(Closed) What is the etiquette on B-lists?

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Is it okay to have a B-list of invitees?
    B-lists are so rude no matter what! : (5 votes)
    17 %
    B-lists done this way are alright. : (20 votes)
    67 %
    B-lists are always okay! : (5 votes)
    17 %
    It depends.... : (0 votes)
  • Post # 3
    3762 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: May 2010

    If you do it the right way that is good. I would suggest maybe sending the family invites even 8 weeks early. I am not sure how you would be able to send the invites A list and B list only 2 weeks apart. How will you know the response of the A list at that point?

    Post # 4
    3576 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    We have a small B list but as soon as someone declines we’ll be sending the invite out but we have two separate dates on our RSVP cards.  A rsvp is required to be sent to us in August while the B rsvp is required to be sent to us in September.  And the B listers will not get the save the date…obviously.

    Post # 5
    85 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    Good topic! I have no idea how to handle this, too!

    Post # 6
    1465 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    There is no situation in which they are not considered rude. Even with the best-laid plans, people will find out that they were not good enough to make the A list and feel that you only want them there for a gift. That may not be your intention at all but that is how it comes across.

    Post # 7
    972 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2010

    I have a B list too and I know some people already know that i’ve sent out the invites already, we’ve gotten a few ‘no’s’ but now im afraid they will be upset 

    Post # 8
    1684 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: February 2010

    I think B-Lists are well known these days – considering the economy people can’t afford huge weddings anymore – the trick is making sure your guests don’t know they’re on it. We have a list of almost 300 people, there’s no way we can afford everyone so we HAD to create a B-List.

    I think it’s fine – you just have to leave a pretty big window to the RSVP date. Send out the 1st invites much earlier so that when you do send out the others, those people don’t feel a rush to RSVP. Only having 2-3 weeks to respond is a red flag that you’re b-list. Remember too that you’ll have to chase some people down to get their responses so you want to allot time for emails, calls, etc. too.

    Post # 9
    1336 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2010

    I would recommend the big RSVP window, or better yet, maybe even leaving the date blank, because now that my B-list are being sent out, the RSVP date has passed.

    Post # 10
    2208 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    The family first approach is really the best way to go with a B-list. The hard part is sending out invites in two batches to people in the same rough circle of friends. If you can send those invites out together, you’re fine.

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