(Closed) What kind of fighter are you?

posted 10 years ago in Emotional
  • poll: How do you fight?
    Loudly with passion : (20 votes)
    45 %
    Quietly with the facts : (8 votes)
    18 %
    We don't fight, we discuss : (10 votes)
    23 %
    I'm a lover, not a fighter : (0 votes)
    other : (6 votes)
    14 %
  • Post # 3
    222 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2009

    I am a big fan of this post…

     I am the WORST fighter ever and my fiance is the BEST fighter ever. I get so loud and emotional. It drives him nuts. He is so sweet and calmly thinks about EVERYTHING he says before he says it. I admire that quality in him so much. I have been trying reallly hard, and our fights have definitely been better. We rarely fight, so I always feel bad when we do (especially if I blow up). He is so patient with me. 🙂

    Post # 4
    117 posts
    Blushing bee

    love this post.  my Hunny hates fighting with me because I always "win".  I’m a lawyer so it’s my job to argue.  I know how to make the facts work in my favor.  He gets really frustrated because he says no matter what, I can twist things in my favor.  In all honesty, I HATE fighting with him.  Usually I think we’re just having a discussion or debate but in his eyes it’s a fight.  I guess I just have a thicker skin.

    Post # 5
    754 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2008

    I have learned to fight fair with my husband.  He has taught me a lot about communication and listening.  After my last boyfriend (emotionally and verbally abusive), I needed to be retaught how to be respectful while arguing.

    Post # 6
    5398 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I yell and cry and all that good stuff, and poor guy he can never remember anything and I always remember EVERYTHING so that gets him in quite a jam at times.  Our goal this year is to not fight since we are just going to make up anyway, so we are going to spend the extra time doing things that are much more fun.

    Post # 7
    71 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: October 2008

    fantastic post!

    i am a yeller and a crier with the facts and i remember everything. husband is calm and patient.  his calmness still unnerves me. our fights are getting shorter and less intense, so i think we’re making progress. he is the only person i care enough about to fight with.

    Post # 8
    359 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: December 1969

    Definitely a yeller and a crier. I cry at the drop of a hat. It’s embarrassing and I do end up crying at the most inappropriate situations, but I can’t stop it.

     We both have learned to fight more "fairly" though and it has helped our relationship. No bringing up past incidences which we have agreed to forgive each other for.

    Post # 9
    184 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: June 2009

    I’m a crier, but not so much a yeller.  I want things to be resolved fairly quickly or I sit and fume and only get angrier, and Fiance wants to walk away so he doesn’t say something he regrets and calms down.  (Often to the point where he doesn’t think we need to talk about it!  argh.)  Definitely need for a compromise.  But we’ve had several good talks on how we handle conflict and why, so it’s something we’re working on.

    Post # 10
    162 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: November 2009

    first, i have to agree… AWESOME POST caliocteach!!!

    i’m actually a morphing fighter
    first, i scream and b*tch and rant till my face turns blue and my face looks like a waterfall of tears. and then when we’ve beaten the argument to death, i begin to simmer down and just "fight" calmly and quietly– imagine saying fighting words in the most monotone voice on earth! i think at this point, FH thinks i’m bipolar or something! hehe

    Post # 11
    63 posts
    Worker bee

    haha fun

    Post # 12
    88 posts
    Worker bee

    My husband always tells me that I am a loud person and I know I get even louder when we argue. But we are both working on fighting fair and becoming better communicators.

    Post # 13
    538 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 1969

    I’m a cryer. My fiance is the most laid back person ever, he discusses things. He is not a fighter, he is a fixer. Its one of the things I really love about him. He is rational and figures out how to make things right. I can be irrational and passionate, he always knows how to calm me down and fix the problem.

    Post # 14
    2204 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2009

    ahh, caliocteach–we have the same situation!!

    I am always raising my voice (usually without reason) and getting emotional while he is quiet and either calms me down, or, if he is really upset–steps away from the situation.

    He drives me crazy because while he can be stubborn, he is so level-headed!

    Post # 15
    332 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2009

    I’m quiet and hate confrontation. I get frustrated and retreat, and try not to cry, and it sucks. Then I get mad at myself and have the fight over again in my head where I make all the wonderful points and win b/c I actually speak up for myself.

    Post # 16
    765 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2008

    I am the world’s most emotional fighter – and I hold grudges.  Got to get over that


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