Post # 1
I had a very LONG talk with my Fiance the other night because I’ve been upset about his attitude towards helping pay for the wedding and using money to support his own personal hobby instead. I cam away from the discussion with a much better understanding of where his head is at and I learned this…..
Men really do “compartmentalize” their lives and their brains!
It turns out that he wasn’t thinking that he was choosing his hobby over the wedding, in his mind it’s two totally separate issues. His hobby is something that he’s trying to turn into a profitable business, and he feels like he is reinvesting to make it more successful down the road for us. He felt that wedding was a totally separate issue and he didn’t realize I was feeling like our wedding was being made less of a priority. He actually had some ideas about helping pay for the wedding.
When I told him how I was feeling, he really saw where I was coming from and we had a discussion about how we are going to handle our finances going forward, and I’m feeling much better about the whole situation!!!
Communication really is a good thing in a relationship!!! 🙂
Post # 3
@speechgal44 I know! The way many men (including my darling FI) think absolutely baffles me. Compartmentalized is exactly the right word. It’s like his thoughts are in these neatly separated dresser drawers and mine are all intertangled together. I can’t even count how many times I was convinced that something was tied to something else and had this alternative meaning and came to discover that, nope, in his head that never happened. Glad that your talk with him helped you guys understand each other and move forward!
Post # 4
This is a good insight! Things that occur to use women naturally don’t occur to men until we tell them–and usually when we do, they will do their best to make us happy!
Post # 5
@risingsun: It was funny…he was so shocked because he just didn’t see the two things inter-related at all! I guess we women are just much better at “multi-tasking” our thoughts and feelings than men are!! 🙂
Post # 6
So glad you and your Fiance were able to sit down and have a talk. =) Good luck!
Post # 7
I’m happy you and your Fiance were able to work that out! Now you can get back to happy planning. : D Hooray!
Post # 8
This is truely awesome to hear 🙂 Men may do things differently than us but that’s ok! That’s part of why we love them, they give us a different view of the world <3 I’m glad you guys had such a great talk 🙂
Post # 9
You should read the book “Men are like waffles, Women are like spaghetti.” A friend gave it to us a wedding gift. Basically, it says men have little “boxes” for everything in their lives. They prefer to fix the things in one box before moving onto the next one. Whereas, women can “multi-task” in our heads all the time.
I try to remember this when talking to Darling Husband about anything….I can go from one topic to another to another….meanwhile, he’s still thinking about the first topic and how he can help me fix it.
Post # 10
@texasbee: i could use a waffle right now! interesting spin on the men from mars/women from venus thing…will look this up!
OP, that’s great! I remember your original thread…this really highlights how we may perceive our guys in one light based on our own viepoint but when you really do a little digging usually we find that interpret things very differently than our male partners. happy compromising 🙂
Post # 11
They are simpler creatures, they don’t analyze our every mood change to death beyond “must be her period.”
They really don’t multitask and they don’t get the whole coccept of venting. We vent, they hear, “oh oh, gotta fix something.” Women intuitively get that venting is doing something, like opening a pressure valve.
Which is why we need to talk to females sometimes.