(Closed) What is the etiquette on B-lists?

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Is it okay to have a B-list of invitees?
    B-lists are so rude no matter what! : (5 votes)
    17 %
    B-lists done this way are alright. : (20 votes)
    67 %
    B-lists are always okay! : (5 votes)
    17 %
    It depends.... : (0 votes)
  • Post # 3
    Member
    3762 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: May 2010

    If you do it the right way that is good. I would suggest maybe sending the family invites even 8 weeks early. I am not sure how you would be able to send the invites A list and B list only 2 weeks apart. How will you know the response of the A list at that point?

    Post # 4
    Member
    3576 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    We have a small B list but as soon as someone declines we’ll be sending the invite out but we have two separate dates on our RSVP cards.  A rsvp is required to be sent to us in August while the B rsvp is required to be sent to us in September.  And the B listers will not get the save the date…obviously.

    Post # 5
    Member
    85 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    Good topic! I have no idea how to handle this, too!

    Post # 6
    Member
    1465 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    There is no situation in which they are not considered rude. Even with the best-laid plans, people will find out that they were not good enough to make the A list and feel that you only want them there for a gift. That may not be your intention at all but that is how it comes across.

    Post # 7
    Member
    972 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2010

    I have a B list too and I know some people already know that i’ve sent out the invites already, we’ve gotten a few ‘no’s’ but now im afraid they will be upset 

    Post # 8
    Member
    1684 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: February 2010

    I think B-Lists are well known these days – considering the economy people can’t afford huge weddings anymore – the trick is making sure your guests don’t know they’re on it. We have a list of almost 300 people, there’s no way we can afford everyone so we HAD to create a B-List.

    I think it’s fine – you just have to leave a pretty big window to the RSVP date. Send out the 1st invites much earlier so that when you do send out the others, those people don’t feel a rush to RSVP. Only having 2-3 weeks to respond is a red flag that you’re b-list. Remember too that you’ll have to chase some people down to get their responses so you want to allot time for emails, calls, etc. too.

    Post # 9
    Member
    1336 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2010

    I would recommend the big RSVP window, or better yet, maybe even leaving the date blank, because now that my B-list are being sent out, the RSVP date has passed.

    Post # 10
    Member
    2208 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    The family first approach is really the best way to go with a B-list. The hard part is sending out invites in two batches to people in the same rough circle of friends. If you can send those invites out together, you’re fine.

    The topic ‘What is the etiquette on B-lists?’ is closed to new replies.

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