(Closed) What is more important? The ring or the proposal?

posted 8 years ago in Rings
  • poll: What is more important to you, the ring or the proposal?

    Amazing ring

    Elaborate proposal

  • Post # 17
    464 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 1993

    If both were on the table in front of me with exact dollar amounts and it was my fabulous hubs giving me the choice I would probably choose the ring.  I would choose it because I would want a lot of thought to go into the proposal and it to be something that is special to our relationship and that does not cost a lot of money.  A ring is an investment into our future and I would be looking at it forever and I would want that to be a wise, budget-conscious decision.  I think a  lot of engagements are delayed (and I am thinking of two in particular that happened in my famlly) because so much pressure is put on young men to make the proposal some over the top affair and frankly, their brains just don’t work like that.  I would much rather be engaged and move on with the wedding planning and enjoy our lives together.

    Post # 18
    1276 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2002

    I didn’t get an elaborate proposal or elaborate ring, just sweet and simple…down on his knee with red roses and a solitaire he picked out.  It was the best day ever. 🙂

    Post # 19
    6515 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: September 2013

    @MrsGo:  Neither.

    the fact that he asked me to be his wife on his own. He went shopping for a ring for about 6 or 8 months. Planned the sweetest proposal all by himself. 

    I an shocked that so many  people think the ring is more important. The ring is just an added bonus. If he would have given me no ring at all…I still would have said yes bc irs not about the ring

    Post # 20
    681 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: March 2013

    Give me a tin ring and lousy proposal and I’m happy so long as the man is wonderful

    Post # 21
    3460 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2015

    I think both are important, but I think people have unrealistic expectations about the proposal. As long as it is sweet and heartfelt thats all I care about. I don’t even care about the wedding itelf I just want to be married! Marriage is the most important thing to me

    Post # 22
    2836 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    @MrsGo:  I don’t know if I can choose either one of those.  The ring and the proposal are two of the main components of getting engaged, but ultimately, those aren’t what matter.  What I want- is knowing that the intent of the man who is proposing with this ring- is the best that he can be.  That he will be my partner for life, and always keep our best interesting in mind.  I have a ring I adore, and had a sweet, at home proposal, which I wouldn’t have wanted any other way. 

    I will also say that my ring- the diamond is a VVS1, J color (I LOVE warmth!), GIA triple X–is high quality, and didn’t cost an arm and a leg.  Granted, I didn’t want a large diamond (not my thing)- it’s .5 carats.  

    But what I am trying to say is— it sort of seems like this post is about where to spend the money?  And that seems a bit ridiculous.  I’d start to wonder if my Fiance had his head on straight if he whisk me off to Europe for the weekend (obviously, it’s expensive)- and bought a low quality (likely overpriced @ a mall store) ring.  If you have the money for Europe, you might want to reconsider what’s going on my finger, even if it’s small.  

    Post # 23
    721 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    View original reply
    @AlwaysSunny:  agreed. the significant other comes waaaaaay before anything else. as long as its the right one, i could care less about the proposal and ring

    Post # 24
    3827 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    View original reply
    @MrsGo:  then i couldnt pick. If my husband had given me some gigantic ring and a public proposal which would be completely not me or us AT ALL then i would be wondering if he even knew me in the first place.  So as long as he put thought into both then i would be happy. 

    And i love both my ring and the way he asked me. 

    Post # 25
    6734 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2014

    Why is both not an option? lol My Fiance put years of thought into my ring and planned a very romantic proposal. I wouldn’t want it any other way. I feel like I deserve that amount of thought and planning – I would do the same if the tables were turned.

    Post # 26
    1156 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    @MrsGo:  I didn;t vote in the poll.  For me I would have to say neither.  The man who asked for my hand is most important.

    But…..if I had to choose I would say the proposal. 

    Post # 27
    1219 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    View original reply
    @housebee:  My SO had planned to propose to me over dinner during a weekend away. The dinner in the hotel was so awful he couldn’t bring himself to do it! It turned out well in the end as it was on a deserted beach at sunset and just perfect. Thie bee certainly didn’t have a full stomach though 🙂

    Post # 28
    279 posts
    Helper bee

    The ring is more important to me. I would not want an elaborate proposal AT ALL. I am kind of shy and hate surprises and would feel uncomfortable with a big, public proposal. A low key proposal with just the 2 of us at home is perfect for me. 

    I didn’t care if he spent a lot of money on my ring, or how big the diamonds are, but I had to have a style I loved, and at least decent quality. Since my engagement ring and wedding band are by far the most important jewellery I will ever have, and the only things I will be wearing every day for the rest of my life, it was quite important to me. I also work in a jewellery store so that probably made me more picky.

    Post # 29
    7547 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: January 2013

    View original reply
    @MrsGo:  I don’t doubt it! I just felt like I had to say it Laughing

    Post # 30
    14155 posts
    Honey Beekeeper

    Over the top proposals never were my style, so if anyone  staged something worthy of YouTube, I’d probably think he didn’t really know me all that well. I admit, I’d also have been disappointed if it happened when I was home sick in my bathrobe.  

    I hate to say ring since it’s the thought and feeling behind any proposal that is most important.  But if we are talking just the $$$ spent  and the sentiment  were the same, then I’d much rather spend on the ring, which has symbolism, value,  and will last forever.

    Post # 31
    5183 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: February 2013

    I didn’t get either one and wouldn’t have cared anyway. DH is not the gushy type so there was no way I’d ever expect an elaborate proposal from him and a ring was out of the budget when he proposed (at home, blurted it out in the middle of a casual conversation). I married the man I love. The story of our relationship is much more meaningful than the story of how he asked me to marry him.

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