(Closed) What is the BEST piece of dating advice you've ever heard?

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 31
Member
286 posts
Helper bee

I have to agree with the comments that if a guy wants to call you, he will. If he misses you, he’ll tell you. I love the quote, “If a man loves you, you’ll know it. If he doesn’t, you’ll be confused.”

Post # 32
Member
55 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: Dreams Resort and Spa, Puerto Aventuras, Mexico

When I first started dating my dad gave me the best piece of advice that I ever received, which my grandma had told him as a teenager and I definitely plan to tell my future kids: 

Always remember that even if you think you’re “just having fun”, dating is an extended interview for marriage. You’re interviewing your partner, finding out if you guys are compatible. You learn what you like in a partner and what drives you nuts, so that you can filter future applicants more efficiently. More importantly, though, you are interviewing yourself – you find out what kind of partner you are, and what your own “qualifications” are, as well as your shortcomings. Until you know this about yourself, you can’t know whether you’re with the person you should marry.

I shrugged it off at the time, but I found it coming back to my mind continuously throughout my dating life. It helps to put things in perspective, especially at the beginning and end of a relationship. 

Post # 33
Member
55 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: Dreams Resort and Spa, Puerto Aventuras, Mexico

View original reply
kerplunk00:  Your original post is fantastic advice. I spent so many years going after the guys that I thought I wanted. That’s my personality – if I want something I go get it. Unfortunately it landed me in a bunch of relationships that I was much more invested in than my partner was. I’d been single for a few months when my now-FI (a friend of 10 years before we started dating, we’d always been attracted to one another but were never single at the same time) texted me: “of all of the women I’ve met, you are by far the hardest to get out of my mind”. I tried to push him off, and he persisted for a few months until I gave in and agreed to date him, already knowing from his persistence that he was the one.

Post # 34
Member
5870 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

Embarassingly, the book “The Rules” is a major source of my dating philosophy.  The actual book is pretty dramatic, but I boiled it down to this:

1) Don’t chase guys.  Those who are interested will come to you.  This weeds out a lot of guys who would otherwise break your heart. 

2) With the interested guys, be a little bit hard to get.  Maintain your own life and committments and don’t make yourself avaialble ever day, let them contact you first, etc.  And definetly don’t sleep with them until you’ve been together for a while.

3) If a guy shows you through his actions he’s not interested, believe him and move on.

I read this book after a break up.  Shortly thereafter I met the man who became my DH.  I think it’s good advice for someone who’s primarily interested in having serious, committed relationships with nice guys.

Post # 35
Member
2543 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Don’t be hasty.

Post # 36
Member
33 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2016

don’t change who you are, if a guy doesn’t like you the way you are then he’s not worth your time!

Post # 37
Member
567 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I have to agree with all the “if he really like you, you’ll know” type of advice. If he’s giving you mixed messages, he’s not that into you. If you’re confused about how he feels, he’s not that into you. If you’re always the first to call or if you’re the one chasing him; he’s not that into you. If he wants sex but not a relationship,he’s not that into you. Actually that last one is important. Just because a guy has sex with you doesn’t mean he’s into you (no pun intended). He just likes to have sex.

Post # 38
Member
62 posts
Worker bee

Kerplunk00 that is the best advice I’ve heard too! Women shouldn’t be trying to figure out if someone likes them, or waiting for a man to ask for a date.  The right man will never leave you stressed because he will show interest!

Post # 39
Member
46 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Love is not enough. Love is the driving force behind seeking a relationship, and love is the inspiration to nurture it over time, but a happy, healthy, and long-lasting relationship must be built on four pillars:

1. Love

2. Compatibility (relationship goals, values, lifestyles)

3. Good character and relationship skills (+ no fatal flaws or untreated mental illnesses)

4. Ability to commit and willingness to stick to the commitment even when it’s difficult

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