(Closed) What is the key to a long successful marriage/relationship?

posted 4 years ago in Relationships
Post # 2
Member
1027 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

recently married ( 5 months) and together 2 years or so. GRACE. I’ve heard this from many people. My grandparents have been married 60 years, parents 35, blessed to have great examples in my life. Put them first, and learn to let things go. Humor helps too. 🙂

Post # 3
Member
3444 posts
Sugar bee

I’ve only been married a few months so I don’t know but I will guess good communication has a lot to do with it!

Post # 4
Member
225 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2016

I read a thing on Tumblr (lol) about love and whether it was a choice or a feeling. 

After reading it my entire perspective on relationships changed. So, my key is to always choose Fiance. The feeling of being in love comes and goes, and when things are hard and it seems easier to leave I remember that I have to choose to put in the effort, choose to work through the hard times, and choose to spend my life with him.

EDIT: http://acutelesbian.tumblr.com/post/132084506833/fat-thin-skinny-acutelesbian-a-lot-of-people here ya go, if you’re interested!

  • This reply was modified 4 years, 1 month ago by  mrstbone.
Post # 5
Member
1444 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Compatibility, Communication, and Compromise.

I’ve only been with Darling Husband for 4 years, so not that long in the scheme of things, but we’ve had our highs and lows. For the most part we’re really compatible, so generally we’re on the same page. We’re really good at communicating, so if we’re not on the same page, we talk about it. And then either one person is right and the other is wrong, or one person cares more than the other, so you compromise a bit, because it’s a partnership. But you also bring out the best in eachother.

Also, I don’t believe in “the one,” there are plenty of good, smart, funny men in the world, but the longer I’m with my Darling Husband, the harder it is to imagine myself with anyone else. He knows who I am and how I’ve changed, and he’s loved me through all of it. I value marriage and staying with someone till death do you part because choosing someone every day, sharing your life with them, and building your history together, is a beautiful thing.

Post # 6
Member
2870 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

Communication, 150%. Dh and I always talk everything out, I mean everything together. I know far too much about him and vice versa. Same with bills, life, our animals, all of that. My mom always says to me “Well, don’t tell Darling Husband that.” Wait, what? Why wouldn’t I tell him? We are married, and living our lives together. Of course he has a right to know everything I’m doing.

We are quite new into our relationship, so to speak. Going on three years together. Doesn’t sound like alot, but we put effort into everything we do.

Post # 7
Member
256 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

I think respect is a main factor. If you respect your partner, you will listen and communicate accordingly. 

Post # 8
Member
4697 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Respect. Constant communication. Willingness to compromise, willingness to admit you’re wrong..

I also think that the foundation of a good friendship is key. My husband and I are friends at the end of the day.. We love each other as people and are also lucky enough to love each other romantically as well.

We’ve been together for 8 years and married for about a year and a half.

Post # 9
Member
108 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2016 - Beach house

View original reply
mrstbone:  My Grandparents, and then now may parents/aunts/uncles often say that it’s a choice. And when things are hard that they’re CHOOSING to love their partner through it. It has sort of become a joke with my generation (the grandkids), “I’m choosing to love you right now” is something we tease our partners with.

I do think that’s a big part of it. Choosing the person when things are hard, when you’re torn. Choose to put the relationship first. 

Post # 10
Member
3089 posts
Sugar bee

1. Being with someone EASY-going. Do not underestimate the importance of this. My ex husband was emotionally high maintenance and it was exhausting.

2. Allowing the other person his/her feelings.  Dont ever be with someone who is trying to change you and vice versa. You should love yourself and your SO should love you the way you are

3.  Being with someone who makes your life easier (and vice versa). The person you are with should motivate you to be a better version of yourself

4.  Someone who can keep his dick in his pants (oh, and vice versa) and just for you.

5.  Someone who knows how to control his temper and knows how to communicate. I cant stress this enough.

6.  Someone who isnt financially draining on you

 

Post # 11
Member
302 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

We have been together 7 years, married three. Many ups and downs. 

Determination and understanding by both parties is what is necessary from that I’ve seen and read.

Determination to work through it even when things get their hardest.

Understanding that love depends on YOU. Yes you DO choose who you love. You choose to love or withhold your love.

Post # 12
Member
1027 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

View original reply
Butterfly6:  sounds more like a list of things to have on the “do not date/marry” list, not really good advice for after marrying or staying together. Marriage is compromise.

Post # 13
Member
4028 posts
Honey bee

We have been together for 12.5 years, married for 2.5 years. I think what works for us is:

1. Compatibility: This is related to being on the same page sexually, financially, emotionally and life style wise. We both work toward the same goals in these areas.

2. Compromise: We do not always agree on things, but we do work toward a resolution that we can both live with in the long run.

3. Communication: We have found our own rhythm of talking through things with each other, good, bad or otherwise.

4. Valuing each other: This comes down to respecting each other, caring for one another and recognizing that we accept each other for who we are and not trying to change that.

Post # 14
Member
4943 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Having been married twice (first time for 15 years, this time for 3.5), I can say the best thing to making a marriage work is being friends with your spouse! My husband isn’t just my husband, he’s my best friend. And because of that, we also have respect for each other and our marriage, communicate well, etc. My ex and I loved each other, but I wouldn’t say we were friends. And I think that (and his cheating!) was a big downfall.

Post # 15
Member
3089 posts
Sugar bee

 

View original reply
reptilelvr:  Actually, I think my advice applies for after marriage. These are the qualities you want your partner to have even after marriage (and from my experience).

As far as your comment about compromising, I am not sure how that is relevant to my post although I do agree with you that marriage is compromise.

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