(Closed) What is it that certain women see in some men??

posted 5 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
3170 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Some people don’t think it’s a big deal. Maybe she smokes too and you just don’t know it? His past is his past and doesn’t make him a bad person. Unless he abuses her (emotionally, physically, any other way) why does him being a felon make him a bad husband?

I get what you are saying but just because someone did things in their past doesn’t mean that they can’t change. I doubt he is an amazing husband because of the weed but maybe it is just something she looks past because it isn’t a huge deal for her.

I don’t understand the women that end up married to men who talk down to them. Unless the mean just sweet talk their women until they are married and then change. Who knows.

Post # 4
Member
5965 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2018

Maybe she loves him…and as awful and narcissistic as he appears to you and your Fiance, people just aren’t as simple as that…they’re multifaceted, and different people, bring out different things from within them.  He certainly has a troubled past, but has anything troubling happened since he’s been married?  Maybe this woman makes him want to be a better man, and if she’s as lovely as you say, perhaps her loving and generous nature is rewarded greatly by serving as a boon to such a tormented person….

I guess my point is, you can take someone’s inventory all day long, you still won’t know half as much about them as you think you do, until you’ve seen them in the eyes of someone that truly loves them, for what they are, what they’ve overcome and what they will be….

Post # 5
Member
8461 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

@YogaFaerie:  I think the same thing all the time!  I have a friend who is sweet, smart, pretty, independent…the works.  Yet she keeps dating these a**holes who mistreat her, call her names, cheat on her, etc.  When I, or any of the other friends, bring it up to her she staunchly defends the guy.  It’s so frustrating!  In order to understand it, I started watching a show on netflix called prison wives.  It really brings up some interesting things about how people value different aspects of a relationship.

Post # 6
Member
3553 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I’ve got a friend, more of an aquaintance really, whose boyfriend is the biggest asshat I’ve ever met. I met them in college after they started dating. He was a Polisci major and the absolute definition of arrogant. You couldn’t disagree with his political opinions or like anything he thought was stupid, which was most things. Admittedly this girl is a huge ditz (had to ask if Bruce Wayne is Batman during the Dark Knight) but she also graduated with a degree in biomedical engineering. She says dumb stuff a lot and he goes. off. on her in front of the whole group and belittles her often. She always just laughs it off, but I have a hard time believing that it doesn’t bother her. Then again the rest of the friend group (I was introduced after it had already formed) tends to treat her that way. Not like belittling her so much as being like ‘oh B always says the silliest things’ so maybe she just thinks that is how she is supposed to be treated. It makes me kinda sad thinking about it.

Post # 9
Member
5965 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2018

@YogaFaerie:  Mr. 99 falls into the “Hard to Love” category, unless you happen to be me…sure on the outside he’s a gruff, surly customer with a firey disposition and the mouth of an 18th century sailor…underneath all of that is the kindest, gentlest, sweetest and lovliest man I’ve ever known….something about me, brings that out in him…it doesn’t work with anyone else…so criminal past aside (because he doesn’t have one, or do drugs) , I know what it’s like to be the Beauty to an honest to god Beast.

Post # 10
Member
1719 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I’ve dated losers before.  In my own experience, delusion and deception was definitely involved.  I believe that all I needed was his “love”; and, I was always defending the ex which made him look better than what he actually is.  In the end, I was glad to be able to get out of that mess – unscathed, no less. 

I’m sure her family knows or has opinions about your Future Brother-In-Law.  I think a lot of people turn a blind eye and believe it isn’t their business to say anything about someone’s relationship.  Well, if it looks like a duck and walks like a duck…

Post # 12
Member
1719 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@YogaFaerie:  Darling Husband thinks I like to play Dr. Phil (lol) but I never say anything to the person unless they are my bffs or my sisters. 

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