(Closed) What is wrong with me? I am incapable of empathy…anyone else feel the same way

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
43 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Yeah girl! Whenever you have had a hard childhood you learn to “protect” yourself, if you will, against others trying to harm you physically or emotionally.  When you have gone through such tough things, sometimes it can just make you sick to hear others complain over things that don’t compare.  We are just a product of our past.  But no, you are not alone.

Post # 4
Member
279 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I don’t think that’s a lack of empathy.  You just feel like you overcame horrible things and that other people should stop making excuses and cut through the bullsh*t themselves.

Now, if you could watch a mother holding her 3 year old son while he took his last breath after a painful battle with leukemia and not feel sad for that mother and her loss … THAT’S complete lack of empathy.

Post # 5
Member
1798 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I’m like this too and I often come across as very insensitive. I’m trying to work on how other people perceive me, but at the same time, I don’t think it’s necessarily wrong not to take every BS excuse that people use.

Post # 6
Member
3295 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

i didnt have a rough childhod but i have worked hard for everything i have…. so i think  thats why i am the same way.  I look at people who in my eyes, arent even trying, and i know i tried so hard for the same things…. whether it be a job or a car… whatever… and i do not feel sorry for them. 

so yea. i am right there with you. i hate excuses and i dont like people who complain about how rough they have it. I believe you can make your own destiny… so dont cry to me 🙂

Post # 9
Member
321 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

@Missloveknot:  ” If I were watching braveheart right now I would be bawling my eyes out, why does this make me Mad and not sad or sad for her or upset?”

I have had the exact same problem.  I’m not sure about your relationship with your mother, but with mine, it was a bit more like “ugh, again?” I know I sound heartless, but after a certain point, you just shut down and get impatient.  What you’re feeling isn’t “wrong” or “right,” it just is.  I was pissed when my mom tried to commit suicide (for the third time) because 1) it didn’t work (hear me out–stage 4 cancer, had it for 20 years, very little quality of life…it goes on) and 2) it inconvenienced me and 3) she didn’t ask for help. 

It’s normal to get mad instead of cry.  You’re a strong person–we strong ladies tend to get pissed rather than cry. 

Post # 10
Member
1798 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

@Missloveknot:  OMG I totally feel you girl. I can’t stand when people blame everything on their circumstances. I’ve had bad circumstances and have overcome a lot, so I feel like if I got over it and suceeded by working hard then anyone can. But, I guess we have to realize that everyone is different and handles things differently.

Post # 11
Member
9053 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

@Missloveknot:  I’m inferring that part of your tough childhood has to do with your mom. Could that be why you’re not a crying mess?  Kind of like she already used up your reserve of pity/grief and whatever else?  

Im not one to put up with much in the way of “poor me” stories either.  I have little patience for people who can’t predict the consequences of their own actions but I certainly can empathize when people are honestly dealt more than a person should have to handle and I’m sure if you think about it you can too. 

I have a coworker/friend who was a child soldier in Africa. He’s done amazingly well for himself and I fully believe he worked his butt off for everything he has.  He always says people in Canada are sitting on top of a gold mine; they just need to take it upon themselves and start digging. 

Post # 15
Member
10 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: December 2013

I’m going to give you my honest opinion and I’m really, really sorry if it sounds harsh- I think that your post sounds a little immature. People are at different places in their lives. some people make excuses and bullshit because that is where they are in the world. Just because you are in a place where you can cut past the bullshit in your own life doesn’t mean other people are. That doesn’t make their pain, struggles or frustrations any less important or any less real.

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