(Closed) What is your line for sending them to school or staying home sick?

posted 5 years ago in Parenting
  • poll: What is your line?

    Send them regardless, if it is an issue the school will call me to get them and I am OK with that

    Strictly if there is a fever or not

    Fever plus a little bit of wiggle room

    If my child says they need to stay home sick, they can regardless

  • Post # 16
    1128 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    DS is in daycare. For a fever, he comes home. We have never sent him with a fever but sometimes they develop during the day. I believe they would also send home for diarrhea, pink eye, stuff like that – but of course if that was happening at home, we wouldn’t send him in the first place 🙂 This has actually happened more often than not – I’ve only kept him home once because I thought he was too sick to go. However, he has become sick and I’ve had to go get him a few times.

    Post # 17
    928 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2017

    The only time my mom would let me stay home was for a fever, vomiting or diarrhea or for something extremely contagious like strep. Both my brother and I also stayed home the day or two immediately following a major injury if we were in too much pain. She always let us stay home on our birthdays though haha (or a different day in lieu if staying home on our birthday would have meant missing a test). When I have children I think my Fiance and I will probably follow this pretty similarly.

    Post # 18
    510 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2018

    I’ve been a mom for 20 years and I always tell them in the beginning of the school year “if ya ain’t puking, pooping, bleeding or broken then you’re not staying home.” Now, my kids know I’m a total push over and will totally let them stay home if they don’t feel good, but if I need to take off from work to stay with them they better be damn sure they’re sick…

    Post # 19
    2120 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2015

    I’m not a parent, but my mom’s line (for me at least as the oldest/guinea pig) was fever/vomiting or something really obvious, like chicken pox or strep throat. I was also a nerd who loved school so I always tried to tough it out unless I was puking or actualy felt like dying.

    Post # 20
    55 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: October 2016 - Bittersweet Farm

    fever or vomitting then yes, otherwise they have to at least go and “Try”.  Most of the time we wake up feeling bad but as the day goes on feel better.  I’ve hardly ever had a call from the nurse to come get them once they’re there. 

    Post # 21
    213 posts
    Helper bee

    I don’t have children yet but I think it really depends on the child and their symptoms.  Growing up I never minded going to school with a cold and I never got the flu.  However I did get migraine headaches, first associated with weather changes then as I got older also associated with hormonal changes.  I also got insanely bad cramps during rhe first few days of my period which were often accompanied by vomiting.  None of these issues came with a fever so my parents had to learn to trust what I said.  Sometimes I stayed in school and they just gave the nurse permission to give me over-the-counter pain meds, sometimes I had to leave, sometimes I never went in.  Admittedly I missed a lot of school, however I was also an A student, so I can understand why they weren’t so concerned about attendance.

    Post # 22
    3088 posts
    Sugar bee

    My kids have to be darn near passing out for me to leave them home. *I kid, I kid*

    Seriously, they will stay home for fevers or if they throw up. You gotta know your kid as well. My kids havent reached the lying stage (yet?) as they are only 6 and 7 plus they like school. So, if something is up, they keep it real with me and I will believe them. Hopefully that wont change.

    Post # 23
    919 posts
    Busy bee

    I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I feel as though it will help some mothers. I would get REALLY bad colds. I mean, I understand they’re never fun, but when I mean bad I mean eyes swollen shut, nose swollen to twice the size, no amount of tissues could stop the flow of whatever the heck was coming out of there. I knew my moms rule-fever, or throwing up. Now, I was miserable. So a good chunk of times, I would tell my mom in the morning that I had thrown up in the middle of the night (when in reality, I didn’t) and would get to stay home. So just make sure if you didn’t see the throwing up happen, that your child actually looks like they’re telling the truth. I would also take a flashlight and put the tip of the stick on it, wait for it to heat up, put it under my tongue, and there you have it, I have a high fever. Awful, I know, but I only did it when I had a really bad cold. 


    I guess I’m just saying to watch out for the tricks, but also understand there are some simple colds that are bad enough to keep you home. I got colds often and would miss probably 8 days a year, which stinks, but not enough to destroy my grades and such. Now, as a soon to be college graduate, I don’t miss those days at all. I hardly ever call out sick for work, but if I’m feeling sick, I won’t go to class. I won’t be listening because I’ll be so focused on how awful I feel, so I’d rather stay home and rest and get notes from someone else:) 

    Post # 24
    5778 posts
    Bee Keeper

    I’ve been on both sides of this issue- a mom who knows what it’s like to have sick kids/ arrange time off work etc and someone who has worked in the school system for ages (though now with older kids). 

    As a parent: I trusted my kids if they said they weren’t feeling well enough to go- BUT a sick day means a sick day. No playing video games all day, no miraculous 3pm cures that render you well enough to go play at a friends house. Being too sick to go to school = sick enough to be in bed. Generously this worked well & wasn’t taken advantage of because they appreciated being able to stay in bed in their pj’s when it was truly needed, but it wouldn’t be much fun otherwise so they’d suck up more minor ailments and go to school. 

    As school staff: I always felt badly if a child clearly wasn’t well enough to be there and would sit at his/ her desk dull eyed and listless and pale, sometimes with a hoarse cough or other obvious symptom, because a parent couldn’t take time off work/ arrange childcare or didn’t believe the child was too sick to be there. There’s no need to coddle every sneeze and sniffle, but young children also don’t need to learn to ‘toughen up’, they’re too young for that type of harshness. The world is tough enough as it is. Also keep in mind that other children in class may have health problems that can be quite severe if they get what would ordinarily be a run of the mill virus in healthy kids. 

    As a parent and as an educator: If your child is prone to playing sick, make sure there’s not an underlying reason they’re trying to get out of school. It may be as simple as occasional laziness or staying home being too attractive (as in a doting parent or grandparent catering to a chid with juice boxes, comics and treats while they lounge in front of the X-box). Or it could be a sign of something much more serious like a child being afraid to go because of bullying, anxiety, undiagnosed learning disability etc. 

    Post # 25
    358 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2015

    I keep my kids home if they have a temp of at least 100 or if they’re vomiting.  What I tell them is “fire, flood, or blood,” and keep my real guidelines a secret bc it seems to cut down on them faking sick/whining.

    Post # 26
    3212 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2016

    View original reply
    RobbieAndJuliahaha:  exactly what you said about underlying causes! I was bullied a lot in grade 4 to the point where I would throw up at the thought of going into school. Teacher wasn’t interested in hearing about my problems because the bullies were all her favourites. My mom switched my schools as soon as she could… But damn, it sticks with you.

    Post # 27
    733 posts
    Busy bee

    Fever over 100.4, vomiting (except for my oldest boy, he’s a master at puking to stay home without being sick), or just obviously too sick to go. Sometimes you can just tell they they are miserable but don’t have a high enough fever for it to be a fever. That’s only happened a few times. My kids have near perfect attendance and rarely get sick, or sick for more than a day. On the other hand, for myself, I was very sick constantly. I don’t know if it was that my parents both smoked or what but I was a very sickly kid and missed a lot of school. I was out for almost 2 months with the chicken pox because I kept getting new pox and you couldn’t go to school until they were all scabbed over. Stuff like that.

    Post # 28
    4240 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: August 2015

    I’m late to this, but our school recently had a HORRIBLE outbreak of colds and flu.  Like it has been over 3 weeks since I have seen a class that had every kid present.  I see 13 classes on a rotation of every 3 days.  Even if kids had a cold, we asked parents to keep them home because it was spreading like wildfire.  The teachers are starting to get sick too — I’ve been sick for the past 3-4 days.  If it’s a bad cold, you NEED to keep them home.  The fever and throwing up rule is great, but on the same token kids spread cold germs just as quickly by blowing their nose all the time, not washing hands enough, etc.

    Post # 29
    2668 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: December 2016

    I don’t have children (yet) but I imagine that I would take a similar stance to my own parents. We really only stayed home if there was a fever, vomiting or diarrhea involved. Most other times, we had to tough it out. If we had PE or something that day, my mother would usually write us a note so that we could be excused but otherwise we did all our classes.

    Post # 30
    4424 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: December 2013

    I’m a new mom to a 5-week old but agree completely with PPs. We will follow the same thng my parents did- stay home for a fever or throwing unless I can truly see there is something else making him feel off. As a teacher, I agree with this. Don’t be at school with a fever or if you’re throwing up because I don’t appreciate getting sick from people.

    On the opposite end, I have WAY too many students (I teach juniors and seniors) whose parents will let them stay home for any reason. My parents never took us out of school unless we were truly ill. It’s amazing to me how many think that’s an excuse to not do their work. They will come to me after missing 3 or 4 days in a row and use that excuse for having done nothing. The ones who are truly ill always contact me (or their parents do). Too many people think that having a cold equals not taking responsibility for their work. I don’t want my son to think that’s acceptable. 

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