(Closed) What is your living situation, waiting Bees?

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
  • poll: What is your living situation, waiting bees?
    I live with my family and SO lives elsewhere : (24 votes)
    16 %
    I live with roommates and SO lives elsewhere : (6 votes)
    4 %
    I live alone : (13 votes)
    8 %
    I live with my children but no other adults : (5 votes)
    3 %
    I live with SO and no other adults (with or without children) : (79 votes)
    52 %
    I live with SO and family (SO's or mine) : (8 votes)
    5 %
    I live with SO and roommates : (4 votes)
    3 %
    I am waiting, but none of these situations apply to me exactly : (11 votes)
    7 %
    I am not waiting : (3 votes)
    2 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    121 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: March 2013

    I’m brand new here, and this post couldn’t be more applicable to me!

    Short answer: I moved to be closer to him and am currently living in my grandmother’s finished basement 10 minutes away (it’s a walk out, so at least it has windows, haha!). I own a home in my original city still though while I wait. We have a clear deadline we agreed on. I think that makes it easier for me to wait because I know it will all be sorted out by the end of the summer one way or another.

    I’m 27, by the way, to give some context. I’ve been independent since 18, so moving in with family was a BIG change for me.

    He has one roommate who is really nice (has had no issues with me staying over on weekends for the last year and a half), and they have a townhouse with different levels so it’s almost like they each have their own apartment.

    Long answer:

    Boyfriend or Best Friend and I met on eHarmony just shy of 2 years ago, and we lived about 2 hours & 45 minutes apart (I wouldn’t exactly call it long distance, but more mid-distance). I lived in a major city, he lived in the Central part of the state. The only reason I really even considered dating him was because the town he lived in is the town my extended family is from.

    I own a condo in my city. After about a year and a half together, I moved down here in January. My grandmother goes south in the winter, so I moved into her home and left my condo empty. When she came back a month ago, I moved into the basement and made a nice livingt area down there.

    We made some very clear agreements before I uprooted my life. I was able to keep my (very good) job, luckily, and I work remotely. I rent a desk at an office here in town. We agreed that we’d make a decision one way or the other by the end of August, because I can’t take living in limbo forever. We agreed we would split all my costs of living down here equally, since I am still paying my mortgage on my home (not very much, just my share of utilities and my office rent).

    We agreed I would leave my condo empty so I can move back and make it very easy for either of us to make the decision to end it if we want to – I didn’t want any “Oh, she moved, now I HAVE to stay with her” pressure. We also agreed we’d actually do pre-engagement counseling during this period – our first appointment is in 2 weeks!! We don’t really have any issues I can point to, I just like the idea of marriage prep BEFORE the ring is on the finger.

    Looooong answer, but I’m happy with our situation, even though I never pictured myself in it.

    Post # 4
    Member
    1220 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2015

    I voted that I live with family and my SO lives elsewhere. That’s the short story.

    The long story is that SO bought a townhouse on his own (while we were together) 4 years ago, and I moved in with him. I was a recent college grad, so money was really tight for me, so I contributed to household expences as much as I could. Then 2 years ago we broke up and I moved out (back home with my parents) and debated about whether or not I’d get my own apartment and am still debating depending on how my day is going LOL. Turns out the “break up” only lasted a few months, but I flat out told him that I’d never live with another Boyfriend or Best Friend without any actual commitment, aka a ring and a set wedding date. Almost 2 years later, and I haven’t changed my mind about this, though I have his house keys and come and go as I please. I pay no bills at his house (been there, done that, not going back) but I do cook and clean when I’m there. Until there’s a ring and a date set, my address will remain my parent’s. I’m in grad school now, so there’s really no point in adding the extra stress of trying to find a place and deal with paying rent. He seems kinda adamant that I should stay put at my parents, which is interesting since he claims that he has a “plan”…that remains to be seen, and I’ll keep you all posted!

    Post # 5
    Member
    191 posts
    Blushing bee

    I live alone in my condo (with my kitty! lol) and SO lives elsewhere. When I finally get the ring on my finger, he can move in!

    Post # 6
    Member
    108 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    My SO and I live together in a house he bought shortly before we met over 3 years ago. But I didn’t move in with him until 1.5 years ago (after graduating). It was either move back home while I went to law school or move in with him. Either way, I wouldn’t have to pay for anything while I focused on school. I figured that if we can make it through 3 years of law school, we can make it through anything! 

    Post # 7
    Member
    3968 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    We are currently LD. I live with a roommate, he lives with a couple roommates. I am moving to where he lives and we hope to find an apartment to live together, no roommates, this summer.

    Post # 8
    Member
    3968 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    @purpledaisies:  Good for you, purpledaisies. You are a strong woman. I hope he realizes that in order to live with you he’s got to get his act together 😉 I’m more or less doing the same thing. I had to make sure he realized that I would only be ok moving in if engagement was in the IMMEDIATE (either before or soon after moving in) FUTURE.

    Post # 9
    Member
    1211 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    I live alone in an apartment (near to my grad school) and my SO lives in a house that he owns about 20 minutes away. My lease is ending in July and I’m graduating, so I’m moving into the house 🙂 

    Post # 10
    Member
    1190 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    Haha, my situation is interesting and I wasn’t sure how it would be but it’s turning out better than I thought! My SO moved into the top portion of a house that his “coworker” owns. She lives in the basement and is in her late 50’s. My SO and I are both 26. I moved in a month ago and things have been good. There’s no separate entrance to the house, so there’s some shared space I was worried about. I lived by myself for 6 years, so it’s a BIG BIG change. I love being in a house vs. an apartment!

    Post # 11
    Member
    2143 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2015

    I live with my family and SO lives with his family. Both of our families are very traditional and religious. 

    Post # 12
    Member
    2949 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2015

    I live with my father and brother and the SO is flatting on his own. We will only be moving in together after we get engaged out of respect to my father.

    Post # 13
    Member
    333 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    we are LDR, i live alone, he lives alone. both our families live in various other countries to us, as well as us living countries away! it’s all a scattered mess. we plan to live together next year in the city where he currently lives, because i wanted to move back there for work anyway and by then we will be engaged. i hope it’s not too hard of an adjustment, we’re both used to having our own space!

    Post # 14
    Member
    242 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    Thank you for posting this…I thought our living situation is weird.

    My SO and I do not live together…I live with my child and he lives alone 30 mins south of me. Two of my most significant relationships (before SO) were me living with the man in my life at the time and right away..this is my first relationship where we have different homes. It is so odd to me, yet knowing there are others in similar situations…makes me feel not so unusual Sealed

    Post # 15
    Member
    1430 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2015

    I live with my SO and no one else and I’m really happy with the situation. Our first year of adjusting was really hard with me moving away from my family and friends and him working almost every waking moment after the first month I moved up to be with him. So I’m kinda glad we got to adjust to everything before getting engaged or married in hindsight. It made me even more sure that marrying him will be the right decision.

    Post # 16
    Member
    22 posts
    Newbee

    We’re moving in together this summer (finally the end of a 2.5 year transatlantic long distance! AHHH, I am so excited I could burst!) but due to extenuating circumstances my little sister will be living with us. Three is a bit of a crowd, but hopefully we’ll be able to enjoy the novelty of living together while simultaneously maintaining a relationship with my sister and not making her feel like a third wheel. 

    The topic ‘What is your living situation, waiting Bees?’ is closed to new replies.

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