(Closed) What is the deal? I don't see the problem here…

posted 5 years ago in Beehive
Post # 31
Member
784 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

 

GypsieFlower:  I feel my Fiance is the right amount of invovled. I would not want him to be anymore involved in the planning as there might be a lot of conflicts. I am too much of a control freak and would be upset if I had to try to talk him out of something if I did not like his input on it.

Post # 32
Member
5956 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2014

GypsieFlower:  Ha, yeah! This way we get what we want BUT it is kinda nice if he seems interested, I have to say. and hopefully he has the same taste as you. And by the way, orange and blue go great together! Complimentary colors and all.. 😛

Post # 33
Member
5188 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2013

My husband literally didn’t do anything besides show up!!!!! So for all the brides complaining about their gentleman not being involved in every detail, did you at least get him to see the venue beforehand? I had to give mine directions on how to get there and that was the extent of it lol! 

Post # 35
Member
2969 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I totally agree. I ran some things by my husband just to sign off on or to get his opinion but mostly he was pretty disinterested.

The things he cared about were the venue, food, the music, the suits, the type of limo we got and the honeymoon. THATS IT.

I could almost see his eyes glaze over when I showed him invitations, linens, flowers, decor, etc… He.did.not.care! LOL

Post # 36
Member
1420 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

GypsieFlower:  I so agree with your post it is crazy! My bf will not want to plan anything, I know that already. He is happy to be marrying me but he will want to stay away from this whole drama. I know he will do important decision like cake tasting and venue picking but he is not interested in detailes.

And I don’t take offence to it. That is what I will have Maid/Matron of Honor and my mom for! 🙂

Post # 37
Member
4245 posts
Honey bee

“Planning a wedding has never really been something you do as a couple. IOt has always been the bride and her family/friends, especially when the bride’s family was paying.”

Really? According to whom?

You realize that all men are not a monolith, right? That some men might even WANT to help plan their wedding? That’s just an ignorant thing to say. But I suppose I’m fairly non-traditional in the fact that I don’t expect my family to pony up the cash for my fancy party, and expect my partner to help me plan the somewhat stressful, expensive (but also amazing and fun) 24 hours where we will commit ourselves to each other forever.

Some men want their partner to take the reigns? Thats fine. But honestly I, and lots of other brides, aren’t really that enthused about wedding planning either. I don’t think that means the whole responsibility should fall on the bride. It’s not out of line to expect some input about how the day will function and look. And would I be OK if he wanted something different than me….uh, yes? He’s allowed to have his opinions as well. It doesn’t mean we’d do it how he wants, or how I want, but if we want different things we would comprimise. Is THAT really so hard to understand?

  • This reply was modified 4 years, 7 months ago by  ClaudiaKishi.
Post # 38
Member
1987 posts
Buzzing bee

TwinkleBoss:  +10000000  Honestly, some of the comments on this thread are some of the most appalling, misogynstic/misandrist that I’ve seen on WB in some time. 

Post # 39
Member
1420 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

Whoah girls, calm down here. GypsyFlower did not say that it is not alright for Fiance to plan a wedding. Not at all. It is fantastic if he wants to and I would love if my bf helped too. But you are hating on a girl because she spoke her mind. She was strictly talking about those couples that SHE wants HIM to plan but HE is not interested in details of a wedding. Which I agree on. Yes it is our day to celebrate but I am not going to have doubt who I am marrying because he is not interested in choosing flowers or type of linen on a table. My boyfriend is just not interested and he thinks everything is pretty. Of course he will listen to me but I won’t be offended if he won’t give me his input.

Post # 40
Member
4245 posts
Honey bee

sylwia212:  I was actually responding to her own words that planning a wedding is not something a couple does, or that most men are not interested in wedding planning, which is patently untrue. Sorry if I’m not OK with slinging around boring old sexist stereotypes. No one said anyone should be forced to plan a wedding if they really don’t want to, but that it’s not out of line to expect him to help. Why should I have to do all the work?

Post # 41
Member
1420 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

ClaudiaKishi:  Oh, I must of missed the “planning a wedding is not something a couple does” part. I take back what I said.

 

 

Post # 42
Member
4245 posts
Honey bee

sylwia212:  No worries! Sorry for being so aggressive in my reply to you, this kind of thing is just my MAJOR pet peeve. I really don’t care how other couples choose to divide up their wedding planning but I hate the assumption/stereotype that men just don’t care or aren’t interested.

Post # 43
Member
520 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

GypsieFlower:  If you watch the show Rich Bride Poor Bride you can see that a lot more grooms care even more than the bride does. They like attention or want to make things a big party with all their friends.

 

My Fiance is extremely involved because he is an artist and is loving first of all doing things and spending time together in a creative fashion, 2 being in charge of certain things makes him feel good and 3 hes loving the creative aspect of all of this. It is a day for both people and they should be bothe exually represented and involved. He has made a number of requests or given a number of ideas that we are going with. He did the intiial design of all our stationary. I just did a few tweaks and he liked it even better! I think UI agree that they wont be excited about every little detial like we ar eor some girlier aspects but there should be aspects that they can get excited about to.

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