(Closed) What is your biggest insecurity?

posted 8 years ago in The Lounge
  • poll: What is your biggest insecurity?
    Weight : (136 votes)
    56 %
    Skin : (38 votes)
    16 %
    Teeth : (27 votes)
    11 %
    Hair : (9 votes)
    4 %
    I don't have any, I'm perfect! : (10 votes)
    4 %
    Other - see below : (25 votes)
    10 %
  • Post # 60
    Member
    9481 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2012

    Weight. 🙁 I need to have my thyroid checked.  I could lose weight, but then gain it right back without slipping off the edge.

    Post # 61
    Member
    2239 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    I voted other…

    My biggest insecurity is my race. I’m Asian but I was raised by a white family (I’m adopted) in a predominantly white and black area. There are some hispanic people but very, very few Asians. All I wanted when I was growing up was to look like my family and friends…to fit in with them. But my freakishly small eyes and flatter bone structure kept me from being like them. Spending so much time with white folks really had me confused for pretty much my whole life…I identified myself as white and even avoided the few Asian people I came into contact with because being like an Asian person would mean that I was not like the family I so desperately wanted to be like. One time my mom and I had an argument about the way I was wearing my eye makeup and she kept asking me why I wasn’t wearing it “like everyone else does”.  I tried telling her “because my eyes aren’t like yours” and she just looked at me and said “I don’t even know what you mean by that”. Seriously? My eye doesnt have a fucking fold!  The rest of my family is in denial about it too. My grandma (white lady) will straight up talk about how Asian people are cheap and smell weird  in front of me. Like they think I’m white too because I was raised by them.

    I still really struggle with how I deal with it. Because it is so hard to look in the mirror every day and wish you not only looked different but that you were an entire different race. It’s even hard for me to type it out and talk about it on here even though I don’t know any of you guys. I hate hating it and hate hating myself. But I just am not what I grew up believing I was. Cry

    Post # 62
    Member
    3063 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2012

    My biggest insecurity WAS the enormous hump on my nose… however I recently had a rhinoplasty that removed the hump (as well as corrected my breathing) and I can honestly say that I don’t have any insecurities anymore. Though I don’t think I am perfect like the poll option suggests. I am far from perfect but no longer insecure. Well at least for the time being. Tongue Out 

    Post # 63
    Member
    926 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    @kate169


    I super hope that this doesn’t come off as offensive, because it’s meant to be a compliment, and maybe it’s a bit shallow since it doesn’t involve all of the cultural aspects of your situation: as a white woman with puffy cheeks and very few (what i see as) interesting features, who goes to school in a very interracial part of a unique city, I often lament the fact that I don’t have more almond eyes, or a more delicate, subtle profile, or thicker hair.  I envy the beauty of many of the Asian and Hispanic women I meet.  I’d kill for features that, in American culture, are viewed as exotic.

    I’m sorry that you struggle with your family’s ideals, but I hope that along your life’s path you meet some people who remind you that they think that other races and their features that are not like ours are what make every woman beautiful.  

    Post # 64
    Member
    2783 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    I voted skin….while I’m not thrilled with my weight, I’ve lost some weight in the new year, and am feeling pretty good about that right now. Plus I guess it doesn’t bother me as much because I see it as something I can “fix”.

    My skin, on the other hand….ugh. HUGE pores, and those damn red bumps on my upper arms that no lotions seem to want to get rid of….I am already getting so nervous about wedding photos with those….

    Post # 65
    Member
    811 posts
    Busy bee

    I went for other – I’m majorly insecure in general – I think I’m too plain, I’m highly strung, I have horrid teeth, I have no boobs (an A cup), my thighs are huge, I constantly stress that my SO will find smeone better…I could go on forever lol. SO knows all that and still loves me 🙂 I’m not so crazy that I’d read his texts or anything like that, I know where the line is and I would never stop him hanging out alone with one of his female friends

    Post # 66
    Member
    217 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    I voted weight. This thread makes me sad, though. So many of us are so insecure about our size. Obviously our men love us anyway. It’s so sad we can’t accept ourselves the way we are. 🙁

    Post # 67
    Member
    2239 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    @bells219:  No that wasn’t offensive at all. In fact, thanks for saying that. I appreciate it. I know I should be grateful and happy with how I look and find good things about myself but I guess just my whole life I have felt out of place and my looks don’t help that. Ugh.

    Post # 68
    Member
    2546 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    @kate169:  

    Aw, that sounds so rough. I’m so sorry you have such difficulty with your race.I definitely get your families point of view though. I think they are comming from a good place, like ” you are just like us, despite your skin color.” But, I see your point of view entirely, and that would be a struggle. Have you ever thought about going to the country your ancestors come from and meeting people of your own race. I don’t know exactly what it would accomplish, but it migt help you heal with your dilemma, somehow, someway.

    I can’t say I totally understand, but I do get it. I’m half asian and half white, but grew up mainly with my moms ( caucasian) side of the family. I know so little about my other half of my family and culture. And when I look in the mirror I see myself as white, even though I clearly am not, but I know other people don’t see me like that. It is a struggle, but I have a feeling you struggle more with it.

    Cheer up!!

    Post # 69
    Member
    2239 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    @Cash000:  I think my family means well but I kind of wish they would have been more like even though we’re all different we love each other instead of pretending we were the same. I have thought about going to Korea a lot, but I don’t really think I’m strong enough to handle it. It might be pretty hard for me, especially since I wouldn’t really fit in there either. I am really worried my future kids will struggle (my husband is black so they’ll be biracial with white grandparents lol). 

    Post # 70
    Member
    427 posts
    Helper bee

    I would go with my weight. Only because I have gained about 50 pounds in the last year….(Drinking too much beer every night…have stopped drinking beer now for 2.5 months!) The weight has been coming off and I have lost 20 pounds in the last 2 months! I am only 5’4″ so I feel every pound shows much more.

    Post # 71
    Member
    5219 posts
    Bee Keeper

    skin… definitely! Stubborn, cruel, expensive acne!

    Post # 72
    Member
    1561 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    My weight.  I’m self conscious about it, any fluctuation goes straight to my hips and I feel like people notice.  I’ve put on a little weight since the wedding and some of my jeans don’t fit and it’s just a major bummer.  I try really hard to not let it get to me, because really, my life is awesome, but it’s just something that always makes me insecure.

    Post # 73
    Member
    247 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    This thread makes me really sad….we are all so beautiful in our own way and yet we are constantly beating ourselves up! We all really need to focus on the wonderful things we like about ourselves and remember we are ALL amazing!

    Post # 74
    Member
    2696 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    My skin is really bad. If I’m not on bc, it looks terrible.

    And I have always had issues with my calves. They are disporportionately muscular for my frame. People always ask if I’m a marathoner, haha, even when I haven’t exercised for months. I can’t wear certain things as they make them look bigger and I cant fit into a lot of boots due to the zipper not fitting over them. And they are starting to get weird veins, ugh.

    But I’ve accepted them. My skin, though, will always bother me.

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