(Closed) What is your “dealbreaker?”

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
3295 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

im with you… i dont think i have a dealbreaker…. i believe that we could work through anything together. now if working through the problem failed… then we could talk about breaking deals ๐Ÿ™‚

EDIT: i must say that physical or verbal abuse would be a no no for me… i just dont think people like that change or deserve my help and time in order for a change to happen. but my fi is awesome and doesnt beat me sooo….. lol!!!

Post # 4
Member
1267 posts
Bumble bee

If he voted for Palin…..

If he had an affair with someone and it was an actual relationship….

If he decided to pick up hunting or abused an animal…

If he decided he wanted children for sure….

I’m just kidding(ish) about the Palin one :P, but the two middle ones would be instant dealbreakers and the last one would be heartbreaking but I’ve gone down that rode before and the marriage ended for basically that reason. ๐Ÿ™

Everything else is pretty forgivable, I think.

Post # 6
Member
8353 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2011

I have a few deal breakers:

  • cheating of any kind
  • abuse of any kind
  • nonprescription drugs
  • alchoholism
  • lying about important things (an example of a nonimportant thing would be if he had a present for me or a surprise for me, and I guessed what it was, and he told me it wasn’t what I guessed).

I have been in relationships that included the above deal breakers, and they were not fixable, nor forgivable. I have to be able to trust my man, and if he violates that trust, all bets are off. And I would expect the same of him.

Post # 7
Member
1267 posts
Bumble bee

@Cash000:

๐Ÿ˜›  That’s why they come in all types, right? ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 8
Member
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

for me the dealbreaker would be violence/abuse or if i found out he ever laid a hand (sexually) on a child/kiddy porn obsession (not that he would but we are talking dealbreakers)

 

Post # 9
Member
2196 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

I think luckyprincess has already named the only two dealbreakers I can possibly think of…if he abused animals/took up hunting or if he had an affair that was some actual relationship.  Pretty much everything else I can imagine dealing with and working with him to fix.  

Post # 10
Member
1016 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

Dealbreakers:
Abuse/neglect
Drugs
Cigarettes
Cheating

(and if he were registered to vote in the USA, I’d have to agree with @luckyprincess… Wink)

Post # 11
Member
968 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Hmmm.

-if he didn’t want to have kids

-was abusive/violent/emotionally draining

-hurt children/animals (not including hunting)

-did not have the same goals and ambitions as me

I don’t know what to think about cheating. It has never happened to me, and Fiance would absolutely never even put himself in a position that would be questionable, so I have no worries about it, and personally don’t know how I would react if it were to ever come up.

Also, if my Fiance wasn’t actively trying to kick his tobacco habit, I would have a serious problem with it, and it probably wouldn’t end well.

Post # 12
Member
10288 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

@Cash000: I think everyone has dealbreaks. If he were to hurt you or your child, would you stay with him? That would be a dealbreaker…

Mine are:

  • Emotional or physical abuse of myself or future children. My ex was abusive and I will never deal with that shit again. 
  • Having an affair. If he cheated once, I dont really know how I would react but I like to think I would attempt to make it work. If it was a full fledged affair with like scheduled times for meet-ups then we’d be donezo.
  • Child molestation
  • Hardcore drug use
  • Alcoholism. My father was an alcoholic and I refuse to go through that again.
  • If he “found God” and forced me to do the same. I’m an atheist (he is too, so it would never happen but this is a hypothetical). I was forced to be a member of an organized religion for too long and I have no interest in it. If Fiance decided to join a religion but didn’t pressure me to join or participate then thats a different story.
  • Becoming a republican.

Ok, I’m partially kidding about the last one but he would never ever switch sides so we’re good. Even if he did, I don’t know that it would be a deal breaker but I would not be very happy. 

Post # 13
Member
759 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

i would have to say that cheating (whether it be once or more than once) and abuse of any kind would be deal breakers for me

Post # 14
Member
5148 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

cheating

abuse

dishonesty

sex offender

 

For those that list “hunting”, please go read the the Regarding Hunting thread. Unless you want to marry a vegetarian/vegan; I would applaud a man for hunting and bringing home the healthiest, most humane meat possible to him and his family. If someone eats meat, it makes zero sense to be against hunting.

Post # 15
Member
5787 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2011

Physical abuse or deciding he doesn’t want children are the only two I can think of. I’m a democrat and he’s a republican so I find the Palin dealbreakers funny. We just do not discuss politics EVER, we disagree so fundamentally on almost every issue that a polite discussion is impossible. 

Post # 16
Member
432 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

@Cash000:

“Hmmm, well I would like to say cheating, but just KNOW in my heart that is not true. It would really depend on the situation, how long we are together, how many times, who with, why, and so on, and so forth…./ So I like to think there would be no “deal breaker” for us. That no matter what happened, or what he did, I don’t think I could just get up and leave over one certain situation.”

 

I agree!!! And it’s nice to hear someone else say it! I love him. He loves me. I never have to doubt anything, we have fun together…he’s just great. I can’t imagine any thing at this point making me think “nope, I’m done”.

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