(Closed) What is worse..the TWW or waiting for him to propose?

posted 6 years ago in TTC
  • poll: What is worse, waiting for him to propose or the TWW?
    TWW : (43 votes)
    60 %
    Propose : (29 votes)
    40 %
  • Post # 3
    871 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    TWW for me, mostly because the proposal caught me by surprise. I was never “waiting”- we dated a year and then he asked me to marry him. We had several marriage conversations and were living together and I knew it would come so I just enjoyed our relationship.

    Post # 5
    4327 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: January 1992

    I’d say proposal, because not everyone knows IF, let alone WHEN it’s coming. TWW is assured to be a finite amount of time awaiting an answer. If “no,” the status quo doesn’t change; you’re where you started in two weeks. At least you still have the security of your Darling Husband by your side through the TWW, and can commiserate together if you have to try again.

    Post # 7
    5109 posts
    Bee Keeper

    @Mrs.Jansen:  I;m with Ballet on this one, I had no idea he was going to propose.

    Post # 8
    1292 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: January 2013

    whats tww?Embarassed

    Post # 11
    2523 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: December 2012

    I would say proposal, because some women wait YEARS for a proposal to happen…and well, that’s never fun.

    Granted, some women never conceive, but that’s not as common as women waiting years for a proposal.

    Post # 12
    1652 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    The TWW was worse for me because I had possible fertility issues and it felt completely out of both mine and hubby’s control. Waiting for him to propose was hard sometimes but I knew it would happen eventually 😉 and I already had the man by my side, so I couldn’t lose that much!

    Post # 13
    402 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: March 2011

    Hands down it’s the TWW for me.  We’d already talked generally about getting married, so while the proposal itself was a total surprise, I was comfortable that it was going to come at some point.  And I knew it was important to him to surprise me, so I was happy to wait and let him do it on his terms.

    The TWW, on the other hand, is brutal!  I hate just waiting for…something.  And while I know each cycle is eventually going to end one way or another, I’m constantly wanting to speed time along.  I’m anxious to find out if AF is coming, if so, I’m anxious for that to end and ovulation to get close so we can start trying again, then I’m back to anxious to get the results.  I think it’s harder because I knew my Darling Husband was going to propose, but I don’t have any reassurance that we’ll be able to get pregnant, or what kind of timeline it will be on.  I could always nag him a little if I got too impatient, but I don’t have any real control over this. 

    Post # 14
    1301 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    Urg! I couldn’t answer. Both are difficult and tied together for me. While I was “waiting” I was baby crazy and we couldnt try for a baby until we were married so that “waiting” was as much waiting for the ring, as for the chance to TTC. 
    TTW sucks too though. Both are tough.  

    Post # 15
    720 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2009

    I think TWW.  If you’re waiting for a proposal I would think you already know it’s coming (at some point).  For me, the more exciting part was meeting the guy I knew I’d marry–not the actual (amazing) proposal.  If you don’t know IF a proposal is in the cards, I’m not sure that I’d be waiting for it.  I’d be having some serious conversations.  With the TWW, you could have this amazingly good outcome, a long TTC journey begin, and a million things in between.  And you have limited control over it all.

    Post # 16
    501 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: February 2011

    @Torrid:  i don’t know that it’s not as common to wait years to conceive vs waiting years for a proposal. particularly in your 30s.

    I think it just varies from person to person. . .each individual 2ww is not as hard as waiting for a proposal, I don’t think (unless you are only waiting for 2 weeks!)

    but all the 2ww combined (I have now had 12 unsuccessful 2ww) can be tougher than waiting for a proposal I think.

    However, I did not really wait long for a proposal (maybe a few months btw when I was ready vs when he proposed) so I can’t relate as much. I can definitely see someone who waited 1-5 years for a proposal, feeling that it was harder than even TTC for a year. I think it just varies person to person.

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