(Closed) What is your take on this situation….

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
3771 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 1999

I would let Fiance invite his friend. If he chooses to come and bring his girlfirend, ignore her (well, not really,but ignore her behavior), she can be miserable, but there is no need for that to make you miserable. I think it is more important to include someone important to Darling Husband, and who know maybe she will opt out of the trip anyways.

Post # 5
Member
46452 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Is it possible she is simply a shy person who was beyond her comfort level?

Post # 7
Member
637 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

Since this trip is planned by you and your BFF, let your Fiance knows his friends are guests tagging along.  If his Girlfriend once again pull the “not interested in group activity” then they can be on their own.  You guys have a schedule to stick to.  Your Fiance need to agree on this before inviting his friend otherwise no one will have a good time.  He has to ok on ppl doing separate things…it doesn’t have to be 100% group thing all the time (would be nice but not necessary).  You guys can meet up again for dinner and stuff and do whatever during the day. 

Maybe the girl is just really shy? (I was really shy when I first hang out with FI’s friends…)

 

 

Post # 8
Member
2401 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I am pretty introverted (so I think you’d hate me), and if I was thrown in a group of girls I didn’t know, who were much more outgoing than me, I would totally clam up and probably act similar to her (except I would have let my Fiance go celebrate with yours).

Because of that, I would say invite the Fiance. Who knows… maybe she wont want to come. International travel vs. a domestic trip is a big deal. Secondly, I really do think you should give her a second chance. Maybe go on some double dates and see how you two are when the pressure is off of her to “perform” or fit in.

Post # 9
Member
2401 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Also, super jealous that you get to go to Rio for the World Cup. It has been a dream of mine to go to a WC for forever now! But I am not going to Qatar or Rio anytime soon!

Post # 10
Member
4755 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I’d let Fiance extend the invite to his friend, if gf tags along so be it. Who says you can’t run off with your BFF? If you want to there is no stopping you making it happen. Make it clear to Fiance that you and BFF have a few things on your agenda and they are going to happen with our with out Fi, his Boyfriend or Best Friend and the gf. I really think it’s all up to you to make the trip happen the way you want. If this bf and his gf opt out of dinners, events oh well your Fiance as much as you should expect it.

 

 

Post # 11
Member
1327 posts
Bumble bee

Honestly I am the center of the circle when it comes to my friends but put me in a group where I don’t know people and I wont say a word. In fact if there are too many people I become very stressed and want out of the situation. It is not uncommon for myself and my SO to remove ourselves from a group activity for a period of time in order to calm my nerves. She was probably just shy and uncomfortable, I honestly wouldn’t worry about it, and don’t be offended by them leaving for periods of time.  Her being quiet doesn’t cause any issues so why make it one.

Not everyone is a social butterflys but it doesn’t mean they don’t like people, they just have nothing to say.

Post # 12
Member
2450 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

while you told your story, i started remembering the way that i feel in crowds or at parties. i don’t talk. i just kind of smile and nod alot. i get nervous around FI’s friends. I, myself, only have two good friends that I talk to on a regular basis. I’m just not a social butterfly type of person.

i imagine this girl is probably at least a little shy too and it is just going to take time. maybe this trip will be good… she may feel a bit more comfortable being herself in a smaller group.

Post # 16
Member
2232 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I’m speaking from experience, I would not invite them on the trip. In such a small group there is no avoiding her and if your Fiance won’t let you run off with you bff to do your own thing then that’s a problem.

Fiance & I went on a vacation with his friend & gf. The girl is not someone I would ever be friends with, she is rude and obnoxious, I barely survived that trip! Last year we decided to do it again but this time it was a large group of us so I didn’t have to listen to her/spend time with her as much as last time. I honestly thought I was the only who felt this way about her until the other girl on the trip came to my room to ask me what was wrong with her! LOL!

And I completely get what you’re saying about only travelling with certain people. I had an AWFUL experience with some friends from high school (even worse than the girl above) and since then I’ve been really careful with who I travel with.

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