(Closed) What is the most important aspect of a wedding?

posted 6 years ago in Reception
Post # 3
Member
914 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

You can’t make everyone else happy. It’s impossible and you’ll drive yourself bonkers trying.

For me, the most important aspect behind our decision is simple. Getting married. Sure our close family will be there, but even if they all told me they didn’t want to come, I’d still be getting married without them. 

Post # 4
Member
3625 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Honestly, at this point in the game, it is all about us and making US feel happy. Yes, that sounds selfish, but it is our money, our day and our vision. So we are picking the things that makes us happy (rather than mass appeal) and we are choosing traditions that work for us, rather than what our families/cultures expect.

Throughout the planning process, everyone seems to have their own opinions and ideas and parents/immediate family all seem to think that it is also their day. I think a lot of them forgot that this is our wedding, first and foremost, and we have spent hours crying and fighting because we were trying to please everyone and we sometimes forgot ourselves in the process.

Post # 5
Member
359 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@lilbluebird: Honestly, at this point in the game, it is all about us and making US feel happy. Yes, that sounds selfish, but it is our money, our day and our vision. So we are picking the things that makes us happy (rather than mass appeal) and we are choosing traditions that work for us, rather than what our families/cultures expect.  <—- there’s the answer to your question!

The most important aspect is that you are marrying each other. All the other stuff, honestly, it’s just stuff.

Post # 7
Member
1736 posts
Bumble bee

Would YOU be happy with an elopment? Would your FI? That’s the question to ask yourself. It’s about the two of you and your feelings towards it. You two need to have a heart-to-heart about how YOU envision the day…and make your decision from there.

The most important aspect of my wedding day is my groom. I don’t need all the other collateral…I just need him!

Post # 8
Member
154 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

My fiance and I are planning on having a private ceremony and then a recpetion/party at a later date. I’m a little sad that my Dad won’t be there to walk me down the aisle but I also feel like the ceremony should be private…

 

 

Maybe you could have the wedding in your perfect place, but afterwards have a little ceremony for your fiance’s grandmother and the family down there. I’m sure that would make her feel special. And you can have one of your friends get ordained and re-marry you two there. So then it’d be cheap(er) but you’d still have that second ceremony feeling.

Post # 9
Member
807 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Why on earth did you opt for a winter wedding? Why did you guys not opt for a spring wedding? I would never ask any elderly relative to travel so much in winter!

Post # 10
Member
973 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Since you say you would be ultimately disappointed with no wedding, you’ll have to figure it out! 

From the little I know I would say if location is just a detail of making others happy, and IF you guys don’t have a strong preference and can afford it, IF he is really close to his grandmother that can’t travel in the cold (which I fully understand) then do it there.  You’ll still get your two grandparents who can travel.

You’re NEVER going to please everyone, no use trying.  Do what is important to the two of you, whatever it is.  Block out everyone else and their wants, talk with Fiance about what you two want and is important to the two of you.  It IS your day, so what matters most to you two is priority.

Galatea‘s idea of a reception later for those who couldn’t attend (whatever you decide) is a great idea.

Post # 11
Member
3092 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

We are definitely putting the emphasis on it being our day to spend with those we care about and want to share “that” day with.  This means that almost none of my family will be at the wedding.  I love my family but they have a lot of problems.  This also means Mr. Icetea’s grandmother will not be in attendance either.  She also has a lot of problems getting along with others.

Having said that, there is/was/will be a lot of guilt.  We have also tried to make sure we give these people attention and include them in our decision to marry.  We’re making a special trip out to visit my mom.  We’re going to stay at a hotel and just have a two night mini vacay type of thing.  I normally would never put myself in the same room with my mom unless there was a social worker nearby.  But we’re taking precautions and it is important to honor those you love…but it does not mean that HAVE to be at the wedding to be a part of your marriage and family.  IMO 

 

Best!

Post # 12
Member
26 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: December 2012

You are going to have to decide what’s more important–having a wedding on a date that you want or having a wedding where your family members can be there (especially the grandmother who gave you the ring!) It is about making it work for you and making yourselves happy, but will you be happy if the grandmother wouldn’t be able to come? If so, then maybe you should compromise and move the date to a time when she can travel.

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