Post # 1
Has anyone out there experienced twin pregnancy (directly or indirectly) and willing to share what it was like? Were you/your friend really concerned about complications and early delivery? Was having two deliveries/newborns double the work, or was it in some ways easier or more efficient to have them at the same time instead of spaced out over a period of a few years? Another child to play with, one maternity leave off of work, etc.? I really don’t know the answers to these questions but would like to.
I would love to hear from some moms who have had twins or those with friends who have been through the process. It looks like we will be doing IVF and because I am busy with a career ‘track’ for the foreseeable few years, our doctor has mentioned that as long as we are aware of the increased risks of twin pregnancy, he would be willing to transfer two embryos (a higher chance of twins).
Anyone willing to share what it is like to have twins, both in pregnancy and as newborns (either your own experience or a friend)?
Post # 2
I can’t share too much as it was not me but talking to the only twin mama (boy and girl) I know, she was lucky and only delivered two weeks early which is normal anyway! She loves her kids and having twins, she would not have it any other way. Best of luck with IVF, trust your gut, it will work out how it is meant to in the end x
Post # 3
I have a friend who had twin girls with IVF. They just turned a year old and although it’s hard to have two babies she always says that she doesn’t know any other way so it is what it is. I love her outlook lol, but I feel like I can’t complain around her!
Also, her babies were a few weeks early and born via c-section.
Post # 4
How old are you?
One of my fellow NCT mums had IVF boy girl twins. She was over 40 and had had 4 failed rounds of IVF prior to this. That is the only reason they put two embryos back. In the UK there are very strict rules governing IVF and they wouldn’t risk multiple pregnancy unless you have a situation like that and are fit and well.
She is a surgeon and took the shortest maternity leave of our group (6 months – we get 52 weeks in the UK) but when she went back she only did private patients and therefore just did a clinic on a weekend and 1 – 2 surgery days a week. She had full time help in the shape of either her or her husband’s mum. The babies also went to nursery. She had a c section as they wouldn’t let her attempt a natural birth. This was partly because twin 2 was breech but mostly because she had already had quite extensive uterine surgery.
Not going to lie – she struggled, she found it hard to breastfeed and juggling 2 babies was tough. often she would only bring one to baby group (leaving the other one with Granny) and then usually the girl as she was is a lot calmer than her brother. To add to this mix she got pregnant again naturally and has just had baby #3. The twins are 15 months old.
We started the process of IVF but thankfully fell pregnant naturally before we started our first round. Despite me having a professional career and knowing I would take the full year off, it was never an option to have 2 embryos implanted.
If I am honest, I would not do it just because you have a professional / busy career. In the states (where I assume you are) you get so little maternity leave anyway that trying to recover and deal with twins plus the risks associated with multiple birth, just wouldn’t be worth it for me.
Post # 5
I’m 31 and living in Canada, but we wouldn’t be starting the process until 1-2 years from now. In Canada, the government would cover our IVF, and also provides from 12-18 months maternity leave. We will be relocating to the US after this pregnancy for work reasons, which is why I am leaning towards the possibility of transferring two embryos so I can make use of this extended mat leave while I have it. In my line of work, I’m wary of taking multiple leaves for multiple pregnancies, so in that respect I also find the idea appealing.
Post # 6
I have twin brothers (I have two singletons myself) and my mother was lucky to carry them full term and they were born around 37 weeks (vaginally) at 6lbs and 7lbs without any issues pregnancy/post birth. I know it gave her pelvic floor issues that carrying me did not which she still deals with to this day. She breastfed but also supplemented with formula since they were so demanding to nurse 2. I can only imagine as I been pregnant or breastfeeding for the last 5 years and it takes a lot out with just one baby! I can’t imagine having twins is “more efficient”, when my second was born my oldest was 2.5 and at least old enough I didn’t have to follow her 24/7. I would never wish for twins due to the (very real) risks and complications that can arise but if you get them then you love them and you make it work! But there are very real risks for a twin pregnancy, many twin babies are born premature and premature babies can have very serious health complications. I would never choose those risks voluntarily. Definitely give it some research. I know other twin mamas whose babies have had complications from premature birth. If I were in your shoes I would try to get pregnant naturally and if one baby you have to take less leave time then that is what I would do.
Post # 7
I understand being wary of taking two leaves close together – but I will be 100% honest here – F them! I have mentioned that I work in a professional career. I am 34 and pregnant with #2. I got back from mat leave 1 in March this year. If a company is going to be as crappy as making an issue about a woman having mat leave – then they are not a company I want to work for.
If you plan to relocate to the US anyway it won’t matter if you take two leaves close together.
In your situation I wouldn’t even contemplate it tbh – Twins carry more risk and hard and there is no pressing reason to do so.
Post # 8
I have twins. I was worried about complications but my pregnancy was fairly easy. I did deliver early, but luckily my children had no long term health issues. However, the risks are still there and very real. I know other people who had twins even more premature and were in the NICU for months.
I can’t compare what having twins is like compared to one a time, but I can’t imagine it being easier. The first year is brutal. Having one pregnancy is nice, but I don’t think it outweighs all the other concerns with having twins.
Post # 9
I have an acquaintance who just had twins. They were born at 34-35 weeks I think, at 4 pounds and change. They’re now 6 weeks old and doing well. I would be intimidated though, in part by the potential for complications and in part because it seems like one baby at a time can be difficult enough! 😬
Post # 10
I️ have toddler twins via IVF. First thing- don’t let fear influence your decisions. There are risks with single pregnancies also. Singletons can be born premature also. And when people say twins are at risk of being born prematurely- 37 weeks is considered premature. Stats of significant premature is much much lower.
I️ personally had a good pregnancy, and delivered at 38.3 weeks via planned csection. 2 at once is hard. But you don’t know any other way so you do it. I️ didn’t breastfeed, so anyone could help feeding newborns. We put them on a really good routine (after few months), of feedings, naps, night sleep which made parenting much easier (no on demand). Logistically it is harder to get out of the house with 2, and sometimes I️ take 1 and husband takes 1 if we are running errands on weekends. We babyproofed our house so don’t have to constantly chase 2. I️ can be playing with 1 and not worry if her sister is walking around the house. It’s hard…but not “that” hard if it makes sense. Fear of it was worse. It gets easier as they get older. Honestly, watching friends with young toddler and a newborn (if you want 2 kids) sounds harder. What I️ found when pregnant with twins is that a lot of people were so negative in their comments and I️ can’t recount how many “omg poor you, twins “ comments I️ got.
Post # 11
I am currently 34 weeks with a singleton pregnancy after infertility. I have a medical issue that means I really shouldn’t carry twins, so my doctor and my MFM were both on the same page about ONLY single transfers (although IVF actually gives higher odds of identicals as well). In my infertility pregnancy group, there are two women who were due after me with twins (one set of identical and one set of fraternal). Identical twins arrived at almost 27 weeks and one is having a really rough time, the other is doing well. Both will be in the NICU for months, though, and for the last month it has been touch and go for the smaller one several times. The fraternal twins arrived at almost 30 weeks and are doing relatively well for their gestational age (they were also the size of singletons for their gestational age, which is not common), but will likely spend about 2 months in the NICU. That’s not to say every twin pregnancy ends with a premature delivery, but the odds of it happening are certainly much higher than with a singleton.
Knowing what i know about twins, I don’t think I’d take the chance. I want to give my baby every chance of having a healthy, on-time arrival into the outside world that I can, which for me would mean only single embryo transfers (even if that weren’t a pre-existing limitation for me).
Post # 12
I had twins 3 months ago a girl and boy, in my case it was due to my “advanced maternal age” I’m 35 turning 36, I also have a 2 and a half year old little boy. I can honestly say I was much more concerned about the twin pregnancy and delivery than I was with my first. Twin pregnancies have a much higher risk of preterm labour, low birth weight and c-section. I was very lucky and went full term, I was induced at 37 weeks 5 days. Twin a my baby girl was head down and twin b baby boy was breech. They prepped for a breech extraction and but I was fortunate that after I delivered my little girl her brother flipped and ended up head down. He did spend a few hours in the nicu due to fluid in his lungs but was perfectly healthy otherwise. My baby girl came out weighing 7lbs 9ozs and her brother was 6lbs 6ozs so both were large for twins. I will say I’m glad I had a single baby first because the second time I knew what to expect. I know several moms of twins who found breastfeeding two to be a huge struggle and extremely demanding who decided to formula feed instead. Having nursed my oldest for 9 months I felt a lot more comfortable breastfeeding and was able to push through the insanely challenging first 6 weeks, if the twins were my first I probably would have switched to formula. My biggest challenge is splitting time equally between the two, my baby girl is very needed, screams constantly and always wants to be held, her brother is just very calm and happy so he ends up getting less attention.
Post # 13
Let me preface this by saying my twin nieces are now 8 and are the happiest and healthiest little girls around. However, my SIL’s water broke at 27 weeks and my nieces weighed in at just under 2 lbs at birth. They were in the NICU for about 12 weeks and had a lot of medical issues during that time. They received amazing care and as I said, are now you would never know their start was so rough. On the flip side, I know plenty of other twins or mothers of twins who had completely normal pregnancies. I know my SIL expressed the hardest part after they were home and healthy was the feeling that you couldn’t give either one of them as much as individual attention as you do with one baby. She is a Stay-At-Home Mom and my nephew was around 3 at the time so her plate was extremely full. I don’t think she or my brother had a full night’s sleep for a long time.
Post # 14
One of my husband’s best friends had twin babies last year, a boy and a girl. I think she and her husband were getting ready to do IVF when she got pregnant – they’d been together since high school and married quite a while but unable to conceive. She ended up losing weight during the pregnancy – went from about a size 12-14 to a size 6 after she delivered (via C-section). It was like they used up all her nutrients or something, haha. I don’t recall their size when they were born but they were healthy. We visited them when the babies were just a couple months old and she was telling me how she couldn’t get comfortable or sleep well toward the later stages of her pregnancy. She had to sleep in a different room than her husband because she tossed and turned, or would turn the light on to read. She did have to go on bedrest the last few weeks if I recall correctly.
My husband’s brother also has twins, a boy and a girl as well. They’re about 3 now. They’re a handful and it’s interesting to watch them because they definitely have that twin language thing happening. They understand what people say to them but they aren’t great at communicating back yet. They talk to each other, though!
I will honestly freak out so much if I have twins. I want two kids but one at a time! It seems like so much work.