What is one thing you wish you would have known about being a mom beforehand?

posted 1 month ago in Babies
Post # 31
Member
497 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

That even an easy baby doesn’t mean an easy transition to motherhood. My son was super laid back, very happy, literally didn’t cry except for food. I still think I had PPD (not dianosed), I found everything very overwhelming, especially when he hit a sleep regression at 3 months and didn’t come out of it until we sleep trained at 5. He didn’t nap longer than half an hour for 3.5 months. Not all newborns sleep all day haha. 

That being home ‘alone’ with a baby all day is very isolating. Also that it is much harder to spend time with friends who also have babies than expected. Everyone’s baby is on a slightly different schedule, and then someone’s kids get sick, etc etc 

He is 16 months now, and I’m pregnant with #2. I don’t look forward to the newborn stage again, but I love having a toddler (for now!) and I think it will be easier knowing it doesn’t last forever 

Post # 32
Member
1105 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

LilliV :  I never offended anyone because my nipples don’t function properly 🤣 I never imagined how much we’d talk about nipples after having a baby. It’s excessive and I don’t even Boyfriend or Best Friend.

Post # 33
Member
412 posts
Helper bee

Yesss. I found the 8-10 month stage really hard. Harder than the newborn stage in some ways. As trying as the newborn stage is, most newborns aren’t awake longer than 45 min at a time. Then they get older and are awake for 3-4 hr chunks and need constant interaction and attention during those wake cycles, which can frankly get tedious AF. Then there’s the chaos and constant danger that mobility without appreciation for gravity brings! Then add in needing to give them 3 meals a day of nutritious solid food plus still nursing as often as ever and 🤯🤯🤯🤯.   Kslim13 :  

Post # 34
Member
559 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2019

Thanks for the feedback, y’all. I’d be lying if I said that the sleep part isn’t what makes me the most nervous about having a kid. I’m a homebody with a great spouse who already does more than me around the house, so most of what’s been said (loss of freedom, lack of help) doesn’t necessarily freak me out, but man…I don’t do well without sleep. I read Bringing up Bebe, and it gave me some hope that there’s actual science behind the sleep of healthy infants and that you can help facilitate it, but again…that’s the scariest part. I don’t have much anxiety about birthing options or feeding choices (I have my ideas of course, but I also know that there’s often only so much you can do and that plan B for whatever my personal goals are are just fine), or work (I’m a 9-5er who clocks out and leaves, I don’t have huge ambition there), or anything else…just sleep. 

Post # 35
Member
5268 posts
Bee Keeper

LilliV :  This was me as well! Breastfeeding did not come easily and I found it to be super challenging and really made me feel like crap for the first few months. 

If I ever have another baby i’m not going to kill myself with breastfeeding and pumping and all that. I started my son on formula at 8 months and he was fine. Honestly fed really is best. I know every baby is differnt but if i do end up having another I have a bunch of things I wont be repeating in the baby stage

 

Post # 37
Member
9977 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

Contractions don’t stop after labor.

Post # 38
Member
3541 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2015

slomotion :  What!?!?!  I guess that makes sense, but I’ve never heard that before.

Post # 39
Member
5268 posts
Bee Keeper

mittenmama :  I won’t be pumping that’s for sure I think I sent myself into depression worrying about if I had enough milk for him. Im for sure going to use formula next time. My son was also a crier and when he was first born we held him for legit a month straight. I don’t plan on doing that again I would want to put the  baby down on their own earlier as he got used to us holding him all the time (first baby you do what you need to to survive) I would also sleep train alot earler and in his own room and not have him sleep in my bed. I always said I would never do that but I did and thankfully my son was easy to break from that habit around 1.5 and sleeps alone in his room every night at 2.5. I also want to do baby LED weaning. Making purees was so annoying and messy lol 

I had alot of anxiety when my son was born because it was a new experience I feel I will be more relaxed the second time around as I know so much more now and have hands on experience

Post # 40
Member
8149 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

sweetchiquita12 :  the one thing I’ll do differently is ask for help with my mental health sooner. Breastfeeding was important to me but our struggles really hurt my mental health. I think quitting would have been worse for me and I eventually saw someone but I waited too long. I’m actually considering making the appointment with the social worker before I leave the hospital just to have that check in within a week or two of giving birth. 

slomotion :  and that the nurses beat the crap out of your uterus! That “massage” was terrible. My nurses were laughing with me because I was bitching more during the massage than I was during delivery! 

Post # 43
Member
9225 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

That it’s 1000% okay if you just don’t like (or even hate!) momming sometimes.

Post # 44
Member
5268 posts
Bee Keeper

LilliV :  That’s a really good idea. I’m pretty sure I had post partum dperession and waa in a dark place for awhile. That scares me the most about having another child but at least having a plan and knowing the signs will help in getting the support we need! 

 

mittenmama :  Glad to hear they both worked well for you! Def on my busket lsit for the next baby. hopefully they cooperate with my plans lol  I so wish I did both with my son but too late now and he sleeps fine and eats a ton so he is fine lol 

Post # 45
Member
2079 posts
Buzzing bee

I’m 16wks with my second– my son is almost a year old now so things I will be doing differently:

– sleep training sooner

– babywearing more. My son didn’t like it, and I didn’t force the issue but I want to try it with new baby

What no one told me or I didnt realize was just how terrified you become of something bad happening to your child. It is always in the back of your mind, wondering if they are ok. Always.

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