Post # 1
I’m recently engaged and the first thing on my to do list is to determine the number of guests for our wedding. With family and friends were looking at around 130-150. eek!
My side of the family will be traveling half way accross the country (20+ hour drive) and have young children so I know for them to come their kids have to be invited! Thats completely fine, my fiance and I love kids!
The issue we’re having is do we invite our local friends’ kids? If we do its probably an additional 20 guests and our only issue is cost.
We dont want to come off as rude and only invite certain kids. Like i said before, my family’s kids are invited as theyre traveling so far and it would be unreasonable not to invite them. Fiances family does not have any children so thats not a problem. Its more so our local friends or collegues that have children.
Please be kind, im not sure the exact etiquete on this issue, so im just looking for advice? Should we just suck it up and pay for the extra 20? We love kids so we dont midn them being there at all, just an issue of cost. Thanks!
Post # 2
natasha0b : Nope, dont just “suck it up.” Invite the long distance kids but leave the locals out. This can be handled in different ways on the invite but to avoid any confusion for the locals then putting “no kids under xx” on then calling the long distant relatives to tell them they are the exception would work. I’m only having kids in my bridal party at the wedding and am putting “no kids” so a random cousin cant call and ask if they are the exception.
Post # 3
Generally, you would address the invitations to everyone invited. Include the names of the family children on the envelope. With your local friends, do not. If you run into them and it comes up, or they ask if their children are invited, just tell them, “The only kids at the wedding will be children in our family.”
Post # 4
We didn’t invite friends kids. Family kids were.
We just put the names of those invites on the invite. Even the kids. If the kids were not invited, we just put the partents name. We also marked how many people we saved seats for. That made it very clear.
Post # 5
We only invited the immediate family children and everyone seemed to be fine with it. Out of 180 I think I had two people try to RSVP their kids anyway (and one yell at me on facebook lol) but that was easy enough to straighten out and it wasn’t anyone that was SO important we would make an exception.
Post # 6
- Wedding: August 2019 - City, State
natasha0b : An idea I had to struggle with as I had almost the exact same situation as you. Young kids from family who live far away and therefore having to open up kids to everyone.
This didnt work for my situation, as the kids have a behavioral disorder and cannot be left alone with a stranger, but perhaps you could offer to hire a babysitter for the family kids on the weddign night? Soem venues will even have a seperate room for kids to hang out in. It might work better with your budget and then you can say no to everyone who is non-family who wants to bring kiddo’s! Or if anyone feels really strongly, you can add them to the babysitters list!
Post # 7
You can also look at cutting colleagues so you can have local friends kids attend. I also think its fine to invite just family/travelling kids, but its easier to avoid hurt feelings with an all/none mentality.
Post # 8
As long as the cut-off is consistent, it’s fine. Family kids but not friends’ kids is a clear and reasonable rule.
Post # 9
It’s perfectly fine to invite family children, but exclude friends’ kids. That’s a very reasonable line.
Post # 10
Awesome thanks everyone! Really cleared it up for me!