- 2 years ago
He claims he didn’t want one at all.
He claims he didn’t want one at all.
My Darling Husband wanted a big wedding to celebrate with all our family and friends and that is what I made sure he had. I didnt want him to look back later in life and feel like he missed out on anything. I would have been fine eloping to HI or something, so I told him when we went to HI for our honeymoon that I want to renew our vows there someday. 🙂
My Fiance wanted a huge party with all his friends and family, and didn’t really care about the ceremony portion. I wanted a small destination wedding.
I told him without the ceremony there was no point in us spending a ton of money on just a party! We compromised, are having a local wedding that’s on the small/medium size rather then huge (basically took his and my ideal #s of guests, and met in the middle).
For the majority of weddings I’ve been to recently it’s been the Grooms pushing for the big, traditional weddings with all the bell and whistles. Most of the brides had argued for eloping/small weddings, but compromised to give their Fiance the big day they wanted!
My husband’s preference would have been to elope or have a very small destination wedding but he mainly wanted to do something that was going to make me happy. I really wanted a ritual in a park near the ocean and a celebration with the people who have supported us over the course of our relationship.
We ended up having a private pop up ceremony in the park not far from the ocean (a “mini elopement”) and then immediately followed that with a ceremony and reception (about 70 people) in a cool funky artspace in San Francisco. So- a merging of our two visions. It was perfect for us.
He probably wanted way more than what we had, but that’s compromise I suppose.
He comes from a fairly traditional background where it’s the norm to have a big wedding, invite everyone (including distant family that you’re not even close with or have never met). I on the other hand wanted to elope, the idea of a wedding absolutely mortified me and on top of that I couldn’t fathom spending all that money to host a bunch of people neither of us even knew.
We instead had an immediate family only ceremony (15 guests) and did it overseas as a way to avoid having to explain to everyone that “Yes, we are getting married, but no, you’re not invited”. Most people did not expect an invitation to a small Vegas Chapel ceremony.
I wanted to elope or have a back yard wedding with immediate family… He wanted the large extended family wedding… We are having the wedding He wanted because we can afford it and he promised me final say on all decisions.
This is my FH’s second wedding. He wanted it to be just he and I and the pastor at a romantic spot but since this is my first wedding he is allowing me to have my dream event.
greybee : He wanted to elope. So did I. Our families threw a fit so we had a tiny (super cheap) backyard wedding to appease them. They were so happy about the whole thing. And we were happy because we secretly got hitched like a week earlier, with just the two of us, like we wanted.
Darling Husband had a bigger wedding vision than I did. I just wanted a simple ceremony. He also wanted to have a small celebration with family and friends. To compromise, we had a private ceremony and a celebration with the family and friends a few months later in better weather.
In addition, Darling Husband wanted a member of the clergy to officiate whereas I had no preference. We were married by the associate pastor from a church in my neighborhood.
We both would have just eloped, but neither of us wanted to not include our Mothers and in my case siblings and nieces. Later on we would like to host a restaurant celebration 🙂
There’s no woman in our relationship, and my fi def had more of a ‘dream wedding’ well to draw from than me. But that’s not saying much because he wanted a surprise wedding with a food truck and fireworks. And that’s all. I grew up somewhere where men could not marry each other until recently, it wasn’t on my mind as a possibility at all.
We’re having the surprise wedding he wanted and I’m filling in the blanks from there.