Post # 1
This is a spin off of another thread dealing with the MOG dress choice. My question is, why is there so much craziness done in the name of the photography at weddings? You know what I mean:
Oh, I can’t ask my lifelong best friend to be in the wedding party because she’s fat and she’ll ruin the pictures!
Tell your best man he had better shave that beard he’s had for ten years because it will ruin the pictures!
Let’s get married at this gorgeous church we don’t attend and don’t believe in because it will look perfect in the pictures!
Lets not invite your cousin with the leg braces- it’ll be a downer in the pictures!
I mean, I get professional photography is expensive and everyone wants some nice, pretty pictures but it does seem like a lot of brides/couples are trying to stage a magazine shoot rather than capture sweet images of themselves and their loved ones on their wedding day. I guess I just don’t understand prioritizing some illusion of perfection over real relationships or other, more important considerations?
Post # 3
@Zhabeego: Bravo!! What I don’t understand is how these brides tolerate these imperfect people in their lives the rest of the time.
Unfortunately, planning a wedding seems to turn some brides into narcissists.
Post # 4
Wow. Those brides sound like bitches.
Post # 5
@Zhabeego: I agree with you completely. I’m a little weirded out by wedding photos that look like magazine shoots and are photoshopped to death. A friend of mine doesn’t even look like herself in her photos.
I can’t say I was overjoyed with our pictures, but they’ve grown on me. We definitely look like us.
Post # 6
@Zhabeego: Apparently some people don’t want to recognize the people in their photos years from now.
I never understood the desire to want perfect wedding photos. I loved having a very laid back, natural look to my wedding photos. No photoshopping, no telling people to move, no nixing people becuase they were fat/skinny/short/tall/bearded/ugly etc.
I asked these people because I love them for what they mean to me, not because of what they look like.
Post # 7
I understand people wanting themselves and others looking polished and wearing attire that is appropriate for the of event and venue. That makes sense to me, as does decorating the venue nicely. Keeping loved ones out of pictures because of their weight or how attractive they are or aren’t is mean, though. I can understand if it has to do with behavior, even behavior that affects how they look, but not for something as simple as being overweight or not pretty. Asking someone to change something about themselves, like the example you gave, is silly as well. Sometimes I understand it, but usually I just think it’s rude and not necessary.
I think getting married in a church or temple of a religion you do not follow is a tacky and sometimes downright wrong thing to do. The number of people here who think using the church as basically a prop for the wedding pictures, even going so far as to be upset when the priest, pastor, reverend, etc. says that they will have to alter their way of doing things until the wedding in order to get married in the church, is unbelievable. Sometimes they even lie in order to be married in these places. I find it repugnant. To be offended that a place of worship actually has standards for behavior when it comes to who they will and will not marry is absurd.
I agree with you.
Post # 8
Some girls dream of their wedding day since they were young. I never did. But I have dreamed of and imagined my wedding pictures. I love art, I love photography, and something about the drama of gorgeous editorial wedding pictures just makes me swoon.
You can disagree, that’s fine. Everyone has their thing that they want about their *wedding.* I think we all generally agree that the wedding is secondary to the marriage. But for those of us who are excited about the wedding part too and planning it, we all have different prioirities. I’m sure there are parts of your wedding that you’re super excited about that other people don’t “get.” But for me, getting amazing wedding pictures is my number one prioroty. Honestly, I have a terrlble memory and I’m a very visual person, and I know the pictures are the only part of that day that I’ll have forever. So they are the most important thing to me from the wedding.
That said, I’m not doing any of the things in your list…well the church one kind of, but it’s not just a church, it’s a landmark historic building built in the 1100’s in Spain and shipped across the Atlantic. It’s amazing, and it’s a a reception venue not just a church. And we’re doing the ceremony outside, not in the church part of it. And honestly the best part of it being part of a church is that the money we give them to rent the reception space goes to good causes, like feeding the homeless and getting the elderly medications, but I digress.
I’m not having a bridal party, or telling anyone what to wear (but for level or formality to fit with the event when they ask), or cutting anyone out of this that or the other thing so my pictures look perfect. But I am taking the time before the ceremony that would otherwise be used for bridal party pictures to attempt to get some magazine style photos while we have the awesome amazing photographer to take advange of it. The rest of the day he can take normal wedding pictures, with our loved ones and our ceremony and reception. But setting aside a couple hours to get the weird artsy editorial pictures that make me swoon, I’m so looking forward to.
I’m not going to hang a portrait of us standing together and looking at the camera on the wall. But I would hang something like this on the wall.
And I hope that on my wedding day, I get a couple shots like that because those are the ones I know I will cherish, and we’re all entitled to want and hope for the thing we want to be “perfect” on our wedding day. 🙂
Post # 9
@Zhabeego: I tootally agree with you. I don’t get it! And this is coming from someone who spent a TON of $ on photography.
Like I totally cannot understand why someone would want to get dressed up 3 years later and take “wedding” pictures. They’re not images of the day you got married, not even close! So, why does it matter so much?!
Post # 10
@Eradicatereality: I don’t have any issues with what you’re talking about at all because you’re not attempting to use other people as props, you know?
This is kind of off topic but on our wedding day our photographer was posing us in various shots. At one point she tried to instruct my husband to sit on the train of my dress as I stood. He just gave her this look like she’d just sprouted a second head and just gave her an emphatic no. I don’t know where she got that particular idea from, but holy cow what a dumb idea for a picture.
Post # 11
@Zhabeego: It is strange. When i think of perfect, i think of artistic, gorgeous lighting, capturing people in their natural state with smiles, laughter and all their beautiful imperfections. 🙂
Post # 12
@Zhabeego: Lol that’s so weird/funny! And for the not using othe people as props, that’s really it exactly. Someone in some post (not my words) called the brial party “living props” and that really reasonated with me. I don’t begruge anyone their choices or judge anyone for wanting a tiny or huge bridal party if that’s their choice, but hearing that phrasing really clicked for me about why I didn’t want to.
I get wanting your closest friends to celebrate with you, and be there for all the moments, and I’m going to ask a close girlfriend or two to get ready with me, but I never understand wanting other people to stand there next to you during the ceremony. That was the part the confused me… btu I’m only marrying my Fiance. Why are all these other people up here with us? I don’t know. Again, I’m not judging and I have nothing against other people doing it, but I think that’s really what it was for me—I didn’t want to feel like I had people there as living props, when the ceremony is really just about Fiance and I publicly affirming our us-ness. 😛
Post # 13
@Zhabeego: Thank you, thank you. I have friends who are in the wedding photography and videography businesses, so I see it ALLLL the time. I hate it. Why try to capture “memories” that don’t even come CLOSE to representing who you really are??! Shouldn’t your wedding day be the culmination of REAL, LOVING people/memories/feelings instead of some fake dress-up day that everything has to be perfect for?
Post # 14
@Zhabeego: +1000000 SPOT ON! I don’t know how many times I’ve bitched about this topic on The Bee but it really gets under my skin.
Is the goal to have pictures of someone else’s wedding? Good grief, if the purpose of wedding photos is to be able to recapture that day, why do people only want photos of staged shots? You might as well put on your dress and have your pics taken 2 months in advance. So much of it has lost all meaning. Seriously, just because a bride may look her best on her wedding day doesn’t mean she’s super model material and has a right to be a jerk and deem others too ugly for her photos.
Post # 15
Sorry, but this thread is making me laugh. If I wanted “perfect” pictures my wrinkled face wouldn’t be in them lol.
Agree 100000000000% People are not props.
Post # 16
I was looking at a friend’s wedding pictures once, and the bride had been photoshopped to lose about 20 pounds. She looked great in them. Unfortunately, looking at the pics and then at her, it looked like she gained about 50 pounds. I get wanting photos of you looking your best, but there’s a limit. When people don’t even recognize you, its time to stop.