Post # 32
one time, I went into a store to turn in a pop bottle cap for buy one get one free. The guy stared at me. Apparently, you can’t just turn in the cap and get a free bottle of pop. Asshole Darling Husband likes to bring that up all the time.
I’ve done a million stupid things. Like probably actually a million. So we’ll stick with today and the pop bottle.
Post # 33
I could post things I’ve done all night…but one of the first ones that came to mind was “locking” my keys in the trunk, paying pop-a-lock $50 to come open my car, only to find my keys in my purse 5 minutes later!
Post # 34
I went into the ocean with my glasses because I have a really hard time seeing without them. I was doing great until Fiance had me come out further. A huge wave knocked us both down and I didn’t grab my glasses in time. Needless to say, I was near blind for the rest of the night until we got home. I’m glad I saved my old glasses.
Post # 35
Nearly called the police on my brother… I was home alone, heard a tremendous thud and knock on the door so I instantly though OMG someone is trying to break in! (we had a very obvious door bell so it couldn’t have been a person with good intentions right?!)
Started panicking… set the house alarm off and was in the middle of dialing police when MY BROTHER’s face pops up in the back window. He yells at me that he’s about to burst and to please open the door…
Turns out it was him at the door and needing to pee… Oh gosh I sound like a total loony now haha What makes it worse was that I wasn’t even that young – around 17? lol
Post # 36
@kala_way: yep…. I guess this is more of a
funny things that you messed up on` thread… or else Im a huge fuck up :S
Post # 37
Locked myself out of my dorm room many times when I was in college. My RA must have hated me. I’m better with that stuff now.
Post # 38
Speaking of college, it reminds me of a call we got at the police department. (This was NOT me lol)
A lady called to request someone to come out to her vehicle because she was locked out of her car. An officer arrived and asked her where her keys were at inside and she replied “they arent inside the car, I have them right here but the remote won’t work to let me in!”
The officer took her manual key and promptly opened the door and said “Have a nice day!”
Post # 39
@misschickpea: ohmygosh I would be sooo embarrassed! But how on earth did she not know about the manual key?!
Post # 40
Last week we had a few days of wind storm weather…I usually take our smart car to work because it costs 1/5th of the gas of our other car. This day I decided that it was just too windy and I didn’t want to be scared driving on the highway in a car that weighs 10lbs in this storm. We have a tandem garage – I get the smart car out, go get the other car out, drive the smart car back in. Get a block away – realize “oh shit!” my parking decal for the underground parking is on the rearview mirror in the smart car. I drive back, open the garage get the decal and go on my way to work.
This day, I was working 30 minutes earlier than the rest of the people in my department. I guess in my panic at not having my decal – I didn’t think I might want my pass to get in the f’n building which was about 2 feet from the decal in the smart car. So now, it’s 630am, I have a parking decal but I don’t have a pass to get into the parking garage, let alone into the building. I had to email anyone and everyone I could think of that may have been at work until someone could come let me in.
Then when others got into work I had to borrow someone elses pass to go and park my car. I got outside, in the pouring rain and wind – 3/4 of the way to my car only to realize that my keys were in my purse. Back up to the 3rd floor I went…it was a clusterfk of stupidity all in one morning..
Post # 41
I crashed & totaled my car. Whoops!
My brother is a mechanic and he and his friends were kind enough to decorate it for me as they were stripping it for parts. 😛
Post # 42
I was getting ready to x-ray A MAN and I asked him “Any chance of pregnancy?”
He laughed so hard he was barely able to hold his breath for the picture….
Post # 43
I just finished doing something super dumb today….
Fiance bought a cookie sheet, a small one, for the nachos we were going to make tonight. I argued that it was still too big! The inside of our oven is only 16 inches wide. We have a very tiny apartment size gas stove. The pan he bought was 19 inches. So when we got home, I tried the pan, sideways, banging it, because it was 6 inches too big, so I said in my very knowingly sarcastic voice “See? It doesn’t fit!” putting emphasis on the “doesn’t” word…..
He took the pan from my hands turned it 90 degrees, and shoved it in the oven, and he repeated my words, but not exactly…….”See? It does fit!” the emphasis is on the word “does”
Never argue until you have all the facts ladies! LOL
Post # 44
In a span of nine months, I had to call AAA three times because I locked my keys in the car.
I’ve locked myself out of the house two times.
I am constantly leaving my keys in the door after opening it. I once left it there all night and didn’t realize it until the next afternoon. It’s always the same neighbor that knocks on our door to let us know that my keys are hanging in it. He must think I’m such an idiot!
Post # 45
- Wedding: October 2019 - City, State
These are all hilarious! I’m so glad others have fails like mine lol.
As a side note…I took my son to look for baseball cleats today. We walked up and down the shoe aisles and I couldn’t find what we needed. I was hot and irritated. So I finally ask a worker “where are the kids baseball cleats I have walked up and down these aisles and I can’t find them!!!” and I’m obviously very upset. He points over my shoulder and is like “…right here miss”. I happened to stop to ask someone right as I was standing directly in front of the kids cleats section. Awesome.
Post # 46
Backed into a car in the drive thru at KFC. I drove up, decided I didn’t want anything from there and instead of just pulling on through or looking back I just backed up into another car.