(Closed) What kind of tip to give when we aren’t paying in the first place?

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
1614 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

20% of what you would have paid is the standard “rule of thumb” that I grew up with…maybe get her a gift basket with a bunch of different gift cards?

Post # 4
Member
1562 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I’d tip her whatever you would if you were paying full price… so in this case, I would give her $240.

Post # 5
Member
627 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Agree with PPs. You should tip based on the amount of the service provided.

Post # 6
Member
5657 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2012

I agree with PPs

Post # 7
Member
2425 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

My understanding is that you don’t have to tip someone that owns their own business…so since my DOC owns her business, we will probably not tip her because the money is going straight to her. Someone like a hair stylist who works for a salon and does not see that full amount that you pay for an updo, gets tipped.

In your case, I would tip since you are not paying anything though, just to show appreciation. $240 would be a good number, but it’s really a gift in this situation so it’s up to you.

Post # 8
Member
7771 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

@ChemistryBride:  You should always tip 20%.  People that own businesses have a lot of costs and taxes, overhead. 

Post # 9
Member
7609 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I agree with the $240 that other PPs are mentioning, especially since she’s not really making anything off your day.  If that’s going to be too tough on you guys, you could always give her a GIFT gift….like, a thing that you put together or buy.  That’s one way to give someone something nice and possibly save some money if you need to.  Also, since you haven’t met her yet, I bet you’ll get a better idea after you meet her and get a feel for her!

Post # 10
Member
1477 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Tip! I forgot about the tip for some vendors. 20% for all of them? really? What about 15% In my family 15-20% was the norm.

Post # 11
Member
114 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I have to agree with who ever said she owns her own business so anything extra is a bonus.

I own my business and while I have received many cards with thanks for the service provided I have never gotten a “tip” in cash but have received gift cards never exceeding $50.

However you are not paying her to begin with so I think 20% is reasonable.

Post # 12
Member
266 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I DON’T UNDERSTAND THE POINT OF TIPPING THEM AT ALL!!

I know that’s awful to say, but if I’m dropping 50 or 60000 on a wedding at inflated pricing as it is… why isn’t a nice card or nothing ok. They agreed to provide a service at that price/signed up with a co that they knew would pay them that price.

Post # 13
Member
10288 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

Tipping a vendor 20% on top of their fee is ridiculous. I know that 20% is standard in most industries but I really don’t think that weddings should be one of them. Most of our vendors were tipped around 10% which equated to $100. Our smaller vendors (like hair and makeup) received less ($50 each). I couldn’t fathom tipping a $3000 photographer an additional $600. 

Anyways, our DOC was free as well and we tipped her $100. She received our pro pics to use on her blog and a nice review in exchange for her services. She offered pretty much the exact same stuff as yours is offering.

Post # 14
Member
10288 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

@WILLIAKELLLB: Technically tipping isn’t necessary if the vendor is the business owner but often times the people working your wedding may just be an employee of a company. If that’s the case, then he/she isn’t making anywhere close to what you’re actually paying so tipping is expected. Most of our vendors were the business owners and we still tipped them but nowhere near 20%.

Post # 15
Member
266 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@UpstateCait: Which I understand, but can’t necessarily agree with.

I used to be a banquet server, no tips. I made 12 dollars an hour and expected to. That’s why I came to work.

I’m sure my opinion isn’t popular, but these people aren’t like waitresses or bar tenders where they make 3 dollars an hour. THEY’RE STILL MAKING A REAL, AGREED UPON WAGE.

Post # 16
Member
1477 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@WILLIAKELLLB I totally agree. These people are still getting paid good money for their services. Tipping is just icing, they don’t need it. Fiance wants to tip 20%. Ouch! And we’re at $65,000 for the wedding without the honeymoon. He’s in charge of the finances, so if he can make it work without out us going into debt, then I guess it’ll be 20%. It’s just soooo much money on one day. 

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