What is the purpose of a promise ring?

posted 2 years ago in Rings
Post # 46
Member
393 posts
Helper bee

I’m from the UK too and have always wondered what a promise ring was,I’ve heard of commitment rings but nobody I know has one. (I originally thought my Fiance was giving me a commitment ring when he asked for my ring size…turned out to be ering haha) 

I don’t get promise or commitment rings… I always just thought having that conversation about marrying one day when ready was enough. Each to their own.

Post # 47
Member
212 posts
Helper bee

We aren’t kids, but my SO bought me one recently as a placeholder. To show he’s serious about marrying me, once his divorce is resolved.

Post # 48
Member
734 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

I’m not a kid, but I have a weird reason for getting a promise ring. I was sick of getting hit on at the gym. We got a small thin silicone band to wear to the gym and BAM – number of creepy guys cut in half instantly. It was wonderful, and only cost 12 dollars. 

Post # 49
Member
5889 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

cmsgirl :  And just for the daughters, right?  SMH.  That’s so messed up.

Post # 50
Member
1950 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

I’m not into promise rings. I view them as kids playing pretend at engagement. However, for younger couples it’s a lot more acceptable than for adult couples. Once you’re an adult (18), I think this premise is silly. Either you’re old enough and ready for engagement and marriage, or you’re not.

If someone is older and their SO tries to give them a promise ring instead of proposing, it’s a lame stalling tactic.

Post # 51
Member
1000 posts
Bumble bee

IMO the entire notion is silly, but if people find comfort in having them, great for them. It makes no sense, but keep doing you. :p

Post # 52
Member
41 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2019

knotyet :  it’s definitely not a stalling tactic 🙄 . Some people know they would like to get married but financially cannot. Promise rings are cheaper and can be a placeholder until a more expensive engagement ring can be bought. If it’s not your thing whatever, don’t see how any form of love and commitment can be seen as silly and childish thing.

Post # 53
Member
67 posts
Worker bee

When I was in high school a now ex boyfriend gave me a promise ring (I never asked for it). I have no idea what he was promising but it definitely wasn’t faithfulness because he was a seriel cheater! I honestly think he wanted to give me a ring so that everyone would think we were a happy, perfect couple when we clearly weren’t. He also gave one to his next girlfriend.. who he also cheated on lol. 

Post # 54
Member
1950 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

chanee95 :  Getting married is not expensive. You pay for the marriage license and that’s it. People can have expensive weddings or rings, but that’s not necessary to get married. If someone wants to get engaged and married, but does not have enough money for the desired engagement ring, they can still get engaged and go without a ring, or get a stand in or temporary engagement ring. What’s the point of calling it a promise ring and having that in between stage before engagement and marriage? It’s especially silly when wearing the promise ring on the left ring finger; it’s like pretending to be engaged.

It’s not like my view is uncommon. Several bees on this thread and other promise ring threads have commented the same.

Post # 55
Member
41 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2019

knotyet :  it’s only pretending to be engaged if you’re lying about what it actually is. And how about some people don’t just want to jump into a marriage. There is no in between stage of engagement and marriage. People who choose to have a promise ring get it before engagement. Pretty sure someone can wear their ring on whichever finger they’d like, didn’t know there were rules for that. And people where the engagement ring on the left hand because it’s closest to the heart. A promise ring can’t have that much meaning to someone? As I said before if you wouldn’t like one then fine but don’t down it for someone else.

Post # 56
Member
150 posts
Blushing bee

My boyfriend of 5 years gave me one after dating 3 months when we were 19 from walmart it was very similar to the photo below. I still have it somewhere i just dont wear it anymore because we never got it sized 

Post # 57
Member
22 posts
Newbee

I was given a promise ring when I was 17. It was like 100 dollars and it is the most important piece of jewelry so far ;). We are now almost 24 and for us in high school it was we are still bf and gf but committed kind of like “going steady” in older terms and wearing a high school class ring. the promises can mean different things. I just love my ring and it symbolizes to other men that I am taken as well. I know promise rings can seem “silly” but to my relationship it means a lot that someone cares enough to flaunt that we are together 🙂 

Post # 58
Member
2 posts
Wannabee

chanee95 :  I agree with knotyet. This may seem strange to you but in my case my boyfriend and I are 24 years old I just gave him (yes I am a woman) a promise ring, in a private setting, just a couple of days ago because we have been friends for 20 years (dating 4 amazing months now) and I just got divorced from another man. I am not quite completely financially stable after the divorce and my bf just got a new job and not quite financially stable yet either. I wanted to give him something meaningful to show him I am completely in love with him, 100% committed to our relationship, and not playing any games. He gladly accepted the ring and absolutely loves it. He wants to propose to me in a public and romantic setting when he saves up enough money to buy me an engagement ring. 

Post # 59
Member
734 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

My cousin and her brand new husband started dating in middle school. They were together through middle school, high school, separate colleges, and now they are married and the happiest, most perfect, photo-inside-a-new-picture-frame couple. When they were going there separate ways to two different colleges, he gave her a promise ring. That is, he promised that he’d be faithful while he was away. True to his word, he was. 

A month after finishing college he replaced the promise ring with a diamond ring of the exact same style, and she wears the promise ring on her right hand now. I think that’s the most romantic story I’ve ever heard, and it makes the promise ring thing seem totally legit. 

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