Post # 1
So, I’ve already told you about the cousins & the aunt who threw a fit about Fiance & I not having kids at the wedding…
Tonight I come home to an RSVP from THE BEST MAN & his wife. It was obviously filled out by his incredibly annoying wife and despite them KNOWING we are not inviting any kids not in the wedding… despite the wording “We have reserved 2 seats for you…” AND despite Fiance SPECIFICALLY asking about them getting a babysitter… They wrote in this on the reply card: “GORGEOUS invitations and beautiful caligraphy! We know you are busy with every little detail, but you forgot Annie on the invitation as she WILL OF COURSE be joining us—it wouldn’t be a wedding without her!” (capitalization is theirs)
Whaaaaaat? I am waiting for Fiance to get home now because if I call these people it will not be pretty. Hopefully, he can be diplomatic about it because as much as I love Best Man, I cannot stand his wife and I just might go off on her.
Post # 3
@tootietoo2: Wow, how incredibly obnoxious and entitled. It “won’t be a wedding” without their kid? One wonders how they/she came to that conclusion!
Sheesh, I don’t envy you being in this situation but DO please update.
Post # 4
Wow, thats ballsy of her. I wouldn’t handle that well.
Post # 5
OMG! I really, really hope your man lays down the law here. That’s ridiculous and rude! Get a damn sitter, the child isn’t invited! I’m not sure why people get so weird about that kind of thing. It’s your wedding, you are inviting adults only – saying that ‘it wouldn’t be a wedding without her’ is pretty ballsy – maybe you feel the complete opposite! Geez
Post # 6
WOW! My jaw just dropped when I read that! That is the height of RUDENESS! I don’t know the specifics of your wedding (i.e. if it’s out of town and would requre them to leave their child overnight or anything like that) but to put that response on the RSVP card is just tacky. Plain and simple. It’s your husband’s best man, the least the annoying wife could do would be to pick up the phone and call you, explain any extenuating circumstances and ask if there was any possibility of their child attending.
Wow, I am just astounded at the rudeness of people. I don’t even have any advice to offer you – I just wanted to let you know that I am shocked and appalled at that response!
Post # 7
I’d let her know, quite clearly, that NO kids were allowed, NO exceptions and little Annie could make someone else’s wedding “a wedding”, since random children are an integral part of the ceremony, who needs the bride and groom as long as Annie is there!
Geez. Sounds like a real fun person.
Post # 7
I’m with @CaitMarae, I wouldn’t handle that well at all. I would most definitely be handing that one off to my Fiance, since it’s his best man, if I were in your situation. If they knew their daughter wasn’t invited, and they obviously did, why in the world would she have written such a comment?!
On the plus side, you got a compliment on your invites! 😉
Post # 8
Um, RUDE! I don’t even know what to say to that, why is it that some people think the world revolves around THEIR kids? We are not having kids either and the FH is going to make some very specific phone calls about it when the invites go out.
Post # 9
What the WHAT?!?! I have no words… That is just so rude… Does she really think that pleasant little note is going to make you change your mind about inviting their daughter? Gah! Good idea with letting your Fiance handle this one because I would be livid.
Post # 10
Well I am glad to know that I am not the only one who finds this incredibly rude!
@Ree723 They live about 15 minutes from the church and 30 minutes from the reception. Granted, Best Man’s mom & sister will also be in attendance at our wedding as Fiance is very close to their family, but the annoying wife has a mother who lives down the street from them & is not invited to our wedding so why can’t she or another person babysit?
I think that they might feel she should be there because the daughter is FI’s goddaughter, or maybe because Best Man’s mother is actually our officiant. Maybe they want their daughter to see her perform a wedding?
Any way I slice it, I find it terribly obnoxious and cannot wait for Fiance to tell me his thoughts.
Post # 11
Right now I am pissed off for you! How could she have mustered up the nerve to write that?! If your guy is a softie, take over and call them yourself, but give it a day or two to calm down.
Post # 12
Wtf, I would be soooooo annoyed!! Let us know what happens!
Post # 13
You know what? Just call the groomsman, be pleasant, make small talk and then mention you received their RSVP and that you’re very sorry that there was a misunderstanding, but children aren’t invited to the wedding.
Any protests or pleas for an exception should be met with a calm and firm, “I’m sorry, that just won’t be possible.”
Don’t get drawn into defending or debating your decision. If she threatens not to come just reply that she will be missed (even though she clearly wouldn’t be!)
Post # 14
SO Rude! Who does that!
@lisa105: I think thats really good advice. Just be civilized since you’ve had some time to calm down and try to politely tell them about the no kids.
Post # 15
Seriously?? That is SOO rude! Man, I would definitely be furious especially since you were so clear.
From this point out, I say definitely stay strong and be firm, but also kill her with kindness, be sweet as pie – it will give her less ammo to work with if she’s really the kind of person she sounds like in her response to you.
Throw it all in there, the reasons you don’t want kids there (sorry I haven’t read your other posts), but whatever they are – the timing of the ceremony/reception being to late/long, it’s not a child friendly venue, that in a perfect world it would be wonderful to have Annie there, but….. it won’t be fair since everyone else will be making arrangements, offer babysitter referals, etc.
As nice as it would be to have your Fiance convey the information, it might work better if you could put on a good face and speak with her directly. The absoluteness of it all might get lost in translation between her guy and yours – if that’s not a possibility, that’s fine, but just an idea.