What kids to invite?

posted 11 months ago in Guests
Post # 2
206 posts
Helper bee

natasha0b :  Nope, dont just “suck it up.” Invite the long distance kids but leave the locals out. This can be handled in different ways on the invite but to avoid any confusion for the locals then putting “no kids under xx” on then calling the long distant relatives to tell them they are the exception would work. I’m only having kids in my bridal party at the wedding and am putting “no kids” so a random cousin cant call and ask if they are the exception.

Post # 3
1195 posts
Bumble bee

Generally, you would address the invitations to everyone invited.  Include the names of the family children on the envelope.  With your local friends, do not.  If you run into them and it comes up, or they ask if their children are invited, just tell them, “The only kids at the wedding will be children in our family.” 

Post # 4
2006 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

We didn’t invite friends kids. Family kids were. 

We just put the names of those invites on the invite. Even the kids. If the kids were not invited, we just put the partents name. We also marked how many people we saved seats for. That made it very clear. 

Post # 5
1691 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

We only invited the immediate family children and everyone seemed to be fine with it. Out of 180 I think I had two people try to RSVP their kids anyway (and one yell at me on facebook lol) but that was easy enough to straighten out and it wasn’t anyone that was SO important we would make an exception.

Post # 6
745 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2019 - City, State

natasha0b :  An idea I had to struggle with as I had almost the exact same situation as you. Young kids from family who live far away and therefore having to open up kids to everyone.

This didnt work for my situation, as the kids have a behavioral disorder and cannot be left alone with a stranger, but perhaps you could offer to hire a babysitter for the family kids on the weddign night? Soem venues will even have a seperate room for kids to hang out in. It might work better with your budget and then you can say no to everyone who is non-family who wants to bring kiddo’s! Or if anyone feels really strongly, you can add them to the babysitters list!

Post # 7
6787 posts
Busy Beekeeper

You can also look at cutting colleagues so you can have local friends kids attend. I also think its fine to invite just family/travelling kids, but its easier to avoid hurt feelings with an all/none mentality. 

Post # 8
1043 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

As long as the cut-off is consistent, it’s fine. Family kids but not friends’ kids is a clear and reasonable rule.

Post # 9
2077 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

It’s perfectly fine to invite family children, but exclude friends’ kids. That’s a very reasonable line.

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