(Closed) What is the shortest time you've known someone before asking them to be a BM?

posted 5 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: What is the shortest time you've known someone before asking them to be a bridesmaid?
    Less than 1 year : (4 votes)
    8 %
    1-2 years : (6 votes)
    13 %
    2-3 years : (9 votes)
    19 %
    3-5 years : (14 votes)
    29 %
    5+ years : (15 votes)
    31 %
  • Post # 2
    8686 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2013

    I had 6 bridesmaids. The one girl that I knew for the least amount of time I was friends with for 6 years.

    Post # 3
    1731 posts
    Bumble bee

    somanyletters:  I have four bridesmaids. One I’ve known for 20+ years (MOH), then there is one I’ve known for about 6. The other two I met after I moved to a new city 4 years ago, and we became really close. I’ve been friends with them for 2-3 years 🙂

    Post # 4
    2493 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    I had 6 bridesmaids. The one I knew for the least amount of time was 4 years (my FSIL). The others were friends of 12+ years, my sisters and my cousin.

    Post # 5
    766 posts
    Busy bee

    I was in a wedding where I had only known the bride about a year when she asked me. I was kind of surprised, though it did make the wedding more fun for me since I wouldn’t have known anyone else there if I wasn’t a bridesmaid!

    For my wedding, the bridesmaid I’ve known the least amount of time is my sister, who will be 15 at the time!  My other two bridesmaids will be a friend I’ve known all her 31 years and another I’ve known for 20 years.

    Post # 6
    557 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    My Future In-Laws are the bridesmaids I’ve known for the least amount of time, 3 years. The rest I’ve been friends with since middle or high school, 7-10 years.

    Post # 7
    9097 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2012

    I had four bridesmaids. One was my husband’s cousin, I had known her less than a year and I had only met/spoken to her once. The other was the best man’s wife. I had spoken to her a lot during the time of my relationship with my husband but I had never met her until the day before the wedding.

    Post # 8
    2697 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: January 2015

    I have 5 BMs. My Maid/Matron of Honor and 1 bridesmaid are my first cousins, I’ve known them my whole life. 1 Bridesmaid or Best Man is a friend I met through a mutual friend and we became close; 5 years. (I was her Bridesmaid or Best Man when I knew her for less than a year). My other 2 BMs I met through my Fiance, I’ve known them both for about a year. One I’ve become really close with and one I haven’t hung out with as much, but she’s been good friend with my Fiance for over 15 years.

    It’s a tricky situation the choosing of the BMs. My brother’s girlfriend was so upset I didn’t ask her that she now refuses to talk to me and just says ‘I know where I stand with you’. Whatever that means. Caused a lot of family drama over it. It really hurt me at first, but if that’s how she’s acting obviously we were never really friends in the first place.

    Post # 9
    1166 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: January 2015

    I have two that “asked” me to be bridesmaids (really told me they were, they are significant others of groomsmen and were upset they weren’t bridesmaids, I’ve met both of these women maybe two times in my life).  I didn’t say yes, I told them I already have a large bridal party and the girls already have their dresses, etc., but they “insisted” so now I have two that I hardly know.  I am not particularly happy about it (especially since I bought my girls’ dresses, am paying for 3 nights at the (expensive) hotel, hair/makeup/gifts/etc.) but honestly if it avoids drama whatever works!  At least they’ll be in the same hotel rooms as their (relatively recent) boyfriends.  Ugh.  

    Post # 11
    11461 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2009

    Three of my bridesmaids were DH’s daughters and daughter in law, and I only knew them for about a year prior to our wedding.

    Post # 12
    1888 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    I had 6 bridesmaids. My 2 sisters, 2 SILs (had known them for almost 7 years at the time of the wedding), my Maid/Matron of Honor was my best friend from HS (known her for 9 years), and my college roommate who I had known for over 5 years. I gained a 3rd SIL during our engagement kind of out of the blue (BIL got married after knowing her for 6 weeks), and did not include her as a bridesmaid. 

    Post # 13
    2878 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2015

    MrsTywinLannister: ugh. i’m sorry to hear that. I set the expectation with Fiance that I am having zero obligatory bridal party members because that is unfair to us. 

    I mentioned to him that I would appreciate it if he asked my brothers to be his groomsmen, but would also understand if he would rather they not be in his wedding party. 

    Post # 14
    1377 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2015

    somanyletters:  I’ll have 3 BMs. My Maid/Matron of Honor I’ve known for 5 years. One Bridesmaid or Best Man I’ve known for 4.5 years. One Bridesmaid or Best Man I’ve known for about 10 years. I would have asked her to be the Maid/Matron of Honor, but she’s been having some life-shattering problems, and I didn’t want to exacerbate any stress she’s been having. I considered asking FI’s sister to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man, but she’ll have a young child there, and we’re not close. I also was asked to consider having my sisters be BMs, who would be 15 and 13, but I didn’t want that many BMs, nor are they anywhere mature enough to not fight the entire time or hide someplace for most of it. My mother still isn’t that happy about that decision, but they’ll have their own unique jobs. 


    I agree with PP that having obligatory bridal party people really isn’t fair to the couple, and I would say it also isn’t that fair to the obligatory bridal party people. 

    Post # 15
    6524 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: September 2013

    somanyletters:  i had 4 BMs. My Maid/Matron of Honor was my sister. Then there were mt ywo girlfriends, one who I knew for over 10 years, the other about 7 years. Then there was my SIL who I knew for 10 years. 

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