(Closed) What I’ve learned about wedding planning after my wedding?

posted 7 years ago in Recaps
Post # 3
Member
3255 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Everyone told me that, and I ignored them. But having been married for about a month now, I truly see they were right. No one was judging things as much as I thought they would.

You have to remember who your guests are. I think people get so caught up in doing the right thing etiquette-wise and looking classy and fashionable without thinking about the fact that there’s no one to impress. You’re probably getting married in front of your old aunt who smells bad and your husband’s weirdo cousin- haha. 

You know many brides will read this and won’t listen to us. Then they’ll post something later saying the same thing. πŸ˜‰

Post # 5
Member
6661 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

I felt the same way. It’s a rite of passage though, we all have to go through it. I remember reading in a wedding magazine once (when I was engaged) the new trend of letting someone else plan your entire wedding and you just show up and I was horrified. Now I’m like “Wow that would have been awesome!”

Post # 6
Member
463 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Good advice…I’m less than 3 months away and kind of stressing about my wedding look but I just have to relax and realize the wedding will be beautiful and so will I!! πŸ™‚

 

Post # 7
Member
3482 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

I actually somewhat disagree, based on my own wedding experience. I don’t know if it was just because our wedding was fairly small, but I got to enjoy every bit of what we had so carefully planned and selected for our big day.

Naturally Darling Husband and I had our moments where we only had eyes for each other, or we were chatting or laughing or dancing with friends and family, but in between I would survey the room and think, My god, this is my perfect wedding. It actually happened.

The big surprise for me was that people noticed the little things a lot more than I expected they would. We got a lot of compliments on details I was sure no one would notice, things I had only included because they made me happy.

Would Darling Husband and I still have had a wonderful wedding day without those things? Absolutely. But looking at my photos, I don’t at all regret the time and effort we took to include them, and if I were forced at gunpoint to do it all over again (which is the only scenario in which I will ever plan another wedding, for the record, lol) I wouldn’t change a thing.

Post # 8
Member
7300 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

@brideatbeach: lol

I keep telling myself this. When I first started wedding planning, I was stressed out! Then I read 2000dollarwedding.com and it changed my world! She didn’t have $100 a piece centerpieces or served lobster and steak to her guests. She had a ceremony with close family and friends for $2000 and never looked back.

Things that I’ve realized and cut:

I don’t need expensive flowers.
I don’t need a $4000 designer dress.
I don’t need to send out Save the Dates.
I don’t need $10 a piece chivari chairs.
I don’t need crazy expensive shoes the photographer will mostly see.
I don’t need a “getting ready” outfit.

And there are a lot of things I’ve cut that I just can’t think about right now.

Post # 9
Member
5096 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

@Miss Tattoo: Hear hear!!

There were a few things I cared a lot about. I wanted the food to be excellent – I didn’t want ANYONE to leave hungry or dissatisfied (what can I say, I have a Jewish mother!). So that’s where I put 50% of our wedding budget, and it paid off in spades. I could not believe how many people complimented us on the food! 

Other things, I either didn’t bother with, or didn’t stress about. We found a florist we liked, and told him to use whatever he wanted that was local and in-season.  Our arrangements weren’t matchy-matchy, but they were all gorgeous, and much cheaper than they would have otherwise been. I mean, they’re flowers – as long as they’re not wilting, it’s pretty hard for them to look BAD, y’know?

Post # 10
Member
2161 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

You know, I agree with some of what you are saying, but on the other hand, I am so glad I did it.   The wedding was perfect, even though we were under a heavy rainfall warning that morning.   The photographer was perfect, the flowers were perfect, everything was even better than I had expected.   My only regret was that one set of grandparents didn’t know we were getting pictures done in a covered bridge because of the rain and I missed getting pictures of them.   But, everything else was perfect.

I wish I could re-live that day over and over again.   I can’t stop looking at the album from my photographer.   I spent weeks agonizing about who to choose and I am so glad I settled on him.  

We had so many complements on the details we planned and they were definitely noticed.  Maybe not everything was noticed by one guest, but people brought up some of the little details I threw in, and that meant a lot.

I’m proud that my wedding day was so perfect and turned out even more amazing than I ever could have imagined.

 

Post # 11
Member
3049 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 1991

@funlovingbridetobe: I agree with you! The wedding is over and I’m so glad I don’t have to stress over details that didn’t matter. I originally said that my reception is the most important thing to me. That sounds bad, but what I mean by that is I wanted to put more time into the reception because I wanted to have fun during that time. WELL I ended up loving the ceremony WAY more. It was amazingly beautiful and I got to stare into my husband’s eyes for 15 minutes. The reception was fun, but it was extremely rushed (even though it was like 3 hours) because I had to take pictures, dance with my dad, talk to guests, and make sure we did all the “wedding” things before people left! In retrospect, the reception is more for the guests anyway. They get to enjoy everything πŸ™‚

Post # 12
Member
138 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

THIS. So much. If we had to do it all over again, we would have had a tiny, simple wedding.

The stress I endured the past year of planning was so not worth it. Nobody cares about the stuff us brides spend forever stressing about. A wedding is about bringing family and friends together to celebrate marriage. The wedding industry has blown wedding planning out of the water. People get so caught up in the planning process that they are willing to spend crazy amounts of money on silly things. 

Post # 13
Member
2135 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I am recently engaged and planning my wedding, and I couldn’t agree more. To my surprise, I am finding myself planning on doing it very inexpensive, with the focus being more on the marriage, and the loved ones that surround us.

Post # 14
Member
2742 posts
Sugar bee

Well, I respectfully disagree. I noticed everything. While waiting to walk down the aisle, my DOC forgot something and had to go get it. So, I took off my shoes, hiked up my dress and ran back into the reception room to look at it. It was breathtaking. I loved my uplights, and flowers, I loved my photobooth, I loved my drink flags and my cake flags. I noticed it all. I loved my Mr/Mrs signs etc. I loved loved loved my cake. And people came up to me and talked about some of our decor. Even my gocco’ed napkins were commented on by  my husband’s friends. I guess to me, if I could, I would do it all over again in a heartbeat.  I am still sad that I would never get to wear my dress again. None of my friends had ever worn a lace dress and I thought I looked so classic and different. We danced until the DJ packed up. My husband and I and about 10 people were the last ones to leave. Well, it’s been 3 weeks and I miss my day. Like seriously miss it πŸ™

Post # 15
Member
3255 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@bRooklynRocks: That’s really cool that you enjoyed the small details so much! πŸ™‚

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with having special touches on your wedding day; it’s just not worth freaking out and stressing like some of us (ahem, me) did.

I didn’t learn that you shouldn’t care about the wedding day, but rather that if some of those little things don’t turn out like you wanted them to, it’s totally not the end of the world and no one knows anything different. πŸ™‚

Post # 16
Member
5110 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2011

I agree that planning is stressful at times, but now that I have been planning my wedding I dont know what Im going to do when Im not anymore. I love wedding planning so much!!! I think its just a lot of fun. But I can understand just wanting our lives to be back to normal with no more deposits, appointments, and conformations anymore, just good quality time with my love. 

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