(Closed) What is your relationship dynamic regarding household chores?

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: How do you approach household chores?

    If we both contribute to the mess, we both help clean up.

    I begrudgingly do the majority of the chores

    I happily do the majority of the chores

    My SO/FI/DH/Partner begrudgingly does the majority of the chores

    My SO/FI/DH/Partner happily does the majority of the chores

    We hired a maid

    We still disagree on this and still need to figure out a solution

    Other (please explain below)

  • Post # 17
    136 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: May 2015

    I voted both bc he is pretty good about helping out.  We both work full time and there are nights where one of us is just worn out, the other will take care of everything.  Most nights I cook dinner and he does the dishes after.  I will say that I do more of the dusting/vacuuming/cleaning, but he does the yardwork and home repairs.  We split the laundry.

    This will change later, because we are planning on me staying home once we have kids (at least until they are in school), and so at that point the majority of the chores will fall to me.  He will still be responsible for the home repairs and some of the yard work at that point, but I’ll be doing everything else, since he will be working to support us.

    Post # 18
    2597 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    @bmo88:  I voted that I begrudgingly do most of the housework but that’s only because I don’t enjoy cleaning although I love having a clean house.

    However, in our situation, we are renovating our house one room at a time and my husband does most of the heavy lifting with that, plus does pretty much all the yard work so he actually does more work around the house than I do.  

    Post # 19
    1365 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    We alternate and spit 50/50 mostly on minor things like dishes and tidying. We do have a house cleaner that comes every couple of weeks.  I do not miss cleaning the bathroom!

    Post # 20
    215 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2005

    @bmo88:  I would say that we split it pretty evenly. He is much better at daily surface cleaning and so he picks up the living room and kitchen everyday and makes the bed takes care of the animalsl, stuff like that. While I cook every night and pack our lunchs for work. But, then on the weekends I do more of the deep cleaning. Vacumming, dusting, cleaning the baseboards, bathrooms, cleaning out the fridge. Things like that. We never really discussed it we just kinda went with our strengths and fell into a routine. 

    Post # 21
    2609 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2014 - Madison, WI

    I do the majority of the chores though Fiance will help if asked but I usually have to show him exactly what to do so unless there is a whole lot to be done I will usually just do it myself. The only thing that Fiance does most of the time is take out the trash/recycling and help with dishes. Otherwise whenever I’ve asked him to clean something he just seems to put some water on it and walk away. Seriously, which has resulted in my feet getting wet or me wondering why the countertops look flooded. I do most of the laundry though sometimes Fiance will do his own but I won’t let him touch mine because I’ll admit I don’t think he does it right. He uses almost no detergent, no fabric softener/dryer sheets, and usually takes the clothes out when they’re still wet so they smell damp. He also balls up all his pairs of socks before washing them so they don’t get seperated, well they also don’t get clean or dry that way either. I think if we ever moved someplace larger and/or had kids I would consider hiring someone to help out once in awhile.

    Post # 22
    12244 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2013

    I’m a raging OCD clean monster. I’ve always done 100% of the cleaning–Even when I was working 55 hours a week!

    Post # 23
    556 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I happily do all of the household chores like cooking and cleaning and laundry. My husband is always busy and working on our property – building stuff, landscaping, taking care of the dogs, etc. – and this is after working 10-12 hours a day hard labor. It makes it easy that our chores and roles do not overlap so we never keep score or bicker about it.

    Post # 24
    2362 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2013 - B&B

    we were fortunate enough to never really have to sit down and talk it out, either…. we both just kind of pitch in.  We sort of have agreements about certain chores.  Like I will be the one who does laundry, from sorting to washing/drying to folding and putting away, and he knows I HATE HATE HATE the dishes so passionately, so he does them a lot of the time (sometimes I will help rinse lol).

    Other than that we just sort of look at one another and go “lets clean up the dining room, we got clutter accumulating” and we go “ok!” and do it.

    It helps that we feel almost the same way regarding dirt, clutter, and general cleanliness.  We both don’t mind a little clutter accumulation throughout the week, but we both do like to clean it up before it gets bad.  We don’t like DIRT dirt, but at the same time we are both ok to let the dishes sit for a night if we are really busy, or clean off the stove after a couple meals, etc.  So that really helps us.

    Post # 25
    486 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: February 2014

    I pretty much do all the cleaning. My Fiance works a lot and it doesn’t bother me. He usually will do laundry more than me, though. I really don’t like doing laundry lol. 

    Post # 26
    2624 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    My Fiance and I both happily clean no matter who makes the mess. He makes breakfast and cleans the dishes, bathrooms and some laundry. I make dinner and lunch, clean the dishes, sweep, mop and vacuum and some laundry. We both are very neat people, so the the majority of the cleaning is in the kitchen.

    Post # 27
    1667 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    We divvied things up before we moved in together.

    He takes out the trash, tidies the office, makes the bed, and unloads the dishwasher.

    I clean the bathrooms and sweep.

    I cook with the caveat that he NEVER leaves me in the kitchen to clean up, so we do that together and quickly after dinner.

    I think I technically clean more than he does, but I don’t feel lik I’m lost or floundering in chores.

    Post # 28
    2107 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2015

    At this point, my SO is out of work,and I am working full time, so he does most of the chores. I try to do them, but I can’t stand doing chores when he’s around because I don’t do them the same way he does, so he tends to take over anyway (fine by me :p). When I do them, i generally wait for him to be out of the house, or at least otherwise occupied. I’m sure this will change once he is back working.

    Post # 29
    6112 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2012

    I am very grateful to have an H that does his share of the chores willinging and without any prompting at all!  It might be more 60% me, 40% him, but he has a more demanding job than me and might work longer house/more travel over all, so I don’t mind going the extra 10%.

    I can say that we’ve never fought once over chores in our almost 3 years of living in the same house. If one is working late, or stressed or sick, we step in to absorb their chores.

    In the kitchen: I do most of the cooking and he does most of the clean up/dish washing.  He does take care of grilling though.  He take out the trash, the recycling and compost.

    Bathrooms: I generally tidy them up more often (counter, sink, toilet, shower), but he will scrub the tub if it needs more elbow grease.

    Yard: He mows the lawn always.  I used to do it at my old house (because I lived alone and had to, I loved mowing the lawn).  I tend to do more of the weeding.  We both do mulching, fertilizing projects.  He does most of the snow shoveling.  We both stain the deck together.

    Laundry: I do most of it, he will do a load now and then if he needs his ski clothes ready asap.

    House stuff: generally H takes care of all the house maintenance, cleaning the garage, working on projects.  I actually did not even know how to drill a hole in the wall to hang curtains until last weekend!  We both do house tiying equally.





    Post # 30
    5217 posts
    Bee Keeper



    I don't have a honey do list. I have a I'll do it my freaking self

and VOILA!

stuff get’s done

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    Post # 31
    470 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2014

    I am lucky enough that SO has a maid, so when I am staying with him, she does the housework! Yay! A little spoilt, but as I am not used to it, I do the dishes and I also wash my own clothes because I find someone else doing it is a little weird for me. But it is really nice to not have to do bathrooms and floors and windows etc. 

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