Post # 1
There are lots of Bees who have caught their SO texting women, flirting, etc, and I’m curious what we have discovered our spouses doing, if anything.
Please answer the poll, even if you don’t care that you caught him doing a certain thing (like watching porn, etc). You do not need to have caught him in the act, btw.
Post # 3
I would have thought most Bees have discovered that their SO watches porn.
Post # 4
Flirting. He’s a natural flirt and it doesn’t help that he’s good looking. Sometimes I have to tell him to cool it.
Post # 5
In my case we had an open discussion about porn in the beginning of our relationship.
I told him that I couldn’t care less about his use of it as long as it doesn’t impede on our sex life. If it starts to impede on our sex life (he can’t finish or start without it/ it has to be playing/he has zero interest in sex with me and just wants to jerk off to porn) then we’re going to have to sit down and discuss it.
So there is nothing to “Catch” him doing. I know he watches it, we’ve watched it together. Even if I walked into the room while he was mid-porno I still wouldn’t feel that I “Caught” him since he has nothing to hide.
I guess for me the word “Caught” implies that the man would be sneaking around doing it behind my back. Just my opinion.
Post # 6
@bunnyharriet: I don’t think my SO is “guilty” of watching porn. I know he watches porn, he knows I read erotica, sometimes we watch porn together.
Post # 7
uhmmm… all you women are dellusional if only 2/19 of you think the men in your life watch porn…
Post # 8
I chose “none of the above” because like @FEDORAble porn is not something that he would be scrutinized for viewing.
Post # 9
@CrazyCatLady13: I mentioned in the original post to choose all that apply, even if you don’t have a problem with what he/she did or does. Lots of women accept that their SO watches porn, including me.
@MrsRugbee: I’m sure there are men out there who don’t watch porn, but they’re probably relatively uncommon.
Post # 10
@bunnyharriet: I think it might be in the wording of the question. I know my SO watches porn, but I have not caught him watching porn.
Post # 11
I didn’t read the stipulation about porn before checking “none.” He does watch porn but he’s open about it and occasionally sends me youporn clips of positions he thinks are hot. I sometimes watch porn too so I obviously have no issue with it. Wr’re LD so a little outside stimulation helps us both get through the lonely spells.
Post # 12
I think some, maybe most, men aren’t as sexual as society makes them out to be. When DF is home alone, he can’t wait to catch up on his DVRd science shows.
Post # 13
I think a lot of these are ‘dealbreakers’ in our relationship.
Porn, flirting and staying out all night are not really even listed as ‘offenses’ to us because we trust eachother and these are not threats to our relationship.
But – if he didn’t let me see his phone or computer I think it would be a cause for me to walk out. Same with finding nude pics, kissing, or anything physical. Even if there was emotional cheating I am not sure how I would move past that.
We also have a ‘no exes’ rule. So reconnecting with someone from your past is expressly forbidden. Not to mention we have a no-opposite-sex-in-the-same-room rule. This means that you don’t go over to a girls house to watch a movie by yourself. And vice-versa I would not go out to the bar or to dinner with a man by myself. DOing any of these things opens yourself up to unnecsary temptaion – or it builds a relationship where temptation can spring from.
We have found that the best way to combat infidelity is to not LET IT become something that might become a problem in the future. Don’t be open to it and don’t project that you are wanting of such attentions and you will never have this problem. Hoepfully this is the right way to go for us – but its been 5 years so I think we have a good handle on it so far.
Post # 14
I voted none, because I’m not worried about him watching porn. I know that he does it and it doesn’t bother me at all.
Post # 15
Oh, shoot. I voted “none of the above,” but my FI does watch porn. However, I don’t consider that him being “guilty” of something. IMO, porn does not equate with any of the other options….but obviously, many bees do not have the same perspective. Here’s hoping this doesn’t turn into another pro porn/anti porn thread :/
But no, my fiance has not done anything to break my trust.
Post # 16
I voted none but I’m sure he has watched/watches porn on occassion. I’ve never asked or caught him and if he does/has I wouldn’t care. I think strippers/lap dance should be on there before porn is haha!