(Closed) What is your take on families with more than one child having multiple showers?

posted 9 years ago in Babies
  • poll: Do siblings get baby showers?
    Yes! Each child should get a baby shower. : (44 votes)
    27 %
    Yes, but maybe only 2 showers per family... anything after that is excessive : (8 votes)
    5 %
    Yes, but only if the new baby is born a long time after the older sibling(s) : (36 votes)
    22 %
    No, a shower is for the parents and they really only need one : (45 votes)
    28 %
    Yes, have a shower but perhaps only with cake and games. No gifts needed : (24 votes)
    15 %
    Other : (4 votes)
    2 %
  • Post # 77
    3501 posts
    Sugar bee

    So in my family there is a rift between 2 sisters.( they are like 45 and 50)

    anyhow. 45 got in a fight with 50 and told 50 she wasn’t going to be invited to her baby’s baby shower.

    this is 45’s 4 (4!!) child. all of them have had baby showers. I don’t get it. I voted no. One shower per family is MORE than enough!

    Post # 78
    548 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2011

    I actually just went to the second baby shower for a cousin who is pregnant with her second child, due a year after her first child. I thought it was weird and not very appropriate to have two showers, especially with the close spacing between the babies. The funny thing was, she apparently told her sisters that she couldn’t have a shower because it wasn’t appropriate for the second child, but her sisters threw her a “get together” anyway, complete with baby shower decorations, food, and the not-very-subtle suggestion that presents were expected. It was rather off-putting and struck me as gift-grabby. Just my 2 cents.

    Post # 79
    2867 posts
    Sugar bee

    @Nola:  I’m not even registering for the wedding anyways–so it’s a moot point for me.  I think we live in an age where things are expected to be handed to us.  I will not sympathize with a person who expects and registers for their second child, third, etc.  They took on that responsibility when they had the first.  Same goes to those getting married, I do not expect people to give me gifts b/c my Fiance and I made the decision to get married.  I do, however, give a cash gift at every wedding I’ve been to but I don’t expect my guests to do that for me especially since they’re incurring the cost of attending my wedding.

    Post # 80
    401 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    I think one shower per family. I see nothing wrong with celebrating the birth of a 2nd or 3rd, etc, child but I don’t think it needs to be a shower, just a get together after the child is born with no gifts expected.

    Post # 81
    401 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    Forgot in 1st post: I guess if the children are spaced far apart it might be OK to do another shower. I knew a family that had 7 boys and then they were expecting a girl and somebody threw them a shower, I think that was OK too.

    Post # 82
    806 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    Personally I wouldn’t feel right having a shower for a second or third kid.  I think it’s a lot to ask of people.  I see the shower as more for the mom to celebrate her becoming a parent.  Like others have said, the baby doesn’t know the difference so I don’t really think the party is “about” them. A bris, or a christening, is really about the baby.

    Rather than a shower, a low key luncheon with close friends (no gifts) seems a lot more appropriate.

    It’s like if you have a housewarming party every two years when you move apartments.  Or having a full blown shower for a third wedding when you’ve had them for the first two.  Just seems a bit much.

    Post # 83
    1765 posts
    Buzzing bee

    I think in my extended family-a first baby shower was given, and then another given  if there was more than 4 babies.  But my daughter was given 2 baby showers, and I think that was ok. It was given by a new friend that didn’t know her when her 1st daughter was born-at first I felt funny about it, but then, she didn’t get a wedding shower, because my mom died a month before her wedding.  Even though she has 2 girls now, it was handy, because some of her newborn stuff was lost in a move, and also, the babies were born in opposite seasons. The first born in Dec., the 2nd born in June!

    Post # 85
    347 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    I hope not to offend, but I think multiple showers are greedy unless the children are REALLY far apart in age. Showers are meant to help the parents with all the new purchases they’ll need to make, and there are less purchases for a second or third child. 

    Post # 86
    245 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2009

    I wouldn’t want a shower for my second or third kid, personally, no matter how far apart the kids are spaced. I’m of the mind that after you have a child you have to be prepared to support your own family. There are plenty of options for used/cheaper baby gear that is still safe. That said, I’d buy a gift for a second, third, fourth child – regarldess of child spacing and gender, just because I like to celebrate a child. But I wouldn’t feel comfortable attending a shower for someone who already has a kid, unless it was done as a sip and see sort of thing where it was clear gifts weren’t expected (I’d still bring one, I just wouldn’t want it to feel expected).

    I actually like the idea of a registry- I HATE feeling like I’m buying something someone might not like or use, so it actually feels useful to me. You don’t have to buy off of a registry, but it’s there to guide you it what is needed and wanted.



    Post # 87
    979 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    Its one thing if its thrown by someone for you and they are not your family.  But if you are looking to have a shower and you already have everything then thats greedy.  If she wants a party, have one after the baby is born and introduce the child that way.  She probably feels special when she has a party and is looking for  that feeling again.  I think its greedy though if you are on your 3rd child.

    Post # 88
    197 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: December 2009

    Maybe it’s because none of my friends are pregnant yet and I’m just anticipating my feelings, but I think I will always love celebrating their pregnancies. For a second child, a “recycle” party sounds great, or just no presents, cake and games only. Who doesn’t love a party?

    Post # 89
    138 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: July 2009

    I think it is a case-by-case situation.  I just threw a shower for my sister-in-law for her second daughter.  Her oldest is only 2.  Normally I would think a second shower was overkill, however I found out from my mother-in-law that SIL had let a cousin borrow all of her stuff, and the cousin is a bit of a deadbeat (SIL didn’t know at the time how much of a deadbeat) so it looked like she wouldn’t get any of it back.  That turned out to be true – the cousin even came to the shower and kept interrupting the party with “oh I’m sorry I can’t find your $400 breast pump…let me buy you a pack of diapers to make up for it”.  Now my cousins who just want a new crib with each kid piss me off…

    Post # 90
    439 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2009

    Personally I think it depends on how close together the kids are and whether the mom has given away all the first child’s baby gear or not… even if we try to deny it, a shower is generally about setting the new parents up with all the baby stuff they will need. If your kids are close in age and you still have all your gear there’s no need… and even worse, if you’re asking for a shower, that just seems a bit greedy In My Humble Opinion.

    BUT, if you want to celebrate without the gift grab you should still do that. I’d totally opt for something like an at-home spa party or something pampering for the mommy-to-be! 

    Interesting topic though! I’m expecting my first and have already veto’d the idea of a shower {frankly I don’t enjoy them}, but will have a ‘no gifts please’ open house once baby arrives. It will be interesting to see what happens with my SIL who is expecting her second in as many years…

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