(Closed) What is the purpose of a promise ring?

posted 3 years ago in Rings
Post # 31
Member
313 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

Unlike lots of posters here I think you can promise whatever you want, not just marriage. My husband got me a promise ring after our one year anniversary. We were 19, he promised to stay committed but didn’t promise me marriage right then, which would have freaked me out anyways. I didn’t switch it to my left ring finger until we were 3 years in. I agree with the notion it is something younger couples do to show they take their relationship seriously but aren’t ready for marriage just yet 

Post # 32
Member
2677 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

It would be considered a representation of commitment before engagement is appropriate. I wore a promise ring for years from my now husband that came with / represented the promise that he would propose once I finalized my divorce from my ex.

Post # 33
Member
1331 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

There seem to be some very cynical bees here!  I have never had a promise ring, nor have i ever known anyone who had one but I think the concept is sweet.  

For those who think its dumb or silly, the good news is you dont ever have to have one!  

Post # 34
Member
10080 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

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cmsgirl :  

 I know I know, I mean  if some people want to stay virgin til the marry for some reason fine I guess, but publically advertising your sexual status , well just no. 

Purity is for foodstuffs and  chemicals, nothing to do with sex or abstinence therefrom. 

There  are some seriously creepy pictures of fathers with daughters going to ‘purity’ balls or some such, in white dresses  – but apparently  they are not all that popular thank  goodness .The guy who invented them is called Randy Wilso, which  to non- Americans is particualrly  exquisite as ‘randy’ means hanging  out for sex in all other Anglo- speaking places . 

Love this quote from the the Jezebel website “ purity balls, right?! The ones that are like “put on a white dress, hold a white rose, dance with your dad, sign a contract to Ziploc your vagina, and also it’s sorrrrrt of like you’re marrying your dad but shhh?” Those? As it turns out, they’re not as ubiquitous as it initially seemed. Which is GREAT, ’cause if you were to ask Alex Trebek to give you Bizarre, Oppressive Prisons For Women Built On The Paper-Thin Excuse Of Religion for 400, this would be right up there with silent birth.”

 

Sorry,  bit of a threadjack . 

 

Post # 35
Member
275 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2006

I was seventeen/eighteen when an old boyfriend gave me a promise ring. He took me to a fancy restaurant and told me he ‘promised’ we would get married one day. 

A waitress saw and started freaking out because she thought we were getting engaged.

I thought it was sweet but even though we did get engaged later, we never married.

I am very happy we didn’t.

Post # 36
Member
913 posts
Busy bee

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furmama44 :  exactly this. I’ve received 2 promise rings while I was a teen from 2 different boyfriends. No promise of marriage. It was a promise of commitment. Sorta like when a boyfriend gives his girlfriend his class ring or Letterman jacket. It’s a symbol of his live and commitment. 

The 1st ring I received was a load of crap since he was a serial cheater. The 2nd ring came from my SO. We’ve been dating for many years.

Post # 37
Member
129 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2004

I cringed when I saw this topic because I knew that readers would post unwarranted opinions, and I was right. The OP never asked for opinions; she asked for factual information. Please think about how your judgments of a “dumb” or “silly” promise ring could be considered rude to others. I don’t understand how any form of commitment could be seen as anything less than beautiful regardless if it’s not our taste or style or within our realm of understanding. There’s enough hate in this world. Celebrate love.

 

 

 

Post # 38
Member
4239 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Once upon a time I was 22 and my boyfriend gave me a promise ring.  He told me when he gave it to me that he basically promised to love me for the rest of my life.  Not necessarily promising an engagement, but to love me in some fashion forever…  Honestly I don’t even know him anymore.  He has been blocked on my social media for 5 years since our break up and I have no desire to even think about being his friend again.  We have a lot of mutual friends, so that’s why I’ve kept him blocked.  Our breakup was messy, and I admittedly held onto a lot of anger toward him for a long time.  I also pawned that sucker a looooong time ago, which felt great haha.

I admittedly wore the promise ring on my left ring finger.  I definitely wouldn’t have done that if I had received the ring later on in my life.  My husband also didn’t waste time when he knew he wanted to spend his life with me, and initiated a conversation about if we were on the same page with our relationship.

Post # 39
Member
40 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2019

Contrary to the prior comments, promise rings are not “ridiculous” or for teenagers. Just because you wouldn’t want or wear one or maybe never been given one don’t be so negative. My fiancé bought me a promise ring in that he promises to one day replace it with an engagement ring when he has the money to do so. Promise rings can be found in just about every jewelry store and typically cost less than engagement rings. 

This is my promise ring. That I now wear one my right hand because I still love it and what it represented.

My now engagement ring 

They may be more of an American thing but basically just a symbol of commitment and love. 

Post # 40
Member
21 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2018

It seems like the people who hate promise rings or think they’re a waste of money or silly always have to let everyone know. My Fiance gave me a promise ring on our first dating anniversary. We were both 16. I wasn’t a big jewelry wearer in my teens, so a bracelet or necklace would have gone unworn, but I never took that ring off until we got engaged last July. Personally I think that promise rings are sweet. Just because you think promise rings are stupid or for kids or always represent a promise that will end up broken doesn’t mean you have to put down those who gave or received promise rings. 

Post # 41
Member
1393 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2020

I had/have a promise ring! We were 18 at the time he gave it to me, and it was a promise to remain committed to our relationship as we were starting long distance that ended up lasting 2 years. It was also a reminder for me to look at and smile throughout my days without him. Our parents didn’t get it, but I loved it and did wear it on my left hand to get used to wearing a daily ring. 

For us, it was saying “Hey, I’m serious about our relationship and see a future with you, but we’re too young/not ready for that full commitment yet.” 

The year leading up to our engagement, I wore it less since it never fit propoerly (half size too big) and started looking childish in professional settings. He made me a wood ring (just a band, maple) that I wore in its place for a time, before getting my engagement ring.

I think they’re really sweet! Especially for young couples, it can show your serious, even if your too young to make a true commitment. We’ve had two other close friends give/receive promise rings (also dating young/long distance), and they’ve also loved them. I think it’s comparable to a guy giving a girl his class ring or a pin, like a pp mentioned.

Promise Ring – Not my specific one, but the exact model/style of it.Screen Shot 2017-08-21 at 8.20.24 AM

Engagement ring (which I LOVE. It helps to have a ring that fits right! haha)

2

Post # 42
Member
1213 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

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jayquellen :  I have seen your ring a couple of times now and have fawned over it!  Is that the Brilliant Earth Hudson?  And your diamond is impeccable.  I am very color sensitive, and it is truly gorgeous. 

Post # 43
Member
104 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2018 - Park Winters, Winters, CA

My fiancé gave me one after a year of dating to signify our commitment to eachother. Like others have said, it was a promise to one day marry. We were much too young at the time to get married, but we somehow knew we’d get there. It is a three stone diamond ring, each stone meaning one of three things: past, present, and future. Also, I wore it on my left ring finger and only removed it once we got engaged. Now I wear it on a chain around my neck. 

Post # 44
Member
1393 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2020

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bridetobe2018 :  Thank you! I actually have no idea what the spec on the diamond are, it was my grandma’s. She got it around 1957-58 and it’s .33-.4ct. 

According to my mom, she originally had it as a solitaire, but when I got it, it was in this setting, which I didn’t like at all for a wedding set.

Small_before

So we had it reset into an Esty band from a jewler in New York. Here’s the setting – https://www.etsy.com/listing/203840302/solitaire-hand-engraved-proposal-ring?ga_search_query=cathedral&ref=shop_items_search_3

I am so happy with the result. Just got the matching wedding band 2 weeks ago and I can’t wait to have them soddered together when we get married.

IMG_20180103_082601_2

The best part is that it’s so light and comfortable to wear for everyday use. Even with the band, the width of the two combined is a little less than 4mm. It’s really nice.

Post # 45
Member
1213 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

View original reply
jayquellen :  I love it!  Thanks for sharing!  Stalking etsy seller now.. having serious issues deciding on a wedding band. 

 

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