(Closed) What kind of wedding would you have if you weren't trying to make others happy?

posted 4 years ago in Beehive
Post # 31
Member
556 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: City, State

I had exactly what I wanted. We had about 45 people come all together, and it was beautiful. It was what I had always dreamed of, the way everything turned out. And it was all planned and brought together in a month!!! Darling Husband would have preferred something smaller, like just immediate family and our few best friends, but that would have never worked as many family members would have been seriously offended had they not been invited. Oh well. At the end of the day, it still was the best day ever for both of us.

Post # 32
Member
6807 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2016

Honestly, the wedding we’re actually having! 🙂

We’re going away for a Destination Wedding with just our immediate family and bridal party. I’m so excited. I can’t wait! I’m a pretty anxious person so doing it this way has been awesome. Takes away all the anxiety I thought I’d have planning a wedding. 

The only thing I’d actually nix is the big at-home reception we’re throwing afterwards. Well, not nix but make considerably smaller. FI’s family is just so large and we do have a lot of close friends (who aren’t in the bridal party) that we’d like to celebrate with. But the guest list just keeps growing! I seriously have no anxiety/regrets about the actual wedding. The at-home reception…that’s what stresses me out. 

Post # 33
Member
1115 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2017 - Mississauga Convention Centre

Our wedding is what we want

Post # 34
Member
770 posts
Busy bee

Soph45 :  I would have had a very small 30 guest wedding on the boardwalk in Wilmington, NC. I am doing everything I want with all of the details, but we have 120 guests in a very lovely barn venue in my hometown. I still love it so much.

Post # 35
Member
2146 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

my original wedding plan when younger I guess was to elope… just decide to get married and do it there and then but our law say thats impossible (you need 28 days notice to get a marriage license to legally marry) and I dont see the point in eloping if its pre-planned by a month it kind of takes the excitement and spontinaity out of it and just becomes ‘a small wedding somewhere else’

I havent changed anything for other people really, just the crappy legal issues lol

Post # 36
Member
1149 posts
Bumble bee

Eloped and travel the world in about 3 months. Unfortunately, we have traditional parents and families and would suffer a lot of blowback and drama so we’ll probably have a small guestlist that will satisfy them when the time comes.

Post # 37
Member
767 posts
Busy bee

 

Hodgy527 :  call me terrible, but any reason why you can’t still do that and have the wedding later? Some people do that.

 

Post # 38
Member
1945 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

Let me preface that my dream was to get married “back home” (Sweden).

However I never really communicated this to my husband as we both agreed when discussing locations that “neutral ground” seemed most fair, so our initial plan was to get married at The One and Only Ocean Club in Bahamas, at the Cloister ruins. My husband and I were both excited about this destination plan and the wedding date was set. This idea went down very positively with everyone and we felt very supported by the excitement of relatives and friends writing to us about how much fun it was going to be, except one key person: my sister. She refused to accept funds from dad and said that she couldn’t afford to go.

In order to appease her (and she was going to be my MOH) as she otherwise declared she wouldn’t attend the wedding, (and to an extent to appease my mother who was being difficult in general), we changed the location to Stockholm, Sweden, and also delayed the wedding by several months because we wanted it to be warm out. So that was a pretty major change all due to to my sister. That said she was happy for it to have been anywhere at all in Europe as flights are reasonable but my husband then wanted it to be Sweden after scouting locations like Lake Como, South of France and Venice. My mother still didn’t attend the wedding but everything else turned out a dream! 

There were only very minor family influences in terms of the details of the wedding itself, we asked our families if there were traditions from our different cultures we should include and then we did everything we wanted making sure those rituals were included and the only restraints were budget related rather than trying to please anyone else’s idea of what our wedding should be.

I was especially grateful to my husbands family, they were easy-going and made substantial financial contributions to the wedding to similar degree of my fathers contribution, flew in from different continents to attend the wedding, stayed on after the wedding to holiday in my country to see and learn more about where I come from, helped out to set up on the day of the wedding and on top of it gave generously to the honeyfund. We saw similar generosity from our friends who are all international and flew in for the wedding. Compare this with how my mother didn’t attend, and the only person who gave a wedding gift from my whole Swedish side of the family was my dad (and literally all of my extended family live directly in Stockholm so had no travel or hotel costs to incur…). Some people… 🙃

Post # 39
Member
1941 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2018 - City, State

lovingbrideforever :  It’s not what my fiancé wants. He wants a big traditional wedding so Elvis is out. 

Post # 40
Member
2357 posts
Buzzing bee

I’m 40, so I dont have to make anyone happy but me.

But man if I had an unlimited budget I sure would do things differently! I wouldn’t worry about the price of my dress. I’d get married somewhere historic…I’d just wouldn’t worry about every penny. It would be a more lavish affair, more Edwardian less rustic.  Alas! If only we were weathly!

Post # 41
Member
608 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

(Note: I am not married or engaged, Boyfriend or Best Friend and I plan to get married and we talk about our future wedding all the time)

If it were completely up to me, I’d go to the courthouse and leave straight for the honeymoon to Europe after. However, my Boyfriend or Best Friend actually does want a wedding, so we’ve compromised on a small 50 person wedding with immediate family and close friends, outside somewhere (maybe a garden or nice park) with dinner in the back room of a nice restaurant for the reception. Relaxed and low-key, yet elegant.

Post # 42
Member
456 posts
Helper bee

We had our cake and ate it too:  Eloped (got married by a Justice of the Peace on a whim at a historic inn), then threw a party for family & friends 1+ year later.  Both occasions were glorious.  

Post # 42
Member
551 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

The exact wedding that I am having smile

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