for us and from then on it was fine!

The day went super fast and I was sort of expecting it to be like being in a dream all day but it honestly wasn’t.  I throughly enjoyed every minute of it.

I was more dazed the day I got propsed to, I was in a daze for the rest of that day!

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