(Closed) What is one thing you didn't need at your wedding?

posted 3 years ago in Reception
Post # 31
105 posts
Blushing bee

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bluecutie00 :  I saw your list below and was just wondering how you handled #7. I get it in theory, but surely vendors ask what sort of event? Do you evade “just an event” or outright lie “this is a birthday party”? You’d think a venue or a photographer or a DJ would figure it out after a few meetings & exchanges. Do they feel duped on the day of the event? Or do you not mention wedding when asking for quotes and tell them after the deposit is paid? Just wondering details on this.

“#7. Don’t say the word wedding: when meeting with wedding vendors or booking your honeymoon, do not mention the word wedding unless you really want to pay a surcharge.” 

Post # 32
921 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

Were not doing favors, total waste of money only things that are worth anything are edibles and I think after a cocktail reception with food, 3 course seated formal dinner and dessert we have provided enough edibles.

I have been to over 30 weddings and every single one the bride/groom said they had more than half left at venue and it was a total waste of money.

For centerpieces me and my dads gf are buying tons of babys breath wholesale and buying pretty vases.. going to be beautiful and SO much cheaper than my florists doing it.. we have a lot of tables so doing nice centerpieces would cost an absurd amount.

I am paying up the butt for my an girls bouquets but to me thats worth it for the pics and to have day off.

DJ – we got cheapest one of our preffered vendors list on our venue, he is trusted and great reviews what else do we need.

Post # 33
369 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2016

I think favors are important because it shows appreciation.  I personally think real flowers are a waste of money.  We did silk flowers and spent maybe $150.  I can’t imagine ever spending thousands on flowers. 

Post # 34
29 posts
  • Wedding: June 2016

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bluegreyeyes :  

my sister did this at her wedding. She didn’t tell the vendors what the event was, she just said what items/services she needed. Like when ordering her cake she just ordered a two tier white cake with flowers, never told the bakery what it was for. She paid like $100 for it, but someone else she knew bought their cake from the same place, told them she wanted a wedding cake, and paid $500 for a very similar looking cake.

I know my sister only did this with items she was buying and picking up though. I don’t know how this would work with a photographer, DJ, etc. as you said, they would figure it out easily enough. 

Post # 35
863 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

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taywerx13 :  

I didn’t have a cake (delicious dessert included in menu already), I didn’t have take away gifts, and I only put flowers at the head table and sign in table (one rose and vase per guest table included in plan). The bridesmaides had bouquets, but I made myself a brooch bouquet, and the guys had real touch faux flowers on their lapels. I got the flowers for a couple hundred dollars from Whole Foods. I didn’t need a car because there was a hotel next door, so we got ready there (different rooms). I did my own hair and make up (with practice watching YouTube videos). I splurged in other areas. It turned out great. 

Post # 36
99 posts
Worker bee

Some of the things that we’re doing to save: 

– no cake – there’s already a served dessert!
– our own floral centrepieces from a wholesaler 
– no videographer 
– DIY invations/save the dates (I know some basic graphic design)
– wedding website for RSVPs instead of RSVp cards 

Post # 37
622 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

I think it’s interesting how many people would skip favors and say that they get thrown away anyway.  Maybe it depends on the quality of the favors?  My Maid/Matron of Honor and I made jars of homemade apple butter for each guest (October wedding) and were only left with about 3 out of 60.  Maybe the uptake wouldn’t have been as good with Jordan almonds in a box or whatever.

Edited Images-0103

Post # 38
3467 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

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jess9090 :  Amen. We did not invite a single person who we would not have taken out for a $100 dinner on another occasion.

Post # 39
4038 posts
Honey bee

My mother in law.

Not kidding. She sat there with a scowl on her face all night and sucked the joy out of everyone around her. Even when she was in posed/group photos, no one saw her teeth (in a smile).

I should have seen that as an omen.

Post # 40
2625 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

Here are some of the simple things we did to save money:

-No Favors

-All DIY Decor (including the centerpieces- which we used fake flowers for)

-No DJ- We did our own playlist

-Cupcakes instead of a big cake

-Trim down the Guest List!

-Made our own invitations

-Cheaper clothing (My dress was less than $150.  But even if you spend a lot on the dress, cut back on what you pay for accessories (hair, jewlery, shoes, veil, etc)

Post # 41
5280 posts
Bee Keeper

Haven’t had my wedding yet but based from other weddings I’ve attended, menu cards and programs for sure. Most of all programs are left untouched from the basket it sits on and the menu cards are just left scattered on the table. I am one of the few who keeps them from every wedding I attended along with the invitation and STD’s.

What I think is a total waste are those personalized monogram napkins that couples order and buy. I doubt if half the guests even realize the napkins they’re using to wipe their mouth or blow their nose with had the couple’s initials and wedding date on it.

Post # 42
192 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: February 2018

I really wanted to cut out favors but my Fiance was adament that is something that we have to have so we are making little mason jar candles for everyone. They travel well, are less then $2ea, and is actually somewhat useful to the person recieving it. 

Some things we do NOT need:

– Wedding shoes (at least not designer ones) I’m either using a pair I already own or getting some cheap ones just for pictures and the ceremony because they give you better posture. For the reception i’m switching into my white Converse. 

– Cake, our menu includes dessert so we’re just getting a small cake from the grocery store the day of for pictures. 

– Bridesmaids bouquets, they’re all getting baby’s breath which costs $20ea instead of a full bouget for $85. 

– Limo, we’re getting married in the city and our photographer is not staying for a send off shoot so we’re just going to get an uber home.

– 2nd photographer, I thought it was a must have to have a 2nd shooter but the photographer that I’m most likely going to hire told me that unless you have more than 150 people it’s really not necessary to have a 2nd person unless you want to do getting ready photos for the bride and groom. 

– Menu cards, it’s not like they have much of a choice on what they’re eating anyway. The waiter at each table will introduce themselves to the table and let them know what the selections are for that night.

– Ceremony programs, majority of them end up in the trash and I don’t want people looking at them trying to figure out how much longer they have to sit there.

– Escourt cards, we’re having them but you can cut down on how many you need by doing Mr. and Mrs. X on one card instead of individual cards. 

Post # 43
1914 posts
Buzzing bee

My first wedding was super small. The actual wedding was around $5K. Here’s how we did it:

1. Only invited close family and friends that we see on a regular basis. (Total came out to around 36, including us).

2. Kept the wedding party small.

3. Got married in a hotel court that already had fountains and flowers and provided chairs and a mic stand.

4. Had dinner at the hotel after the ceremony, catered by the hotel.

5. Used the same lanterns that lined the aisle as centerpieces for the tables.

6. SIL made the cake and cupcakes.

7. We printed our own invitiations.

8. No dj, and initially no dance floor. Was just going to be a dinner reception since Mother-In-Law would be having a party for us at a local park the following day where more people could come say their well wishes (and we played wiffle ball). But, the hotel upped our room to their medium sized room and gave us a free dance floor for being an easy bride. What I’m getting at – it kept the bar tab LOW.

9. My Maid/Matron of Honor and I made a Just Married sign, and kept the rest of the decor to the hotel’s standard package.

10. A girlfriend from work purchased and make the bouquets and bouts.

It was a very nice wedding and suited us as a couple, but I will not be able to get away with quite all of that the next time around. The next wedding will be a much larger affair, and I will not make the mistake of scimping on the photographer.

Post # 44
134 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

We are doing all artificial flowers that we catch 50% off at Hobby Lobby.

No favors

No dancing

No alcohol (we both come from very religious families that don’t drink, so this isn’t a big deal to anyone).

The cake is coming from a lady we know personally who bakes cakes on the side.

I got my shoes for $15 at RackRoom

Our ceremony starts at 2:30, so we are just doing finger foods. No need for large meals and caterers.

Invites are coming from Vistaprint. You can catch their 40-50% off sales and get invites for really cheap.

No need for crazy centerpieces. I found a lot of mine at goodwill and the peddler’s mall. They fit our shabby chic theme really well!

Post # 45
846 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

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taywerx13 :  

The things that were/are worth the money to us: a live band at the reception, good photographer, open bar. Also make sure you feed your guests, but shop around for this. We ended up with a company that was pretty new and did not inflate prices just because of the word “wedding”.

We didn’t have a wedding cake. To us, this was just extravagant. Instead, friends got together and we made cupcakes. I also made (with some help from my Mom and DH) the place cards, center pieces, favours, invitations, etc. Took some time and a bit of money for supplies but added a really personal touch, and a lot of the bit and pieces were found at the Dollar Store! We decided not to invite children to the wedding. We had our wedding in my Mom’s lovely garden, so we didn’t have to fill the place with flowers, but we got flowers for the tables and bouquets. We had a live band at the reception – great for dancing. For ceremony/cocktail hour we chose recorded music (DH made an awesome playlist for the cocktail hour).

My advice is shop around, and if you enjoy DIY, do it. Even when you keep it simple, cost seems to add up – good on you for thinking outside the box! 🙂


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