(Closed) What is the deal? I don't see the problem here…

posted 5 years ago in Beehive
Post # 2
Member
3541 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2015

GypsieFlower:  Fiance kept stressing about wedding planning in the beginning. I finally told him “all u have to do is show up!  Relax!”  He’s excited about marrying me; that’s all I care about 🙂

Post # 3
Member
7905 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

When you’re excited about something, it’s nice to have your partner excited about it too. Plus, it is an event honoring the two of you, so you might hope that your groom is somewhat interested. 

I am incredibly lucky Darling Husband has been an active and enthusiastic partner in the wedding planning. He’s just a great partner in general. 

Post # 5
Member
944 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I loved planning our wedding. All I did was make sure he liked the colors and anything he and his groomsmen had to wear. I didn’t really leave the choices up to him but if he didn’t like something, I was more than happy to compromise on something he did like. I don’t think he would have liked being by my side planning every last detail. Just not his thing!

Post # 6
Member
83 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

Or you can have the opposite. My Fiance has been very vocal about the planning. I’m definitely the planner and organizer, but I involve his input. Sometimes we do not agree so we have to find compromises.<br /><br />Initially, I wanted to elope and he wanted the party. So we agreed to keep it small. Having a destination wedding helps 🙂

Post # 7
Member
3586 posts
Sugar bee

GypsieFlower:  So if you described our relationship it would be along the lines of… hey babe what do you want to eat….me idk and my Fiance ok lets go here…me no gross lets go here. Needless to say I’m goNna do what i want anyways and my Fiance knows this so he doesn’t care about picking colors and table decor.  I’ll occasionally ask his opinion on stuff and get his input when i want. My Fiance picked our cake topper which i was fine with. my Fiance is always working since he is in the military.  we are in a LDR to begin with so it makes it a little hard to plan. So i am totally ok with picking colors and him and his Groomsmen just showing up. 

 

I think some girls are just a little bit more emotional or need help making decisions. I like my independents on planning. 

Post # 8
Member
3541 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2015

adverb:  lol this is why I’m glad Fiance isn’t overly invested!  I get to do my own thing for the most part lol

Post # 9
Member
1344 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

I totally agree with OP. 

When my man proposed, and we were driving the few hours back to our hotel, I was just gushing and texting my friends, on cloud 9! And he goes and says “just so you know, this doesn’t mean we can start planning a wedding right away..” Pssh, yeah right! Been dreaming of this since I was a little girl. It’s ALREADY planned.

Later, I told him my vision for it (enchanted forest) and he said “how about minimalist theme?” Um, nope. 

He would be happy if we just went to the courthouse tomorrow and got it over with. Most guys do not care for weddings! 

Post # 10
Member
232 posts
Helper bee

I will be taking the lead on most of the planning – i’m fine with that (as is he).  His main input so far has been about the budget. He will be involved with the music stuff because that’s more his thing. He is happy to leave most of the other things to me and I will ask for his input along the way. 

Post # 11
Member
2425 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

Yeah there are some people who have fiance who coud care less about planning a wedding but than there are some of us who are lucky enough to be marrying someone who does care about some aspects of wedding planning like mine for example. My fiance has a lot of say in our wedding planning. There are specific things he wanted so I let him have it.  

 

Post # 12
Member
789 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

I mostly agree with your sentiment, though I think it comes off a little harsh.

You are right that most men really do not care about the small details that need to be planned for a wedding, and we shouldn’t take it personal.

However, as a woman who didn’t have a “vision” or care to much for wedding planning (if we could’ve afforded a wedding planner, totally would’ve hired one), it was a little annoying at first. Our compromise is that I do the research legwork and he’s fully involved in decision making. It’s not my wedding, it’s our wedding.

Post # 13
Member
1909 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

My Darling Husband was over-involved so be careful what you wish for! There are some of us on the other end of the spectrum who would have preferred their fiancé be less involved in the wedding planning process lol!

Post # 14
Member
67 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

100% agree!!!!!  I mean I’ve been thinking about what my wedding would be like most days since I was five.  I love picking everything out so much!  It wouldn’t even be fair if I had to compromise my vision for color scheme, table clothes, invitations, flowers, bridesmaid dresses, hair styles, center pieces, cakes, cake toppers, etc and everything else I’ve been dreaming about my whole life for things that Fiance has no interest in.  My Fiance is really happy and excited that we are getting married, but he hasn’t been thinking about flowers and invitations for years like I have! And years from now he won’t remember or care about those things.  But I will!  So it’s a win win for us when I pick everything out!

 

  • This reply was modified 4 years, 8 months ago by  LMG15.
Post # 15
Member
2092 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

My Fiance suggested eloping halfway through planning and it was the best idea ever. We’ve already told family and friends the new plan though so now we consider is a destination private wedding ceremony. Other than that he just agrees with everything I say and trusts my decisions. I’m letting him pick food and two cupcake flavors though for our “at home reception.” As for his excitement level, he’s excited to marry me and to ride in a helicopter to the destination. He’s also excited to go fishing in Alaska, haha. I couldn’t ask for more!   

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