So this might be tmi, but I was my fiance’s first, so I had to help him out a bit and can probably give you some tips to gently guide your husband in the direction that feels best for you. Before you do that, it’s important to know what feels good for you. So take your time and explore your own body (long bubble baths are nice).
Now, if you want to show him an angle that works, don’t wait until you’ve started having full on sex. During foreplay have him use his fingers then guide him with either your hand or your words to where it feels good. And tell him that that angle or that spot feels the best. For me, the front is most sensitive, so when using hands that means curling fingers in, but during sex it means I like having my fiance behind me because it mimics the same angle.
Try to frame things by saying something like “I really like X”, not “it is better when you do X”. This way you’re describing your preferences and not commenting directly on him.
Also, when you’re more aroused, your cervix moves higher up and your body is more relaxed. This makes you ‘looser’. Even with larger guys, when I’m more aroused I don’t feel it as much as when I’m not as turned on. One trick would be having you and Darling Husband lie down on your sides and spoon with Darling Husband behind you. From that angle you can press your thighs together and ‘tighten’ things up which feels nice for both of you. This also gives both of you enough space to touch other parts of your body. Also cowgirl (you on top) is really nice because it allows you to take your time and play with the angle of your hips. A lot of guys start off with just in and out movements which really aren’t that satisfying. Try drawing a figure 8 with your hips, that stimulates much more of your body.
And make sure that you’re not ignoring other parts of your body. For example, try kissing/touching all over eachother just to see where the most sensitive parts of your body are. Use that in combination with piv sex and it should help.
I want to give you a quick example of how there is no right way for things to feel. I have a really close friend that I was talking to about this stuff and she mentioned that she’s never had an orgasm from piv sex. She can only have one through clitoral stimulation. For her piv sex feels nice, but not orgasmic at all. For me, if I’ve had an orgasm already, any contact on the clitoris because way too overstimulating and starts to almost hurt. But piv sex still feels really really good and enough for an orgasm. So just 2 people gives you a huge variety.
As for people not telling you about bad sex. They really just don’t want to talk about it. When I first started having sex it probably took 3-6 months to get to something that was really satisfying. And by at the time boyfriend and I had both been virgins, so things were just awkward in general. Even now with my current fiance, sometimes sex is just nice. It doesn’t have to blow your mind every time because it’s a really pleasant way to connect. (though it should blow your mind at least some of the time).
And if you’re looking for toys and lube, I’ve had great experiences with Good Vibes. They’re based in california, but also have an online store. They’ve got a huge variety of things and descriptions of what type of stimulation they’re good for.