Post # 1
The median of our gifts I think falls between $35-$50, with some more high-end choices as well, around $100, with a few in the $200 range.
However, we are in desperate need of a new bed. We bought a king size bed from Ikea and it is has been the bane of our existence. The slats fall off of the bed at least 2-3 times a week, causing us to fall onto the floor in the middle of the night. It is AWFUL.
Since we can’t just pop down $1,000 for a nicely constructed bed, I figured I could include it in my registry since it is something we really need. I found this nice bed on Restoration Hardware for $900. Now I don’t actually expect anyone to jump at that gift, but I put it on there just in case maybe some of our good friends or members of our bridal party wanted to pool together?
Anyway, my mom called me the other day to ask about a bridal shower and mentioned how she told the ladies planning it “not to be surprised” by the high prices of some of my items.
Am I being rude by including the bed?
Post # 3
I think you’re fine. It’s obviously an outlier and you did it with the intention that people might pool together. I’d be delighted to know I was getting my friend something they would use everyday and really appreciate, as opposed to a Bundt pan she might use twice a year for brunch. As long as you have realistic expectations that you might not get it and have lots of other options, I don’t really see a problem, and I tend to be a stickler about registry ettiquette.
I actually think your mom is putting the wrong spin on it by “warning” your shower planners. Also, presumably the women throwing you a shower are your close friends or members of the bridal party? Can’t you just tell them what you intended?
Post # 4
- Wedding: May 2013 - Walt Disney World
I don’t think it’s rude at all. It’s not like all of your registry items are that expensive. It doesn’t hurt to add an item that you really need even though it is pricey. I don’t think your mom should have said anythng to the party planners, that doesn’t make sense to me.
Post # 5
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with including the bed. Maybe it will be a gift from all your bridesmaids or a few family members can go in on the gift together. You may not get it, but I don’t think anyone expects to receieve every gift they register for, so depended on where you registered, you may be able to get a discount on it after the wedding.
Post # 6
We registered for a really, really expensive set of pots and pans. I think it was about $600. I didn’t think anyone would get it, but figure hey, if family wants to pool together maybe there’s a chance.
Is is two months til the wedding and someone bought it!! EEEEP!!
So no, I don’t think it’s rude. Hopefully someone surprises you, too!!
Post # 7
- Wedding: August 2013 - Brookfield Zoo
Our most expensive item is a Dyson Animal vacuum thingy coming in at around $600 … I don’t think it’s rude at all, especially since you have a lot of lesser priced items. That just sounds like a “mom” thing to do, warning her friends LoL, I could see my mom doing that too!
Post # 8
- Wedding: November 2012 - Oak Tree Manor
I think the most expensive thing we registered for was a $250 Le Creuset saucier. I think it’s totally fine to register for the bed since it’s something you genuinely need – and probably the best way to approach that is to ask your mom and your FI’s mom to spread the word about it, or at least explain if any friends/family ask.
The other thing is, you will probably get a lot of cash from your wedding. Could you use that to buy a bed, that way you don’t have to feel uncomfortable about putting a $900 item on your registry? We moved in together once we got married, so we really didn’t have a lot of stuff, and I felt like our registry had plenty of items – but still, a lot of people just gave us cash. We’re using it to buy our expensive “wants” like a rug – and hey, we also need a bed, we actually have the same bed problem as you hahaha.
Post # 9
Nah, you’re fine…I wouldn’t worry about it. Hopefully you’ll get lucky and a wealthy aunt or uncle will get it for you! Otherwise, it’s not rude at all because you have a variety of things on the registry. Like sassbunny said, it’s just an outlier.
Post # 10
I wouldn’t sweat it. From the guest’s point of view, I think it’s nice to be able to get you something that you really need that a group of friends or family members can chip in for, versus maybe a bunch of small things like a bowl or something.
Post # 11
We have a Dyson vacuum, but it’s way more expensive than anything else. I think it’s fine to put a couple more expensive things on there… personally, I think it’s a bit unconventional to put a bed on there, but hey, if you need it, why not!?
Post # 12
The majority of our stuff us less than $50, however, we registered for a new TV (I don’t particularly care if we actually get it, tbh) that was $550 and a memory foam mattress that’s $350. I think there’s a $150 Shark vacuum and then a carpet steamer, too. My aunts yelled at me for not having more expensive stuff on there because “people will go in on big stuff together!” They mentioned appliances, but, uh, we live in an apartment right now and can’t do anything with new appliances.
Post # 13
I registered for a Kitchen Aid noodle maker
I use my Kitchen Aid pasta maker constantly, so I figured I might make good use out of a noodle maker.
Post # 14
That’s not rude at all since it’s the only super expensive item on there. Your parents or family might just buy it for you themselves.
I don’t have a registry yet but I have my heart set on a standing mixer, I think they’re about $300-400? But like you I’ll make sure my gifts are around the $30-50 range with a few $100 items.
Post # 15
@BeachBride2014: Thats awesome! I’m definitely going to register for that, I don’t care how much it is!
Post # 16
Not rude at all. They’re suggestions not demands. As long as you have a decent price range in there it’s fine. I once saw a registry that had a bed, couches, tons of furniture on it – they actually got a lot of it, too!
We were going to put a bed on it but we just haven’t found one we liked. Our most expensive item currently is a $700 dyson.