(Closed) What is your opinion on how old is too old?

posted 9 years ago in Babies
  • poll: How old is too old?

    28-30

    31-33

    34-36

    37-40

    40-42

    42+

  • Post # 47
    Member
    2521 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    I have no opinion on ages for other couples.  It’s not my business.

    Post # 48
    Member
    6065 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: January 2012

    View original reply
    @Mrs. Spring: Agree.

    It is not our place to judge other mothers’ decisions- there are a myriad of reasons a woman may wait until later to conceive.

    Post # 49
    Member
    968 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2011

    I spoke with a gyno about this issue, and she told me that, ideally, it’s best to become pregnant by age 35, since complications during pregnancy increase dramatically at this age.

    I am 26 and would like to have 2-3 children. I would like to have all my kids by the time I’m 35 because of this reason.

    Personally, I don’t think there’s an age that is “too old” to have a child, but if you are 35 or older, you need to be aware that you are considered a “high risk” pregnancy and should be seeing a specialist gyno during your term (according to the medical perspective of the gyno I spoke with).

    If you happen to be above the “ideal” age (medically speaking) when you’re ready (or able) to have a child, that is OKAY, as long as you take the appropriate precautions to be prepared for and aware of any possible complications that might arise.

    As far as “not wanting to be too old” when your kids are still growing up, I feel this is a very personal decision for each individual couple as to what they’re comfortable with when it comes to raising their family.

    Post # 50
    Member
    2410 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    View original reply
    @Mrs. Spring:

    very well said.

    Post # 51
    Member
    33 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: June 2020 - Methodist Church/Country Club

    I don’t really care when anyone else in the world chooses to get pregnant (perhaps with the exception of really young girls. And my sister – and only because I’d like to be an aunt already!)

    I am from the Midwest, though, and I think people tend to marry and have kids at a younger age here. That said, I certainly don’t think it’s wrong or selfish for an older woman to try and get pregnant.

     

    Post # 52
    Member
    335 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    OP clearly stated “what is your opinion on how old is too old” so if I say 35 I don’t want someone who is 36  (or older) and pregnant to take it personally.  That being said, I personally think late 30’s is the max age to start having a family.  Not only because of the heightened health risks for both mother & child but for a few other reasons as others have previously stated here.  

    For those that say “any age doesn’t matter…it’s nobody business…etc”, that could not be further from the truth.  I had a friend in Jr. High who’s parents had her when they were in their early 50’s.  Her Father died before she was out of elementary school and her Mother died before she out of high school.  Since she was still a minor, she became a ward of the state and bounced around in foster care for almost 2 years.  I won’t even go into how embarrassed she felt of how old her Mom was which was cause for her to get picked on with the whole “Your Mama is so old” jokes.  She would have her Mom drop her off a block away from school and didn’t want to invite “new” friends over her house.  The whole situation was pretty sad really.

    And let’s not forget the Spanish Mother that had twins at 66 and died not even 3 years later and left 2 little boys orphaned before the age of 3!  So YES, sometimes age DOES matter!

    Post # 53
    Member
    335 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    View original reply
    @chickadee:    I don’t really care when anyone else in the world chooses to get pregnant

    Sorry, but I do care that there are 2 orphaned children who will grow up without knowing the love of a parent because a woman decided at 66 she wanted to experience motherhood before she died.  That sounds pretty selfish to me….so I do care that there are more women out there just like her that put their “wants” before any child’s “needs”.

    Post # 54
    Member
    2410 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    View original reply
    @futureMrs.L:

    Eh I could also consider teenage mothers selfish. Or the people who have kids and then can’t pay to feed or clothe them. Either way, situations are unique and broad generalisations are unfair. Some children would rather have parents who can pay for their educations and take them on fancy vacations, some would rather have parents who can play baseball with the. Who knows?

     

    Post # 55
    Member
    6065 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: January 2012

    View original reply
    @plantains: well said.

    Post # 56
    Member
    827 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: January 2011

    I didn’t vote – but multiples are much more likely to occur naturally with “advanced maternal age”. I have a two aunts and one cousin, all over the age of 35, that have conceived twins naturally. So perhaps it’s more common to see a double stroller. 😉 

    Post # 57
    Member
    1051 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2011

    For me personally, assuming everything goes perfectly and we’re able to conceive on time/when we want to, DH and I would like 2-3 kids and I would like to be done with pregnancy by 35. I know mothers who had their kids in their 40’s (usually with help) who are fantastic parents and can run circles around some of the younger parents I know, but not everyone is like that. I’d like to have my kids in college and be done with most of the major child rearing expenses before DH and I think about retirement.  I’ve been nannying and baby sitting for multiples since I was 12 so I have a lot of experience with how much work goes into raising kids, especially multiples and I think I might doubt the ability of someone in their 50’s to keep up and provide all necessary engagement past the love you/care for you aspects. That said, someone in an older age range might be more financially stable and thus able to hire a nanny to take up the slack. I think it depends entirely on the invidivual couple but for health reasons, the risks of a late maternal age pregnancy, and the desire to travel and do things with my husband while we’re still young, for me personally, I would like to be done by 35 +/- a year or two if absolutely necessary. 

    Post # 58
    Member
    5540 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: December 2011

    While I wouldn’t really “judge” a woman for getting pregnant after about 38-40, if I had a friend or something that age and they asked my opinion I would highly advise against getting pregnant that late. There are just biologically issues that have a much, much higher instance of occuring when the mother is older.

    And also, my dad was 30 when he had me and I am already starting to get worried about his health and him being around for grandbabies, I can’t imagine being my friend who’s parents are both in their late 50s, and we aren’t ‘old’ by any means. Should my friend wait as long as her parents did to have children it is incredibly likely that her children won’t ever remember their grandparents. To me that it tragic. 

    Post # 59
    Member
    5496 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: April 2010

    View original reply
    @plantains: Agree 100%.

    Post # 60
    Member
    9024 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    I dont think the OP was asking anyone to judge. She was just asking for opinions ie a general discussion of what each person things is too old.

    Post # 61
    Member
    335 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    View original reply
    @plantains:  How can you compare a teenager to an adult?  Most teenagers are selfish regardless as they still don’t know what real life really is yet.  So although I can agree that a teenager having a baby can be selfish, they know much less than an adult who is doing the same exact thing!  An adult should know better!

    And as far as “Some children would rather have parents who can pay for their educations and take them on fancy vacations, some would rather have parents who can play baseball with the. Who knows?” that has absolutely NOTHING to do with a parent’s age….and EVERYTHING to do with child rearing.   You are trying to compare apples to oranges.

     

    The topic ‘What is your opinion on how old is too old?’ is closed to new replies.

    Find Amazing Vendors