Post # 1
I don’t get this thing where couples go out and buy rings and wait until a certain time to be “officially engaged.” You have the ring. You both have agreed that you want to get married and be together. Why do you need the big display and have the guy get down on one knee and all that jazz? Why not just start planning and get married already?
Then again, I’m the kind of girl who told my guy over and over again that I didn’t need a ring and that I just wanted to marry him, and then when he finally did, I’m the one who wanted to elope. He’s the traditional one who wanted to save up and to go out and buy a fancy ring (which I had no clue about) and is now the reason why we’re doing the big wedding shindig.
Just curious if anyone can shed some light for me. I’m always interested in looking at things from different perspectives.
Or does anyone agree with me? I just can’t wrap my head around it.
Post # 3
Since you have only 27 posts under your belt, I will say… Be careful not to attack the way other people do things just because it’s different than how you’d do it. It’s against the Wedding Bee policy.
Post # 4
For some people, the game doesn’t start until they sing the Star Spangled Banner…sure, your in the stadium, you’ve got a beer, but that game isn’t on until we all drag out the word BRAAAAAAAAAAAVVVVVE….same thing really…just with rings.
Post # 5
We’d been talking about marriage for a while and considered it official when he asked “the question”, the ring came a few weeks later.
Post # 6
I think it’s different for each couple, but I suppose it’s just another one of those things that we do because it’s a convention in our society. Why do we cook turkey on Thanksgiving? Why do we do presents at Xmas? Etc.
I think part of it is also that some ladies really want rings. I am one of those girls, so wouldn’t consider myself officially engaged until it was on my finger. A bit silly, maybe.. like we have agreed we want to marry, we just haven’t bought the ring yet. Some women are waiting for the guys to propose, and haven’t had that conversation yet.
I couldn’t care less about having a fancy wedding. I would be happy eloping the day I got the ring. Different strokes for different folks I guess.
ETA: I think also people expect to see a ring, so it’s a bit weird to explain ‘oh well I am getting a ring, we just don’t have it yet’. So if you are planning on getting a ring, it’s just easier to announce it to the world when you have a ring to show.
Post # 7
Ritual, custom, tradition, a meaningful symbolic moment to remember always as the marker of your decision to be together always.
Why celebrate your birthday? It’s just a random day of the year that happens to be the same month name and number of the one you were born… and it probably didn’t take all day for you to be born, either. Surely people can appreciate each other without a special day set aside for it? They can, and some people don’t celebrate birthdays. But if you do, I bet you can understand the idea of symbolism and custom.
Post # 8
@7monthbride: Seriously? How is that an attack? I see posts like this all the time. I’m not saying that what anyone’s doing is wrong.
Post # 9
@7monthbride: I am not sure she’s attacking. I wasn’t offended by her post. I’ve seen posts worded much worse that really do hit nerves.
Post # 10
We’re not “officially engaged” yet. The ring is bought. We know what month we’ll get married and other logistics. However, it is not something we have announced to the world. My parents know nothing in regards to the ring and other plans. A few of our closest friends do, but not the general public.
Just like when two people are dating, they usually don’t call things official until they want to be seen to the outside world as a couple. Same thing here. When we’re ready to be seen by everyone as an engaged couple, it will be official.
And besides, a lot of guys like to get down on a knee and propose. I’m not going to deny him that.
Post # 11
When you annouce you are engaged everyone asks how he proposed. Usually most people would love to have a great story to tell 🙂
Post # 12
Clarification: I wasn’t offended nor did I say I was. I just see the potential for this to go South quickly and with all the threads I’ve seen closed the past few weeks, I wouldn’t be shocked if this ended being one of them as many girls look forward to being “officially engaged” because the experience is fun for them. Just tried to warn a new bee. My bad, I’ll bug outta here. *pun intended for “bug outta here”*
Post # 13
I think some women like to be involved in picking out the ring, but still want their boyfriend or girlfriend to find a special way to ask for their hand in marriage. It’s a big moment and a big decision, so it’s sweet when there’s some effort put into it. My fiance and I mutually agreed to get married and there wasn’t an “actual proposal”. Although I am perfectly fine with how we got engaged he wishes that he had done something more. The proposal isn’t always for the women. Men get usually satisfaction out of doing something special for their girls.
Post # 14
@Nona99: This is possibly the best way I’ve ever heard it put.
He bought the ring. I know he’s going to propose. But do I need him to? Nope. Did I even need a ring? Nope. I’m more concerned about being legally married than being engaged. He’s the one that wants to be more traditional about it all. We’re a unit. I won’t make him give up his ideal way of being “engaged” just because I don’t feel it’s necessary to me.
Post # 15
@Nona99 haha! I always love your responses. Couldn’t have said it better myself 🙂
Post # 16
we wer engaged secretly since i meet him. no ring but we considered it “official’ when we finaly told everyone we were getting maried and when. he had an idea to do a fake proposal to take pictures, and i did this –> o__O and he soon droped that idea xD
but yeah so dont get the “not engaged without a ring” thing.