What Kind of Wedding Did Your SO want?

posted 2 years ago in Grooms/men
Post # 17
2527 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

My Fiance just wants to make me happy and he doesn’t really care much for the planning aspect. All he cares about are his friends/family being there, good food and booze and a party atmosphere. 

So, a pretty standard wedding with lots of fun aspects and about 100-150 people. 

Post # 18
4087 posts
Honey bee

greybee :  My thoughts exactly. I get what you mean when you say “mostly” and why you said it. It’s irritating to start a thread when you’re just asking a simple question and what you say gets dissected and nitpicked on then the thread becomes something else.

Getting back to your question, my SO wants a church wedding with a traditional reception (white dress, black tux, flowers, first dance, cake cutting, etc)with friends and family and for everyone to have fun. I guess, a wedding that’s as basic as you can get?


Post # 19
253 posts
Helper bee

greybee :  My favorite option would have been a small Destination Wedding in the Caribbean, since my parents, brother and I have enjoyed such vacations, and they were honestly the only people I really wanted to invite. My parents renewed their vows at a resort in Jamaica and it was lovely. Also, my boss is a travel agent on the side, her daughter had a beautiful Destination Wedding that didn’t break the bank, and one of our biggest concerns was staying out of debt. 

Darling Husband, though, has NINE siblings, and we knew most of them wouldn’t have been able to make a Destination Wedding. He really wanted them to be included. After nixing the Destination Wedding idea, it was a lot of anxiety, indecision, and back-and-forth about wedding ideas. It went on for almost 2 years. I couldn’t even fathom trying to plan a traditional wedding without spending money we didn’t have, and I’d be reduced to tears every time I thought about it. We even tossed around the idea of just flying to Vegas to elope.

Ridiculously long story short, we ended up having a small wedding kindly hosted by his boss. Just parents, siblings and a few of the hostess’ guests, and that was still 60 invites. foot-in-mouth

My dream Destination Wedding would have cost us maybe 2/3 what we ended up spending, even trying to be super-frugal, but I don’t regret it. We avoided going into debt, and I consider it a good investment in terms of my relationship with the ILs. They’re great people. 

Post # 20
331 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

I had more thoughts about the wedding ceremony, and my husband had more thoughts on the reception. Since he was a kid, he felt like every wedding and reception he went to were rehashes of the same thing, and it was important to him that ours not fit the mold–but still “feel” like a wedding to him. Nothing we did was that unusual overall, but the combination was unusual for his family.

An outdoor reception venue and cook-out style catering were his two biggest requests, so we found a way to make them work. I really wanted a Catholic ceremony with my church choir singing; it wasn’t important to him, but he agreed because he knew it mattered to me.

Honestly the biggest disagreement we had in planning was that I thought he should ask his sisters to be groomswomen, and he didn’t want to because of how lopsided it would’ve made his side compared to mine. In the end I asked his sisters to be bridesmaids, and I think it helped cement the good relationship I have with my SILs.

Post # 21
1091 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

Hubs would have been happy with a tent in a big field. Needless to say, we had something much more my taste. About halfway through the wedding, he told me that this was the best wedding he had been to and that I did a great job.

Women know best ;o)

Post # 22
1158 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

He is the one that wanted the “traditional” wedding, 100+ guests, DJ, first dances, cake cutting etc. I wanted to have a small immediate-family only semi-destination wedding. He won haha

Post # 23
9806 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

My husband seemed to have “weddings” and “comedy central roasts” mixed up.

Post # 24
140 posts
Blushing bee

I have never knew what I wanted in a wedding. I just want to get married to my SO and start a family… I think we would both be down with a big engagement party and gettin married somewhere quiet and private. 

Post # 25
1165 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

Fiance wanted to go up to some forest area in Seattle, to elope. He even had a vision for what I’d be wearing 😂 He said if he had it his way I would wear a simple white dress and my blue hunter rainboots, and he would wear a really simple shirt and tie with nice pants. 

But we are getting married in front of friends and family because having family was important to me. Fiance knew this was really important to me, so he said okay. As long as he gets to choose the honeymoon 

Post # 26
751 posts
Busy bee

It was 18 years ago,  he would have been fine with just a private ceremony and not tell anyone. Now he’s glad wr didnt.  

Post # 27
118 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: Gloucestershire, UK

Fiance always says that the marriage is more important to him than the wedding, so he is happy to support whatever I want! He’s a lovely one.

I however believe super strongly that a brides wants/wishes/dreams do not supercede that of the groom. So, we’ve talked through every step and option and have created something we’re both happy with. 

Post # 28
2120 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

I never thought much of a wedding for myself. When we got engaged, we started thinking of ideas. We decided pretty quickly that we in no way wanted people at our ceremony. I suggested Vegas, but Darling Husband wanted something closer to home. He threw out some ideas, and I researched to find things that were somewhat close to his vision. I’d say the only real difference in our thinking was that I liked the idea of Vegas, but he wanted something different. After we picked a place, the rest pretty much fell together. 

Post # 29
70 posts
Worker bee

We both wanted a simple wedding but he also didn’t want to compromise with inviting his entire gigantic family so we’re having a big fancy one. It will be beautiful so I don’t think either of us will be disappointed 

Post # 30
533 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

I personally never thought about what kind of wedding I wanted until I was on the verge of getting engaged. I am the type that always envisioned what it’d be like to be a wife and mom but I never thought about the actual wedding. To me, marriage is the important part. The wedding is just the celebration. That being said, I am super excited about our upcoming celebration that is 11 days away! 

Once we started planning together we had a pretty identical vision which makes sense because in general we have similar styles.

We are having a traditional and formal 100 person wedding at a historical mansion styled like a castle. We both love vintage styling and I love the princess aesthetic. He is wearing a classic  black tux and I am wearing a lace and tulle ball gown. We agreed on lavender and gold for our colors. Our reception and bridal party will have lavender and white roses and our theme is a “Southern fairytale.” 😊

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