Post # 1
So I see a lot of brides stressing over the fact their fi isn’t as excited/ involved in the wedding planning as they would like him to be. WHY??
Most, not all, but most guys would not want to plan any event, much less one to this extent, and probably feel like they’re either not going to be of help or their opinion isn’t listened to anyway.
Are you really telling me if you wanted a gold and navy theme and he wanted blue and orange you’d be like “okay let’s do that”?
If he wanted to just have a regular cake and you wanted a cake top and then cupcakes that you would listen?
If he wanted to wear bright green suits and you wanted it a balck or navy you’d be okay with that?
They let you plan it sice they know YOU have a vision of what you want, probably sice you have been imagining it for so long.
If you ask for their input and they give you it, great. But not all men will. A lot of men will just do what they’re told regarding it and show up on the day.
Planning a wedding has never really been something you do as a couple. IOt has always been the bride and her family/friends, especially when the bride’s family was paying.
Don’t get your panties in a twist and consider leaving him over it, he just doesn’t want to plan what is essentially a big party.
Post # 2
GypsieFlower: Fiance kept stressing about wedding planning in the beginning. I finally told him “all u have to do is show up! Relax!” He’s excited about marrying me; that’s all I care about 🙂
Post # 3
When you’re excited about something, it’s nice to have your partner excited about it too. Plus, it is an event honoring the two of you, so you might hope that your groom is somewhat interested.
I am incredibly lucky Darling Husband has been an active and enthusiastic partner in the wedding planning. He’s just a great partner in general.
Post # 4
heputaringonit: Exactly, and isn’t that what you’d want? My Fi will give his opinion occasionally but for the most part he’s basially said all he cares about is marrying me on the day, everything else doesn’t really matter to him.
Post # 5
I loved planning our wedding. All I did was make sure he liked the colors and anything he and his groomsmen had to wear. I didn’t really leave the choices up to him but if he didn’t like something, I was more than happy to compromise on something he did like. I don’t think he would have liked being by my side planning every last detail. Just not his thing!
Post # 6
Or you can have the opposite. My Fiance has been very vocal about the planning. I’m definitely the planner and organizer, but I involve his input. Sometimes we do not agree so we have to find compromises.<br /><br />Initially, I wanted to elope and he wanted the party. So we agreed to keep it small. Having a destination wedding helps 🙂
Post # 7
GypsieFlower: So if you described our relationship it would be along the lines of… hey babe what do you want to eat….me idk and my Fiance ok lets go here…me no gross lets go here. Needless to say I’m goNna do what i want anyways and my Fiance knows this so he doesn’t care about picking colors and table decor. I’ll occasionally ask his opinion on stuff and get his input when i want. My Fiance picked our cake topper which i was fine with. my Fiance is always working since he is in the military. we are in a LDR to begin with so it makes it a little hard to plan. So i am totally ok with picking colors and him and his Groomsmen just showing up.
I think some girls are just a little bit more emotional or need help making decisions. I like my independents on planning.
Post # 8
adverb: lol this is why I’m glad Fiance isn’t overly invested! I get to do my own thing for the most part lol
Post # 9
I totally agree with OP.
When my man proposed, and we were driving the few hours back to our hotel, I was just gushing and texting my friends, on cloud 9! And he goes and says “just so you know, this doesn’t mean we can start planning a wedding right away..” Pssh, yeah right! Been dreaming of this since I was a little girl. It’s ALREADY planned.
Later, I told him my vision for it (enchanted forest) and he said “how about minimalist theme?” Um, nope.
He would be happy if we just went to the courthouse tomorrow and got it over with. Most guys do not care for weddings!
Post # 10
I will be taking the lead on most of the planning – i’m fine with that (as is he). His main input so far has been about the budget. He will be involved with the music stuff because that’s more his thing. He is happy to leave most of the other things to me and I will ask for his input along the way.
Post # 11
Yeah there are some people who have fiance who coud care less about planning a wedding but than there are some of us who are lucky enough to be marrying someone who does care about some aspects of wedding planning like mine for example. My fiance has a lot of say in our wedding planning. There are specific things he wanted so I let him have it.
Post # 12
I mostly agree with your sentiment, though I think it comes off a little harsh.
You are right that most men really do not care about the small details that need to be planned for a wedding, and we shouldn’t take it personal.
However, as a woman who didn’t have a “vision” or care to much for wedding planning (if we could’ve afforded a wedding planner, totally would’ve hired one), it was a little annoying at first. Our compromise is that I do the research legwork and he’s fully involved in decision making. It’s not my wedding, it’s our wedding.
Post # 13
My Darling Husband was over-involved so be careful what you wish for! There are some of us on the other end of the spectrum who would have preferred their fiancé be less involved in the wedding planning process lol!
Post # 14
100% agree!!!!! I mean I’ve been thinking about what my wedding would be like most days since I was five. I love picking everything out so much! It wouldn’t even be fair if I had to compromise my vision for color scheme, table clothes, invitations, flowers, bridesmaid dresses, hair styles, center pieces, cakes, cake toppers, etc and everything else I’ve been dreaming about my whole life for things that Fiance has no interest in. My Fiance is really happy and excited that we are getting married, but he hasn’t been thinking about flowers and invitations for years like I have! And years from now he won’t remember or care about those things. But I will! So it’s a win win for us when I pick everything out!
Post # 15
My Fiance suggested eloping halfway through planning and it was the best idea ever. We’ve already told family and friends the new plan though so now we consider is a destination private wedding ceremony. Other than that he just agrees with everything I say and trusts my decisions. I’m letting him pick food and two cupcake flavors though for our “at home reception.” As for his excitement level, he’s excited to marry me and to ride in a helicopter to the destination. He’s also excited to go fishing in Alaska, haha. I couldn’t ask for more!