Post # 32
If I had more MONEY, the GUESTLIST wouldn’t have been so stressful!! So I voted staying within budget! Really everything has been stressful in its own way even the things that went very easy started out stressfull.
Post # 33
Venue, Budget and Guest List.
Also: Picking the Date!
Post # 34
Trying to make family (mostly his) happy and/or dealing with the disapproval/passive aggressiveness if we didn’t.
ETA: also guest list, but mostly because of the above…….apparently you just can’t not invite 2nd cousins the groom has never met. Even when you are not contributing financially and shouldn’t get a say……….
Post # 35
Guest list and money, but the money is stressing me out because our guest list is getting too high and the guest list is getting too high because we are trying to satisfy family. So I voted for Guest list, money and satisfying family.
Post # 36
At the time, I found that the most stressful thing was chasing up RSVPs from guests who hadn’t replied to us – there weren’t that many but I just felt awkward about doing it. Money wasn’t as much of a worry as it could have been because we did almost everything DIY – flowers, invites, etc, which made sure that we were within budget.
Post # 37
Family. Hands down.
It wasn’t so much that people weren’t being helpful or kind (both sides were extremely generous financially and my family was great about helping out with DIY, etc), but that differences in upbringing and expectations came out big time. I was kind of in denial before the planning started.
As a result we had issues with: location, registries, showers, no kids policy, formality level, and groups of people who decided not to look at maps (and thus, didn’t show up on time for photos), be appropriately dressed for the weather, planning things last minute for different times than originally stated…lol
Basically, picture a family who is fairly formal, plans in advance, dots every i and wants to be involved and help out combined with a SUPER casual, fly-by-the-seat-of-their-pants, no plans anywhere, who just want to show up…they just don’t know where they are supposed to go because they didn’t read their invites and didn’t listen to the phone calls or emails. LOL I can laugh about it now…but had a bit of a melt down the day of.
Post # 38
For me, the stressful part is trying to balance family members expectations with time off from work, getting organized, planning from afar (8 hours away from probable venue site).
Post # 39
SEATING CHART! As if it’s not bad enough figuring out who exactly to invite, then you have to figure out where to seat them all! I would figure out one arrangement, then my mom would look at it and make changes to accommodate her friends, then I would make changes again because I didn’t want certain friends sitting with particular people, then mom would change it again…. and you can see how it goes on and on AND ON. Once that was done, the rest of the planning was easy peasy.
Post # 40
The guest list will be the death of me. So many loved ones, family and friends, to invite and I have the worst guilt over letting people down. Next up, the budget. It kills me to be spending so much money and yet we keep finding so many awesome ideas to use!!! Thankfully I’m crafty and have really stepped up to cost cut things by DIY’ing a lot of them.
Post # 41
Pleasing others. Hands down, family to be exact!
Post # 42
Oh wow, so many options…
Probably guest list. But close behind, for me I would say pleasing and working with my mom was difficult, and definitely there were several last minute cancellations, ranging from people not being able to fulfill their roles at the ceremony, to people not being able to come at all. THAT was stressful. I had planned everything so that I’d hardly have to do anything the week before, but then all this stuff happened.
So, yeah, after thinking it through I guess I would say I was most stressed out by other people not being able to do what they’d said they could, last minute. (All with good reason. But still…VERY frustrating and stressful!)
Post # 43
I would say guestlist BUT that’s only because of the pleasing family members part SO the hardest part that contributes to the most “sub” parts is FAMILY by far!
Post # 44
The family. FI’s family, your family. Just the freaking family.
Post # 45
I think planning the guest list and staying within budget and family expectations often go hand in hand. It’s hard to stick to the budget when your family wants to invite every person they’ve met in their lives!
Post # 46
totally the family. Specifically divorced families. Divorced families that are threatening not to attend because of each other. ARGH.