(Closed) What is with all the incompetent men?

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
4272 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I think its all an act!

Post # 4
1427 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@MrsFuzzyFace:  I know for sure my dad is not incompetent… but he is careless. He’s broken enough dishes now where my mom doesn’t let him wash dishes. He’s also destroyed enough things in the dryer where he’s also banned from laundry. At times I seriously wonder if he’s actually did those things on purpose to avoid doing chores at my parents’ house.

Post # 5
1853 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I think my idea of competent and FI’s idea is two TOTALLY different things. To me, a nice dinner is some grilled tofu chicken, some garden veggies with a garlic butter sauce, a fruit of some kind, and some chocolate mouse. (This is what’s for dinner today!)

Fiance will “cook dinner” and we’ll have pizza, or if I’m lucky-pre made meals from fresh and easy!

I’ll seperate the laundry, use fabric softener, use woolite with the darks and bleach with the whiles. Dryer sheets at the end and folded all nice

Fiance will buy tide cold water and EVERYTHING is together >.<

Fiance with either insist on buying his lunch EVERY DAY or throwing out his gladware (It SAYS disposable MissFireFlower. That means it’s ok for me to toss it)

Ahh! Men…>.>

Post # 6
335 posts
Helper bee

When my mother met my father, he wasn’t able to boil water, or grocery shop (without spending a fortune), he actually knows how to cook some things, now.  He was raised in an extremely traditional household.  Dad comes home, the ladies move to the kitchen.  The boys didn’t learn how to cook, they worked in the fields, but that was the end of their responsibility outside of school. 

My brother, on the other hand, loves to cook.  There are men out there who were raised as… for lack of a better term… “boys.”  They weren’t required to learn “girl” things, such as cooking, laundry, cleaning.  They usually mowed the lawns, or did physical labor like taking out the trash.

On the other hand, there are a number of women, now, who also have no bloody clue what to do in the kitchen, or the laundry room, or wherever.

Post # 7
1583 posts
Bumble bee

@MrsFuzzyFace: a lot of cultures are into gender roles and dont teach boy to take care of themselves. the women they choose enable this behavior

Post # 8
993 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

maybe our expectations are just too high… lol oh man.  i’m still in the phase where these things are cute and/or silly and/or whatever.


Post # 9
1902 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Things are pretty much the opposite in our house! My fiance cooks and cleans like a champion (he can’t do laundry though), and I’m the one that does the “manly” jobs around the house. I grew up on a farm with a dad who was a big of a McGyver – he could fix anything, so if anything’s broken around the house or the car’s not working, I’m usually the one doing that.

I still do my share of the cleaning though, especially because I’m only working part-time at the moment

Post # 10
7387 posts
Busy Beekeeper

@MrsFuzzyFace:  This has me wondering are men really that incompetent at these things or do they just pretend to be in order to get us to do what they would prefer not do?

The majority of the men that I know and socialize with, do not behave in this manner. Most of them not only cook but they are damn good cooks. Alot of them can not tolerate an unclean home and have no problem picking up after themselves. So when I read threads about men who can’t do basic laundry it boggles my mind. My FH completely out does me when it comes to household chores. And he’s an amazing cook. Sure,I think some weren’t “taught” but also think many are just plain old lazy. And they play dumb in the hopes that their partners will pick up the slack.

But on the other hand I’ve learned that many chicks aren’t necessarily the cleanest ones either.  There are quite of few sloopy ass chics that lack proper home training as well. 

Post # 11
6355 posts
Bee Keeper

They’re just there to make our men look good Wink

But seriously, everyone (man or woman) is not very skillful at something.

I’m lucky in that my Fiance is very good with domestic chores, and in fact, he usually does the laundry these days. However, he tends not to fold it. He does sometimes, but mostly he’ll put it off…and forget. He’ll unload the fresh clean laundry in baskets and just leave them that way and they’ll eventually wrinkle, of course.

Therefore, I usually fold the laundry after he does it, and put it away. This works out well because this is my time to discover if anything needs mending, which is something only I know how to do. He never tells me when something of his has torn or worn out so it’s up to me to spot the poor thing in the laundry. Sometimes it’s beyond repair and I tell him its life is over and chuck the thing.

Of course if we both don’t feel up to it, sometimes we get wrinkled clothes. But at least they’re clean!

Post # 12
9181 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

My guy is a brilliant cook and also cleans the kitchen afterward – YES!  But he is a total space cadet in some ways, and so things like molding tupperware, eternally-roll-less toilet paper holders, and mud tracked everywhere are a common occurence in our house.  Love him anyway 🙂

Post # 14
643 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

Most of my guy friends lived in an all-male residence that provided their food, and even vacuumed their rooms and changed their sheets weekly. Oh boy, when they all moved out of there and into a house together, utter chaos.

My Fiance is definitely competent when it comes to housework. Maybe not up to my high standards, but definitely better than most. I’m a bit of a perfectionist though.

Post # 15
3357 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

*shrug* I don’t cook, and I’m a girl. I can cook to save my life, if it comes down to it, but I just have no interest in it. Am I not a real girl now? I clean and do laundry for the two of us, and Darling Husband is the head of the kitchen. I wouldn’t go so far as to generalize that most men are incompetent and men like my Darling Husband are rare gems. That’s just a narrow viewpoint.

Post # 16
1285 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

My husband is completely competent to take care of himself, but not to the level I want to live at (i.e. I prefer dirty dishes cleaned nightly, bed linens washed weekly, vegetables at every meal, etc). On the other hand, I’m not completely technologically competent, but my husband teaches me what I ask to learn about. I think we compliment each other’s weaknesses/strengths.

I think sometimes as a gender, we like to pat ourselves on the back that about what our stereotypical strengths. I don’t think women are anymore competent than men, it is just that we are competent about different things.

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