(Closed) What is one "wedding etiquette" you disagree with?

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 151
1829 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

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amanda1988 :  i had a small wedding made up of mostly family, i knew that family had no serious dieting or allergies, as far as the guests which probably only made up about 15 to 20 people, i would say my DH and i know our friends pretty well at this point. No one at our wedding had an issue, most if not all said the food was amazing (we had one of the best caterers in town). 

But again, i wouldnt cater my wedding menu around each and every guests allergies and food opinions, unless i knew a lot of people had issues. If you start to break it down, you would have to include an option for a sh*t ton of different allergies and preferences, and to be honest ill say again its expensive to start adding on extra food to a wedding menu. 

if you go to wedding knowing ahead of time that you are a strict dieter or have strict allergies, i think it would be in the guests best interest to know ahead of time they should have an early dinner, etc. Instead of rolling up to a wedding and being dismayed at the fact that they didnt cater to your vegan friendly, gluten free, religious diet restrictions. 

this could be a never ending argument…

Post # 152
326 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

I have to weigh in on this veggie/vegan wedding thing.

It goes against my beliefs to spend thousands of pounds on meat & dairy products for my wedding. Fiance and I are both vegan. We will be having a vegan wedding.

We have planned our menu very carefully to make sure it is tasty and filling. Not a salad in sight. Our parents all eat meat, we took them to our tasting and asked for honest feedback – they loved the food. We are serving canapes, a three course meal, cake and night time food for our evening guests. We were all full after the meal and we had shared each course.

In my view, being vegan is a moral/ethical standpoint and, although not the same, should be treated with the same respect as religious beliefs & dietary requirements (ie no pork etc). I think it is incredibly close minded for people to think that they will wither away without meat/dairy for one meal in their whole lives. People make it sound as though they have never eaten rice…potatoes…veggies? Really? Do you exist purely on meat and cheese? I doubt it. In my mind it is more rude for guests to expect the bride & groom to go against their moral beliefs

I went to a wedding last year where we were asked for our dietary requirements as part of the RSVP. Our meal option was stale bread buns and two tiny veg kebabs. We were both starving and had not been warned beforehand that this would be the case – I would have brought some snacks to keep us both going throughout the day. In my mind, failing to provide a meal that each guest can eat is significantly worse than the apparent “effort” of providing a menu/meals which cater to individual dietary requirements.

Post # 153
2467 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2015 - St Peter\'s Church, East Maitland, and Bella Vista, Newcastle

If I had had vegan guests, I would have ensured there was a good vegan meal for them, just like I ensured that there was a gluten-free meal available for my full-blown coeliac bridesmaid.  If it’s a “fad” thing, like only eating lettuce leaves which have been picked in the light of the full moon, no way.  But a legitimate food choice (veganism/vegetarianism) or honest to god medical condition like coeliac disease, absolutely – it would be incredibly inhospitable of me not to cater for that.  We had one guest who doesn’t eat red meat or seafood, so we made sure there was chicken on the menu to cater for her.  One tier of the cake was gluten free so my bridesmaid could eat it too.  It’s not that hard, really!

Post # 154
125 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2018

The who-pays-for-what tradtion. My parents and FI’s parents are more or less splitting the costs, with my parent’s paying a little bit more becuase they feel the need to be traditional in that “the brides family pays”. They were pissed off when FI’s parents offered to pay more. His parents have a huge family that we have to invite and make a decent living and just have the money laying around, so if they want to help pay more for their huge family, why not let them? We have a decent budget, but with the amount of people we have to invite and where we are located in the country, it seems much smaller when you start putting things together. Both sets of parents are absolutely adament that we don’t spend any of our own money which is super annoying because they aren’t budgeting for things that are super important for us, we can afford to spend some, and they won’t let his family chip in more. Annoying -__-


Post # 155
175 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

The stigma of the dreaded cash bar. Luckily, FI’s family owns bars in his hometown so they understand that alcohol ain’t cheap.

The tradition of an engagement party, bridal shower, etc. I don’t have the time/$$ for these things but FI’s mom is giving me the side eye for choosing not to have either one.

Expecting money as a gift. In Asian culture money is the gift for just about any celebration (baby shower, graduation, etc.)

Post # 156
175 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

… and I just realized I obviously posted more than one tradition, oops!

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